HOME The Good, The Bad And The Mysterious

The council chambers was the scene of extraordinary events last evening, when the meeting was interrupted (a frequent occurrence these days), by an invasion of the fairies of Dun Durrish, led by their queen Beandaragh.   The queen wanted to know why the council were dumping household refuse in the Great Hall of her palace ("without as much as with your leave, or by your leave").   Chairman Caligula said that if the fairies insisted on keeping their buildings invisible, then how ( the devil) was anyone to know they were there.   The queen said that the chairman's relation had nothing to do with the matter. Furthermore, it was common knowledge that a raised earthwork signified a fairy presence. There were certain curtsies expected from his people to hers, and desecrating her palace with their filth was not one of them.   Councilor Pedant said that there were proper channels through which such objections could be processed and he advised that the queen adopt such measures.   The queen said that she preferred to deal with the present council rather than with their great-great grandchildren. The patience of her people was legendary, she said, but it was surpassed by the procrastination of humans. She wanted the matter resolved now and not in three thousand years time. She had in her possession, she said, a document drawn up between her people and theirs, signed and dated (1023 BC), that the Wild Places were to be left to the fairies in perpetuity, so long as both peoples should exist on the face of the land.   Councilor Pedant said that all preceding documents had been superseded by the Waste Disposal Act (of 1977 AD), which designated Wild Places as Waste Disposal Areas. If the queen had an objection to this, she should have submitted it for consideration to the Planning Authority at the time.   The queen said, how (in the name of the chairman's relation) was she supposed to have know their plans when no one had bothered to tell her. In her opinion, in any case, the original agreement stood and the council and people of Soaptown had only themselves to blame for any dire consequences that might now ensue from its breach.   Chairman Caligula said that no proper business could be conducted at this time and as a consequence, he would have to suspend the meeting.   The queen said, Would he allow her? and the councilors, their chairs and the table floated up to the ceiling. The queen and her retinue disappeared in a multicoloured flash and the fire brigade was summonsed to rescue the councilors. To keep them on the ground, it was necessary to fill their pockets with heavy stones, which quite ruined the line of their expensive suits.   Chairman Caligula said the council would not be intimidated by bully-queen tactics. The laws of the land had to be respected by all, he said.   The queen's only response, when this reporter tried to interview her, was that she would meet fire with fire.   It would appear that this problem is far from being resolved.