Due to a hectic day, I didn't get a chance to post this before the board got closed.. On that subject, the board is still available through administrative preview, so its definetly not down PERMANENTLY. At least, not yet. I can't find much out at all, presently.

As for the OQ threads. I'm not going to say much more than a few things.

First off, I owe a lot of apologies.

First, specifically, to Lady Midnight. I'm sending this through HF's email, since the only one I have for you is no longer current, so hopefully it reaches you.

LM, I by far was likely meaner to you than to anyone else in some instances. I remember little of what I vented on in OQ at all, but I do remember those things which I have always secretly regretted. First and foremost of all those is some things I said about you. My sincerest of apologies. I don't deserve forgiveness, I can only offer you my true, and honest apology for what I did. It was immature and wrong. I like to think I've done a lot of growing since then. I guess time and trial will tell.

And please, feel free to post this for a laugh at TK, if you feel I'm insincere. At least then someone gets a laugh and I know that at least some good comes from this apology.


Now, to everyone else. I've failed you all. I can say that, because I know its true. I vented, I admit it. I needed to so I could calm down enough to be logical and detached, so as not to be biased.

Whatever excuse that could afford me, I make no claim to it, other than as some weak explanation of some of my behaviour. Regardless, moderators are supposed to hold themselves to a higher standard, one which I can say I *did* fall short of.

For that, I apologize.

Which brings me to my next point. I have soul searching to do. Between my self disappointment and the job which has caused me nothing but pain and grief the past few weeks, I have some decisions to make.

There comes a point where you have to reevaluate if something is worth all that it comes with. There are people I've met here worth it all and more. But I also know that I would still have them to talk to regardless, and that matters more to me than I think you can guess. I don't know what the decision will be. I guess we'll find out.

I've always been bad at closing emails off, so I'll leave it at this.

I'm sorry. I don't want any emails back for pity or anything similar, thanks, I just needed to say all this, for my own piece of mind, if no one elses was assauged. So thanks for taking the time to read it if you actually bothered to go this far.

Goodbye for now.


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