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As the election progresses in Soaptown, it is clear that Percival Prevaricate, of the Party of Promises is making rapid gains against Tadgh Tightwad, of the Party of Fiscal Rectitude. But both candidates have been overtaken to an astonishing degree by The Invisible Man, whose No Presence, No Promises (empty or otherwise) and No Policies, is becoming increasingly attractive to an electorate blinded and bewildered by a blizzard of Promises, Policies and Presences in recent weeks.   The election took another strange turn yesterday, when what witnesses speculate was an item of furniture attempted to register as a candidate, blatently representing the Intelligent Furniture Party, under the name of Legs O'Chair. Since Intelligent Furniture is now a proscribed organisation, the Gardi were called and, in the ensuing struggle, the item of furniture was battoned to pieces. Later a leg and a back rest were taken away for analysis by Professor Southclaw. A Garda spokesman said that the item appeared to be constructed from oak, compatible with the oak trees in Strangetrees Wood. He admitted that it had come to the stage when people were nervous of buying new furniture and were even suspicious of furniture that had been in their homes for decades. It was a pity, he said, that because of a few pieces of mad furniture, all furniture was now being varnished with the same brush.   Percival Prevaricate said that any new government would have to address the increasing problem of rampaging furniture. Otherwise, he could foresee a time when furniture would rule the country. In that kind of a society, it would be a poor lookout for humans. He urged the electorate to vote for him and promised that, were he elected, all rebel furniture would be hunted down and converted to useful firewood.   A member of Rights For Inanimate Objects, Andy Woodenhead, described Mr Prevarication's remarks as racial, and challenged him to provide proof that humans were superior to inanimate objects. Dialogue was the way forward, he stressed. No one had yet heard the furniture's side of the situation. It would be no harm, he said, for the IF community to have a say in political affairs. He described the Gardi's actions as fascist and said that future society would regard this vile deed as murder.   Councillor Huff asked the fairies of Dun Durrish, who claim the wood as one of their domains, why they are giving rogue furniture safe haven. He said that if the fairies declined to eject the furniture, then the people of Soaptown would be left with no other alternative but to come in and root it out, even if it meant leveling every tree in the wood.   So far there has been no official reply from the fairies, although Councillor Huff has developed a lip so fat that he has difficulty in keeping his head vertical.