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1. "What is sex?"
2. "Is this sex?"
3. "The sex is great."
4. "This is good with sex."
5. "Sex is complicated."
6. "Sex is preferable to no sex."
7. "Sex is overrated."
8. "Don't tell ME about sex."
TIME LINE FOR ABOVE: between three days and eighty years.
30 minutes of begging is *not* considered foreplay!
69 means being heads over heels in love.
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
A kiss is an upper persuasion for lower invasion.
A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are. -Victor Lownes
A woman wrote in green magic marker on a condom machine "This is the strangest gum I've ever chewed."
And before you get all happy, be informed that your punishment does not include pain or sex.
Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. -Mae West
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
Are you going to get naked on Valentines day?
Well, warn everone first. --rejected Hallmark card
Average: 6 inches and 34B.
Be good, and if you can't be good, be careful, and if you can't be careful, name it after me.
Beat me, whip me...OUCH! That hurt!
Being bisexual means that EVERYBODY thinks you're a pervert.
Camouflage condoms: They won't see you coming.
Chocolate syrup is good on ice cream, too.
Dear Santa: All I want is a copy of your list of naughty girls.
Do you know what a virgin dreams of? I thought not.
Dogs come when called. *I* need more *direct* stimulation!
Double Standard: Why guys get lucky and girls get a reputation.
Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
Don't give me that kinkier-than-thou attitude.
Don't just flirt: hit me with a clue-by-four.
Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
Erotic is when you use a feather, kinky is when you use the whole chicken. -- C. Haynes
Perverted is chicken soup for dinner guests the next day.
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."
Everyone is watching you stare at my chest. --a t-shirt
Exercise before kinky sex - you should be fit to be tied.
Get happy, get horny! --Ember on green M&M's
Happy birthday to my dear wife, the light of my life.
The poetry stops there and will now move into the physical arena. --rejected Hallmark card
He doesn't love me for me - he loves me fore that cute little trick I do with my tongue. -Some comic, some T.V. show
Hefty Condoms...for when you pick up real trash!
How 'bout coming up to my place for a spot of heavy breathing?
How many sex-restricted jobs require a penis or a vagina?
I Am Erotic. You Are Kinky. They Are Perverts.
I can be your wildest dream or your worst nightmare; either way, sleep well.
I don't care what anyone does, just as long as they don't do it in the street and frighten the horses.
I must be a sex object. I say Sex? and she objects.
I own my own body, but I share.
I said the three little words that no man wants to hear: "It's too soon". --Ally McBeal
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small.
I worry about when I'm 30 and I reach my sexual peak, what if I'm alone in the house? I fear for the safety of all my kitchen appliances. --Jennifer Heath
I'd love to go out with you, but I have to stay home and see if I snore.
I'd love to go out with you, but I'm having all my plants neutered.
I'm a sensitive person, especially my inner thighs.
I'm as pure as the driven slush.
I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did.
I'm not a tease, teases make promises they don't keep. I'm a flirt, I make no promises at all!
