-
(Asked by a gentleman friend why women seemed not to have a sense of humor) "God did it on purpose, so that we may love you men instead of laughing at you." --Mrs. Pat Campbell
A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.
A woman's place is in control.
All men are Idiots, and I married their King!
All men are jerks. The trick is to find the jerk that's right for you. --Some comic, some TV show
All men are animals, some just make better pets.
Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealing with men. --Joseph Conrad
Clothes make the man... naked people have little to no influence in society.
Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry someone that you cannot live without.
Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange. --Robin Morgan
Feminism is the Radical Notion that Women Are People
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
I don't know about sex, i've been married my whole life. --Zsa Zsa Gabor
Idiocy is the essence of the male mind. --Calvin and Hobbes
If a man is alone in the forest and speaks, and no woman is around to hear him, is the man still wrong?
In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play. --Friedrich Nietzsche
Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage.
Man has his will - but woman has her way. --Oliver Wendell Holmes
Marriage is like the army. Everybody complains, but you'd be surprised at how many re-enlist.
Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up. --Joseph Barth
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance. --Oscar Wilde
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
Men like cars, women like clothes. I only like cars because they take me to clothes. --Rita Rudner
Men want to feel needed--women want to feel cherished. --John Grey
Men were born to lie and women were born to catch them.
Most men would respect a women's mind more if it bounced gently as she walked.
So many men, so little reason to sleep with any of them
Never take away a woman's weapons... she's much more dangerous without them
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
Not all men are cheating bastards; remember, some of us are gay! --"Full Frontal"
On this day I will marry my friend; the one who shares my dreams, life and love.
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women. --Groucho Marx
People call me feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute. --Rebecca West
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms"
Single men don't live like people. They live like bears with furniture. I know, I used to go to my husband's cave. There was nothing on the walls... except food. The frost in the freezer was so thick, you couldn't close the door. The apartment door. --Rita Rudner
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. --His reply
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The only thing that seperates man from animals is that man is not frightened by vaccume cleaners. --Ron Tavel
The perfect marriage begins when each partner believes they got better than they deserve.
The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool. --Rudyard Kipling
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. --Cher
There are only two types of women -- goddesses and doormats. -Pablo Picasso
This day I will marry my best friend; the one I laugh with, live for, love.
When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn't she behave like a nice man? --Edith Evans
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another county. It's a whole different way of thinking. -Elayne Boosler
Why haven't women got labels on their foreheads saying, "Danger: Government Health Warning: Women can be dangerous to your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades and good standing among your friends."? -Jeffery Bernard
Women always answer for men. That's why God gave the Ten Commandments to a man. A woman would look at them and say, "I know that's what He SAID, but I don't think that's what He MEANT".
Women hold up half the sky.
Women's creed: Men are like linoleum. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for 20 years.
You never hear a man say "Oh quick, get me out of here, there's another man wearing a black tuxedo!" Men don't mind all looking alike. It means they haven't made a mistake. --Rita Rudner
