(I'm wondering why we never did an "All I Need to Know, I Learned from Mr. Nutting?")
Important lessons from Mrs. Juel....
- Math is a four letter word.
- Your hair should be directly proportional to your hips.
- Sometimes all you need is the chocolate chip.
- The most important name in a book is the name of the dog.
- If you can't buy it, charge it!
- Coffee is life. The rest is just details.
- It's never too early in the day for chocolate.
- Always bring enough to share.
- Ketchup is Satan's lifeblood.
- The more people I meet, the more I like my dogs.
- When fire claims your eye sight and good looks, but the younger woman wants you anyway, you know it's love.
- Plain you can dress up. Ugly there's no hope for.
- One day you'll learn that the five paragraph essay is a waste of time.
- (But not until you graduate so remember: Intro, three body paragraphs and conclusion.)
- Dogs ARE better than children.
- You can diet all week but always respect Fat Gram Friday.
- Hard work is always rewarded... Often with yummy food!
- A pretty boy's good for a day but a lumberjack is good for life!
- A type-writer never crashes.
- It doesn't matter if the pencil marks on your desk don't match your blue pen - you still have to wash every desk in the room.
- A.N. Rouquelare is for lunch time, NOT class time.
- If you don't want your students to read it, don't mention it.
- Big Brother is always watching.
- The dictionary is your best friend - Unless it's mine, which sucks.
- If you lay with dogs, you get fleas.
- When asked details about your tattoo, blush and lie... It's more intriguing that way.
- Cheaters never prosper - Except when it comes to DQ's and Vocab.
- Martin Luther was constipated.
- Symbolism is everywhere...
- You don't have to BE tall to FEEL tall.
- When you feel tall, you feel powerful.
- There's a difference between Mars and Mars (Meijers) and far and far (fire).
- When in doubt the answer is always 7. (Or, C.)
- Mel Gibson is a hottie.
- Always keep your sweeper handy.
- When taking notes, master shorthand and don't stop writing, even for a cramp.
- Whatever you do, DON'T YAWN.
- Claggart was gay.
- Chocolate is technically a vegetable.
- The word 'conversation' can mean a lot more than just talking.
- Don't be ashamed of your hippy dippy days.
- Classic novels almost never have a happy ending.
- Record all the TV programs you might want to see but don't have time for.
- Forbid your students from talking about the TV shows you've recorded but haven't had time to watch yet.
- It's okay to wear a flannel shirt to prom.
- Drive in style - even if you have to 'chrgit.'
- If you have to get a second job (to pay off all the credit cards), make sure it's at your favorite store in the mall.
- On second thought... DON'T get a job at your favorite store. You'll just end up spending more money on jewellery Johnny doesn't appreciate anyway.
