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The startling revelation was made
at last week's meeting of the Soaptown Urban District Council that
the area's representative in the Dail was, in fact, a mouse.
Councillor Huff said that
it was deplorable that they should be represented by a rodent. They
would be the laughing stock of the country, he claimed.
Chairman Calugila revealed
that an investigation had shown that the mouse in question was a
white pet, whose name had been added by its owner, as a joke, to the
ballot paper under its name of Wilfred. Since its deposit had been
paid, no one doubted its legality. There were, in fact, no legal
reasons why a mouse should not be elected. Voters had been attracted
to a candidate who made no promises.
Wilfred has already tabled
two motions in the Parliment. The first is that all mice should be
fed regularly, like pets (chocolate is preferred; cheese, despite
notions to the contrary, being an acquired taste), instead of having
to forage for scraps like savages. The second motion is that all
mousetraps should be scrapped and all cats muzzled.
The first part of the
latter proposal looks like having a rocky ride from the mousetrap
manufactures, while the leader of the cat faction in the town,
Slinker Midnight, has been quick to warn that the rights of cats
would be fiercely defended.
What would be the next
step? Chairman Caligula wanted to know. Cats on the Urban Council?
Canaries in Law Chambers? Already it had been discovered that Lotus
Blossom, the Pekinese from Prissy Villas had started to campaign for
the next council elections. Where would it end? If humans were not
careful and did not recognise the threat, and face up to it, there
was a real danger that, one day, they would not only loose control of
the council, but of the earth. He was not scare-mongering, but
presenting facts as they were. A world in which humans were
second-class citizens was more than possible, given the current
trends. He hoped he was not being racist when he said that now was
the time for all humans to bury their differences and stand together
against the animal threat.
To this end, it was
proposed that the election laws be amended, so that only humans would
be eligible for election. The proposal was lost after a speech
against it by Rights For Non-Humans activist, Councillor Widemind.
Chairman Caligula said that it was a dark day for humanity. |
