HOME Thumbnail Biographies: Slinker Midnight

The origins of Slinker Midnight (Alley Cat Extraordinary and acknowledged leader of Grim Street's cat gang, Hell's Felines are shrouded in mystery. In dealing with his early kittenhood, it is sometimes hard to separate fact from myth, such is his standing among the cats of Soaptown.   If such tales are to be believed, he was the runt of the litter of no less a personage than Persian, Silken Sheila, the Duchess Of Dewhampton. However he created such an unfavourable impression with his spikey fur and ugly appearance, that his owner attempted to drown him. Slinker, then going by the name of Blob, bit the man in the thumb and slipped away into the weeds and marsh grass near the pond, while his former owner was cursing and showering blood about him. The man was later reputed to have died from a poisoned thumb and so Blob (alias Slinker) was credited with claiming his first victim at the tender age of six weeks. Tourists to the area are still shown brown marks on the stones, which are claimed to be blood stains.   Blob was adopted by a marauding band of Tom Cats from the nearby town, who first gave him his present name of Slinker, because, it was said, of his undulating movements, which resembled a flowing shadow. He quickly clawed his way to the top of the gang by his ferocious nature and utter fearlessness, and took it over when Grey Night, the grizzled leader, died suddenly and unexpectedly from the effects of a poisoned thumb.   Almost immediately Hell's Felines made their presence felt in Soaptown. Milk bottles were frequently emptied, dogs terrorized and houses broken into and sprayed. Policemen were afraid to patrol the alleyways alone at night.   But the destruction of the entire contents of a milk lorry belonging to the Aqua Milk Company remains, perhaps, the single most talked about event of an aggressive career. On the morning of the atrocity, the lorry was on its way from the creamery with a full complement of milk and cream when the driver, Ike Lossey, was forced to brake sharply to avoid running over a crossing cat. Before he had time to recover, he found himself surrounded by more than fifty menacing cats with claws out and teeth bared. Abandoning his lorry, Lossey ran for his life. His only injury proved to be a poisoned thumb, which, however, nearly proved fatal.   Half the contents of the lorry were stolen and the remainder broken open and scattered about the road. Rescuers found the lorry literally floating in a lake of milk and cream. A statement issued by Hell's Felines said the attack was in retaliation for the company's policy of fixing cat proof tops to their bottles. "Cats will not be denied their rightful heritage," said the statement, which was affixed with the by now well-known blue thumbprint of the HF.   Lately, there is evidence that Slinker is contemplating entering public life as a politician. "The only difference between them and us," he is reputed to have said, "is that they can change the law to suit themselves. A politician is, in effect, a legal gangster."