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At a recent meeting, held in the top room of the town hall, the Soaptown Space Agency was formed. Officers elected were: Dr Smallbrain (of the department of Impossible Ideas) as Chairman; Professor Southclaw, former world-class boxer, now dedicated scientist (who lost his left arm in a mincer accident), as Secretary, while the Treasurer is Ali Kazam, magician and alchemist, also nipp, hum, pal, nog, etc. (A full list of Mr Kazam's qualifications can be found in the third volume of Soaptown's Who's Who, between page 321 and page 413).   Dr Smallbrain said that the SSA stood for space travel for the ordinary person, that he believed, personally, that alternative, cheaper methods of powering space craft had not been tried, and it was to explore these alternatives and possibilities that SSA had been formed.  Professor Southclaw said that one of the possibilities they were exploring, and which had, indeed, proved feasible in the laboratory, was that of the power provided by talk. In this initial stage of the development, a prolific talker was needed. To this end, they would be approaching several politicians to ask for their cooperation. It was a known fact that politicians could talk for hours without being handicapped by the necessity of making sense, or, indeed, without having any subject to talk about. They would be ideal in the engine-room of the proposed space craft. Seated on a chair, a device would be attached to the politician's mouth which would filter the hot air up to the top of the craft and lift it into the upper atmosphere. In the meantime, the energy generated by the politician's jaws would be stored in batteries and used to power the spacecraft once it was above the atmosphere. Professor Southclaw said that he confidently visualised a future in which humanity would talk its way across the galaxy.  Mr Kazam said that financing the project might prove to be a little more difficult than they had hoped. Politicians willing to do something merely for the glory of their country, or the benefit of mankind, were rarer than a vegetarian cockroach. Also, the alchemy business, in all its centuries of practice, had succeeded in transmuting just one mineral into gold. Unfortunately that happened to be K49, which had been even rarer than gold, itself, and was now no longer around, the last remaining piece having been transmuted into gold in 1747. Rabbits and doves, as well as coloured silks, he could pull out of a hat, but money was a different matter.  Professor Southclaw, whose mind may have been affected by his accident, suggested kidnapping one of the minor politicians, on the grounds that no one would even noticed if a politician disappeared. The progress of science, he said, could not be held up by mere selfishness on the part of the elected.  The motion was put to a vote, but was defeated. We await developments.