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A booming voice says, Wrong, cretin!, and you notice that you have turned into a pile of dust.
An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard only one side of the case. God has written all the books. --Samuel Butler
And God said "Let there be light" and there was light. "Hmm, pleasant effect" thought God, and flipped it off and on a few times.
And on the 8th day God said, Ok, Murphy, you're in charge!
Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? --Jules Feiffer
Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life. --Andrew Lias
Closet sinner.
Evil will always win, because good is dumb! --Dark Helmet, "Spaceballs"
Faith is the stuff you wouldn't believe in if you were in your right mind. --Archie Bunker
FRISBEETARIANISM is the belief that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players (ie., everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex game of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, "Good Omens"
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
God kills... well, God doesn't kill, but Christians kill... they just deny it...
Good deed taken care of for the day. Now I can be bad, bad, bad.
Heck was created for those who refuse to believe in Gosh.
Honi soit qui mal y pense (shamed be he who evil thinks).
How can angels fall asleep when the devil leaves his porch light on?
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. --Frank Lloyd Wright
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. --Galileo Galilei
I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't. --Jules Renard
I guess I prefer to just have sex with my partners, without bringing my God into it, except maybe as a sort of omniscient voyeur. --JDO'C
I have ... a terrible need ... shall I say the word? ... of religion. Then I go out at night and paint the stars. --Vincent van Gogh
I just got my car's alignment checked, and it's chaotic evil.
I prefer to think of them as the Ten Suggestions.
I think you're wrong, and fundamentally evil...but...good point. --Cat Carnell
I used to be snow white but I drifted.
I want to know all Gods thoughts...all the rest are just details. --Albert Einstein
If God were suddenly condemned to live the life he has inflicted upon men, he would kill himself. --Alexander Dumas
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, "Let there be light." And there was still nothing, but everybody could see it. --Dave Thomas, "SCTV"
It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg. --Thomas Jefferson
It's time to light the candles!
It's time to say the rites!
It's time to summon Satan
on the Muppet Show tonight!
Jesus is coming... look busy!
Legion of the Damned - Reserve.
Fighting for the Forces of Evil One Weekend A Month.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. --George Carlin
Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. --Charles Caleb Colton
Once there was a time when all people believed in God and the church ruled. This time is called the Dark Ages.
Sin Boldly.
Sorry I wasn't at church last Sunday, but I was practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.
The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma. --Abraham Lincoln
The church of my choice is the free, open world. --Jason Taverner
The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
There is no difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who drinks too much and sees snakes. --Bertrand Russell
Trust in God, but lock your car.
We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. --Jonathan Swift
We praise you Lord for the strange and silly,
For supernovas and odd-shaped animals, the whimsical shape of a cloud,
the toothless grin of a baby. For prisms, caves and sneezes.
You have brightened our days with the gifts of wonder and mirth
through the works of your hands, we are invited to giggle and gawk:
to stand wide-eyed and speechless before the dance of creation.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. --Mae West
When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better. -- Mae West
Yes, I'm an agent of the devil....but my duties are mostly ceremonial.
You found God? If nobody claims him in 30 days, he's yours!
Your god is dead and no one cares.
