My mantra.

My code.

The words I live by.

This is all I want - success on my own merits and no one else’s. For people to look at me and see me as my own man, and not a child of the Fujiwara family. To grow rich and prosperous through an honest business, bringing people joy through simple things. Things that will bring them happiness. I will be happy, if they are happy.

This is all I want. I will be happy.

I will succeed above all others. I will get into the best high school in the country, and from there, into the best university in the world. Then there will be business. I will study hard. I will be the perfect student.

I will . . .

I will ignore the people who look at me, and say I have a heart of ice. I will ignore the way they look from my beautiful, lively, charming brothers and sisters to me with pity glowing in their eyes. I will ignore the whispers that I am not my parents’ true child. I will ignore those who say I have no soul. I will ignore those who beg to dance with a child of the royal bloodline, who hear tales of delicate footwork and grace beyond human capabilities. I will ignore the disappointment in their eyes when they find out my body is made from the same ice as my heart. I will ignore the sad looks on my brothers’ faces as I distance myself from their childish talk and games.

I want success.

I have no time to indulge in the silliness of childhood. I have no interest in giving my attention to the pretty flirts. I have no desire to start flirts of my own. I have nothing to flirt with.

I have a sharp mind. I have a quiet temper. I have grace when dancing. I have power while swimming. I have knowledge of twenty-one tongues and fifteen alphabets. I have memorized the rules of three branches of mathematics. I have a goal.

My body betrays me in moments of weakness. My body does not listen to my brain. My brain is that of an adult. My mind is calm, control, collected, mature. My mind knows what it wants and how to achieve it. My mind knows where certain things belong. My body defies my mind. My body is the body of a child. My body is the body of a teenager, more immature than a child, rebellious and defiant beyond the limits. My body is hard to control. My body changes itself without me willing it. My heart knows it does not matter. My heart knows my body is meaningless, my face is meaningless. My heart knows all is meaningless, now.

I do not need my heart to succeed.

I do not need my father’s encouraging words or his money. I do not need my mother’s political power or her hugs. I do not need my brothers’ companionship and they do not desire mine. I do not need my sisters’ patronizing attention, an adult condescending to a mere child. I do not need a figure to love, to strive for, to succeed for.

I succeed for myself.

I do not need him. Just as he did not need me.

I will succeed by my own merits, without aid from anyone.

This is all I want.

This is all I need.

This is all I deserve.