Here is the account of the creation of the Band.
In the beginning, Mr. Nutting created the Band. And it was good. But he looked upon
the Band, and saw sin and corruption, so he divided it in into two sections: the brass
and the woodwinds. The brass, he created in his own image and the woodwinds, they were
hopeless.
Here is the account of the brass.
First, there were tubas. He created the tubas in his own image. He was pleased with
them so he gave them the best parts and the lightest instruments. Next, he created the
trumpets. The trumpets were jealous of the tubas, so they stole the good parts and
the lightest instruments, leaving the tuba players with heavy instruments and bad
parts. Mr. Nutting looked at the trumpets in anger. For their sin, he cursed them with
an extremely large ego, and heads so heavy that they could not keep them up. This put
the trumpets in a bad mood all the time. The rest of the instruments were created in
the same fashion. They all had three valves and were made of twisted metal. The
trombones, however, were not smart enough to figure out how to use 3 valves, so Mr.
Nutting took pity on them and gave them a slide. The trumpets saw that the trombones
were inferior and talked them into taking half their ego. This made the trumpet’s
heads so light that they walked around with their noses in the air forever after.
Here is the account of the woodwinds.
The woodwinds were a nomadic group, wandering across the land, blowing on sticks.
After a time, one of them realized that if they hollowed them out the sticks would
produce an almost music-like effect. Mr. Nutting saw the unfortunate lot calling
themselves woodwinds and took pity on them. He gave them a place his Band on one
condition: they must play loud and not talk a lot. Unfortunately the woodwinds got
very confused, as they were wont to do, and got the two mixed up. From then on all
woodwinds played very softly and chatted incessantly.
One day, a saxophone, a metal imitation of a clarinet, and a clarinet were left laying
upon the field. Two small field mice came along and made their homes inside the
instruments. From that day on the clarinets and saxophones squeaked when they played.
The oboe was even less fortunate for a duck squeezed his way into the bell and from
then on all oboes made the sound of a quacking duck. Mr. Nutting looked upon the
woodwinds, squeaking and quacking as they were, and was displeased. He punished them
by adding the flute to their ranks. The flute laid upon it’s side in a very lazy
manner and was very shrill when played, which was not often, thankfully enough. But
Mr. Nutting saw that this was not punishment enough so he sent the piccolo among the
woodwinds as well. The piccolos were made in the image of the flute but were only half
as long and for every inch they lost, they became ten times more shrill. The piccolos,
however, were not lazy and loved to play. Over and over they played, finding no
harmony among themselves and driving the woodwinds mad as they did. Mr. Nutting looked
upon his Band, and saw that, though it was not perfect, it was good.
So the days passed and the Band prospered. Under Mr. Nutting’s watchful eye they
practiced hard and won many contests they entered. But Mr. Nutting saw his end
approaching and sought an heir. First came Mr. Rupp.
Here is the account of Mr. Rupp.
Mr. Rupp was a clarinet at heart no matter how hard he tried to lead. Given control of
the Band, he would constantly drift back to the woodwind section where he wreaked
every kind of havoc. The clarinets he tortured night and day, forcing them to play the
same three notes over and over again. Open G. F. Open G. A. The clarinets begged him
to end the torture but he was evil inside and would not. He drove them to stand upon
hills where tiny monsters called ants would crawl up and down their bodies as they
played. Open G. F. Open G. A. Finally, in desperation, the clarinets begged Mr.
Nutting to take away their pain. Mr. Nutting looked upon the flutes and saw them
staring adoringly at Mr. Rupp who never made them play at all and gloried in their
adoration. Mr. Nutting said that this was good and would not drive Mr. Rupp away. The
clarinets, in their anger, protested by sitting upon the ground and refusing to play.
This made everyone else in the Band very happy. But eventually the flutes’ love of Mr.
Rupp spread throughout the Band. In a fit of jealous rage, Mr. Nutting drove Mr. Rupp
away. Mr. Rupp wandered the land alone for many years. He became grizzly like a bear
and gained many extra pounds. The clarinets rejoined the band and all was well.
There followed a time of relative peace in which Mr. Nutting temporarily gave up his
search for a replacement. It was during this time of peace that the percussion came to
the Band.
Here is the account of the percussion.
The percussion came in the night like a band of thieves, seeking refugee. Mr. Nutting
welcomed them to the band and, realizing they had no instruments to play, gave them
sticks and drums to beat upon. He gave them the mighty task of keeping beat and set
them loose among the Band. Chaos and pandemonium followed for he told them only to
beat, not when or where. The percussion went through out the Band, beating upon every
surface they could find, even other instruments’ body parts. The Band called out to
Mr. Nutting for mercy but Mr. Nutting could not bring himself to drive the percussion
away. The percussion remained, each keeping beat to his own time, and the Band was
never the same. They still continued to win many contests and were welcome in every
arena they played. Mr. Nutting, though, saw his end approaching ever more quickly now.
His search for an heir brought him Mr. Sleeper.
Here is the account of Mr. Sleeper.
Mr. Sleeper was proven to be most evil of spirit from his very first day with the
Band. He was a trombone and believed all other instruments to vastly inferior. He
conspired with the trombones of the Band to rise against the other instruments and
drive them away. Furniture was thrown. Instruments were beaten. He raised his voice in
the mightiest of bellows. Mr. Nutting, seeing his beloved Band being torn apart by Mr.
Sleeper, drove the vile man away. But Mr. Sleeper would not go so easily. He had
tasted power and craved more. He returned with a wife, a flute gone bad. When the
flutes and trombones would have risen to join the evil pair, Mr. Nutting raised his
voice against them in anger. The Band, seeing the full force of Mr. Nutting’s anger
for the first time, trembled as one. They realized then the power of Mr. Nutting’s
wrath and prayed that the Sleeper’s end would be swift. The Sleepers invoked every
curse they knew upon Mr. Nutting but he threw the curses back at them. The Sleepers
fell victim to their own curses. They were cursed, their children after them were
cursed, and their children after them were cursed-for seven generations. Beaten, the
Sleepers fled and were never seen again. The Band prospered even more after this
tragedy for they were awed by their mighty director. A time of great prosperity and
peace followed. It was during this time of peace that the Band came upon the color
guard.
Here is the account of the color guard.
The color guard were in a large field twirling colorful flags and dancing when the
Band came upon them. They did not always catch their flags and they did not twirl them
together, but Mr. Nutting was pleased with the color guard and welcomed them into the
Band. The color guard leaped through the air and spun their flags in their exuberance.
They went to join the Band but the other instruments turned up their noses and refused
to make merry with the color guard. They were shunned because they did not play
instruments. The percussion, feeling also the burden of not having real instruments,
went to the color guard to comfort them. The two formed an instant friendship. They
resolved to make the woodwinds and brass suffer for their mistreatment. The percussion
spit upon the Band while they played and beat them with their sticks. The color guard
slid their flags between their legs as they walked and whacked them upon the heads
when they were not looking. Mr. Nutting tried to reunite the two groups but they would
not listen. They continued to fight amongst themselves and the Band was never the same
again.
Mr. Nutting, feeling heavily the strife and anger rampant throughout his Band, saw
that he stood on the brink of his end and knew that must find his heir soon. Then came
Mr. Stice.
Here is the account of Mr. Stice.
Mr. Nutting trusted Mr. Stice because he was neither clever nor attractive. He was a
clarinet and very eager to please. They spent many months together and Mr. Nutting
knew that he had found his heir. He called his Band before him and related to them the
news of his passing. The Band wailed in unison. Their creator, their leader, was
leaving them. The Band would never be the same again. There followed much weeping and
bitter tears. Mr. Nutting regretted that he must leave his creation and wept. His
tears fell upon the Band and washed the instruments, which had been gold in color, to
pure silver. The Band looked through the tears in their eyes and knew that they had
been given a mighty gift that they would always treasure. Mr. Nutting, knowing that
his end was finally upon him, bid farewell to his beloved Band and left for a better
place. The Band looked to their new director for comfort and saw for the first time
the hard glint to his eye. Thus began the fall of the Band.
Here is the account of the fall of the Band.
Mr. Stice ruled over the Band with and iron baton. He made them to practice until they
collapsed in exhaustion. He beat the resistance out of them and broke their spirits.
When the Band took the field at the competitions they often went to, the people looked
at them in shock. This was not the Band they knew. The woodwinds and brass played in
harmony. The percussion kept a perfect beat and the color guard never dropped their
flags. The Band performed wonderfully but they did not win awards for the life and
vitality that had made them great were lost to them forever. Though the Band continued
to exist, they were dead in many ways. And this was the end of the Band as we knew it.