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A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten. --Doug Larson
A wise woman once said to me: 'There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots; the other, wings. --Hodding Carter
Adolescence is when children start bringing up their parents.
An adolescent who felt she was getting criticized too much at home and school became tired of defending herself all the time. So she made up a large button and pinned it to her blouse: "Please be patient. God has not finished with me yet."
And if your mom ever starts acting really calm, don't ask questions, just run. Far away. -Matt's advice to Aiden on dealing with his mother
Best Director of a Family Comedy Series --t-shirt
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. --Jane Howard
Don't limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time. --Rabbinic saying
From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggity beasties
And things that go bump in the night
Good Lord, deliver us!
--traditional Cornish children's prayer
Fun for the whole family... if dad remembers to check for rocks first! Slip-n-Slide should have been called Bump-n-Bleed. --Some comic, some TV show
How many hopes and fears, how many ardent wishes and anxious apprehensions are twisted together in the threads that connect the parent with the child. --Samuel Griswold Goodrich
I am the Mother Of All Things... and All Things should put on a sweater.
I don't know any parents that look into the eyes of a newborn baby and say, How can we screw this kid up. --Russell Bishop
I love children, especially when they cry. For then someone takes them away. --Nancy Mitford
I'm not going to breast feed. I've put it off so long, I'm sure my milk has expired. --Rita Rudner
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton you might as well make it dance.--George Bernard Shaw
If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent. --Bette Davis
In every dispute between parent and child, both cannot be right, but they may be, and usually are, both wrong. It is this situation which gives family life its peculiar hysterical charm. --Isaac Rosenfeld
Know from whence you came. If you know from whence you came, there are absolutely no limitations to where you can go. --James Baldwin
Little children, headache; big children, heartache. --Italian Proverb
Mother is the name for god on the lips and hearts of all children. --Eric Draven, "The Crow"
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
Natural childbirth is backwards. Everyone today takes drugs except when they need them. --Rita Rudner
Nobody's family can hang out the sign, "Nothing the matter here." --Chinese Proverb
Other things may change us, but we start and end with family. --Anthony Brandt
Parents always say "You're beautiful to us." They have to say that. You look like them. --Some comic, some TV show
Parents can plant magic in a child's mind through certain words spoken with some thrilling quality of voice, some uplift of the heart and spirit. --Robert Macneil
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. --Sam Stevenson
Stop trying to perfect your child, but keep trying to perfect your relationship with him. -- Dr. Henker
Thank you very much. You were nicer to me than the woman who carried my child. Oh, not the wife, just some woman friend of her's who held my child for a few minutes. --rejected Hallmark card
The family is our refuge and springboard; nourished on it, we can advance to new horizons. In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future. --Alex Haley
The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. --Ring Lardner
The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family. --Thomas Jefferson
The joys of parents are secret, and so are their grieves and fears. --Francis Bacon
The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them. --Frank A. Clark
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. --Calvin Trillin
The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy. --Sam Levenson
The Wrong Crowd: We're the ones your mother warned you about
To understand your parents' love you must raise children yourself. --Chinese Proverb
Train up a child in a way he should go -- and walk there yourself once in awhile. --Josh Billings
Warning on knife: Caution. Blade is sharp. Keep out of children.
We never know the love of the parent till we become parents ourselves. --Henry Ward Beecher
You have to love your children unselfishly. That is hard. But it is the only way. --Barbara Bush
You're the kind of mom who, if you were ever driving down a steep mountain road and dicovered that someone had tampered with your brakes, you'd know just what to do. Blame Me. Happy Mother's Day! --rejected Hallmark card
You're pregnant?! Well, I guess we all know who the mother is. --rejected Hallmark card
Your family is what you've got ... It's your limits and your possibilities. Sometimes you'll get so far away from it you'll think you're outside its influence forever, then before you figure out what is happening, it will be right beside you, pulling the strings. Some people get crushed by their families. Others are saved by them. -- Peter Collier
