Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from Rurouni Kenshin. I don’t own the PPC – that belongs to Jay and Acacia. I also don’t own the fic ‘My December’, which I’m glad about. *Shudders*. That belongs to Koorime Yume.
If you want to read the original story, go here
********************************************************************
“Coolies, our first mission!” Sarah exclaimed enthusiastically.
Light rolled her eyes, and sighed. “They really don’t give us much time to settle in, do they?” she muttered.
“Nope, but who cares?” Sarah asked cheerfully. She straightened up from her unpacking, and walked over to the console to look at the fic she and Light were going into. As she did so, her eyes darkened.
“How bad is it?” Light asked.
Instead of answering directly, Sarah spoke in a low, angry voice: “She is going to die very painfully.”
Light came over to Sarah, and her face blanched at the writing on the screen. Bad grammar and/or spelling was guaranteed to annoy Sarah immediately. She noticed it even when she wasn’t looking for it.
“We have to get a charge list first,” Light reminded her partner, worried that Sarah was going to go homicidal on her.
“Whatever.”
Frowning worriedly to herself, Light went over to the backpacks in the corner of the room. She peeked inside them, and frowned at the strange gadgets inside. As a role-played character, she hadn’t existed in the modern world. She might have gone through the training with Sarah, but that didn’t mean she knew how everything was supposed to work.
“Hurry up!” Sarah ordered, clearly impatient to get on.
Light grabbed some paper that was still in one of Sarah’s boxes. After fishing around for a bit, she also came up with a pencil. Having a partner who liked writing had its advantages. She slipped it into her backpack, and then carried the two backpacks over to Sarah.
“We’ll have to go as humans,” Sarah told Light. It didn’t bother her, as she was already a human, but she knew that Light had a tendency to look down on humans. Well, so-called ‘mortals’, in actual fact. Never mind the fact that she was sort of dating one.
Light scowled, and then sighed. “I guess I don’t have a choice,” she muttered.
“Nope!” Sarah replied cheerfully.
Light looked at Sarah warily. She had a bad feeling about what her partner was planning to do. It definitely wouldn’t be any good for the ‘Sue. She just hoped that Sarah wouldn’t do anything until they had a full charge list.
“How long is it?” Light questioned.
“Two chapters,” Sarah responded.
Light frowned. “That doesn’t seem that long,” she commented in a cautious tone.
“It’s long enough,” Sarah replied grimly, finally taking her backpack from Light and slipping her arms through the straps. “If I recall right, the canon characters shouldn’t be able to see us unless we do something that means they can’t help but notice us, or the ‘Sue points us out to them.” She gave a wistful sigh, having wanted to spend some time talking to Himura Kenshin. He might just have been a character in an anime, but she really liked him and found him an interesting character.
Light sighed, and shook her head. “I really don’t get your infatuation with brooding male characters,” she muttered.
“Hey, not everyone already has a boyfriend,” Sarah retorted. Before Light could respond, she pressed a few buttons on the console, opening a portal into the fic.
“Come on,” Sarah ordered, jumping through.
Light sighed, and stepped through the portal as well.
HUZZAH!! My first friggin fanfic i actully got around to writing! Its a Kenshin fanfic, if you didnt notice. I had to write it on Notepad, since my Word is scrwed up, so bare with me with the whole spelling crap. .
Light and Sarah cringed at the sudden author’s note blaring in their ears. What was even worse was the fact they could hear the awful spelling and grammar mistakes.
“Make it stop,” Sarah whimpered, covering her ears.
Light patted Sarah’s shoulder. “Word not working is no excuse for spelling mistakes,” she muttered severely. “There is such a thing as proof reading files before putting them up somewhere.”
Light really wanted to plug her ears, but she figured that someone needed to pay attention to write the charge list, and Sarah didn’t look like she was up to doing anything much.
Light took the paper and pencil out of her backpack, and wrote: ‘Consistent bad grammar and spelling.’
The author’s note continued for a few more sentences, and then, suddenly and without warning, the scene shifted to Tokyo.
“Ow,” Sarah muttered, rubbing her head where she had banged it on the hard ground after the abrupt shift change. She didn’t know why she had somehow ended up on the ground, but she was certain that it was all the ‘Sue’s fault. She turned to complain to her partner, and then her eyes widened.
As Sarah had set, Light’s disguise was now that of a human. The most noticeable thing was that there were no wings. The second was that her features were more human. Sure, her eyes had a tilt to them, and her ears had a slight point. But she was definitely human.
Sarah stared. “Light…” she began.
“I know.” Light’s reply was waspish.
Sarah was prevented from saying any more by the fic.
Kenshin suddenly appeared, dragging Sanosuke along with an idiotic, happy smile on his face.
Sarah blinked several times, staring at the two characters. “Um, is that supposed to happen?” she wanted to know.
“Nope.” Light had been reading the words, and she pointed out the offending phrase to her partner. “‘Kenshin walked through Tokyo with his always happy smile. Kaoru had asked him to go into town to get some more tofu. Always happy to help, Kenshin agreed, dragging Sano with him,’” she read.
“Add it to the charge list,” Sarah ordered, watching Kenshin with obvious adoration on her face.
“Already done,” Light responded.
Sarah stared as Sanosuke sighed, and a white cloud came out of his mouth.
“‘Making Sanosuke breathe clouds,’” Light muttered, writing it down.
“More than one person speaking in a paragraph,” Sarah announced after checking the words. “Write it down.”
“Already done.”
Sarah’s eyes widened as she watched Kenshin and Sanosuke walk up to someone in the crowd, and then speak to a completely different person. A man with no other description than that.
“Bad writing,” Light muttered.
"Excuse me sir, but can you tell this one whats going on in there?" Kenshin asked a man.
"oh, Himura-san! Actully, we don't kno.." Before the man could finish, there was another loud crash and a man flew through the doorway to the Akebeko out into the street.
Sarah frowned. “Should random people know who Kenshin is?” she asked. It was really a rhetorical question. The man hadn’t been described as being someone Kenshin knew, so, unless he had been a mind reader, he wouldn’t have known who Kenshin was.
“No,” Light answered anyway, writing it down on the charge sheet.
"Ha! That'll teach yah before you go pickin fights!" a voice yelled from the doorway. Walking out of the resturant came a young women, most likely around 18, smirking at the passed out man on the ground. She was wearing loose pants tied with a ribon at her waist,and a shirt somewhat like Kenshins except it was closed more. Her long black hair rippled down her back, going perfectly with her dark blue eyes. She also carried a long package on her back, in the shape of a sword. All together, she was quite beautiful. Sano and Kenshin gazed in aw at the new commer, as did the rest of the crowed. Many wishpered at each other, wondering who this woman was.
“There’s our ‘Sue,” Light said, while Sarah cringed from the horrible grammar flying around.
Digging into her backpack, Light found something which she thought was a CAD – a Character Analysis Device. She pointed it at the ‘Sue, while Sarah dug in her own backpack for some Bleepka after having seen several Kenshins materialize due to a missing apostrophe.
‘NOEL. HUMAN FEMALE. MARY SUE. SUGGESTION: TERMINATE.’
Light blinked at the ‘suggestion’ from the CAD, and awkwardly patted it. “Thanks,” she said.
Sarah started banging her head against the nearest wall at the miss-spellings of ‘awe’, ‘newcomer’ and ‘whispered’.
Light added ‘making weird sounds’ to the charge list.
“‘Non-chalantly,’” Sarah whimpered.
By now, the police had arrived, and were ready to step in, as were Sano and Kenshin. But the girl raised her hand to stop them
"No thanks guys, I can handle it" she said, still with the same smirk. By now, the drunk had begun chraging at her.
In one swift, fluid motion, she was behind the man before anyone could blink. Even Kenshin and Sano were amazed.
“No,” Sarah whispered, her eyes wide as she shook her head in horror. “The police would not listen to a girl who told them to stay out of it. They’re supposed to keep the peace, not stand by and watch her fight. And Kenshin wouldn’t be impressed by her movements. He’s a hitokiri. He knows better than to underestimate someone.
Light patted Sarah sympathetically, then added the two charges to the list.
Sarah then frowned. “Would they be using the word ‘hell’ in that context in this time?” she wondered.
“I don’t know.” Light added it to the charge list anyway, though.
Sarah frowned at the words. “Isn’t that almost exactly what Sanosuke did?” she asked, referring to the ‘Sue apparently stepping in when one of the drunks was about to hit Miss Tae.
“Yep.” Light added it to the charge list, as well as, ‘Giving the characters shortened nicknames.’ She then looked at Sarah. “Do you want to get her now? I think we’ve got a big enough charge list.”
Sarah nodded firmly.
By now, the police had sent everyone away. The police chief then walked up to Kenshin.
"Excuse me Himura-san, but is the girl alright?" Kenshin then picked her up bridal style and turned back to the Chief. "This one believes she'll be alright. She just needs some food, that she does. I'll take her back to Miss Karou's"
“No, you won’t.”
Kenshin and Sano blinked at the young woman who was approaching them, closely followed by a second one.
Sarah thought quickly, and said with a disarming smile, “That’s my cousin, Noel. I’ll take her home now.”
Taking her cue from Sarah, Light took Noel from the unresisting Kenshin.
Sarah dug into her backpack until she found her neuralizer, and held it up. “Everyone look this way, please.” Once they had done so, she pressed the button, being careful not to look at the flashy thing, and said, “This was all just a bad dream. Please go back to whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing.”
“Come on,” Light muttered, glaring down at the still-unconscious Noel. “She’s heavy.”
Sarah looked wistfully at Kenshin for a moment, then she and Light quickly found a spot behind one of the houses that was deserted.
”All right, wake her up,” Light said.
Sarah looked through her backpack until she found the Sue-horn, a horn that couldn’t be heard by anyone except ‘Sues. Putting it to her lips, she blew.
Immediately, the ‘Sue’s eyes flew open, and she looked around with obvious confusion.
“Charge her,” Sarah ordered Light, holding the ‘Sue pinned to the wall by her elbow beneath her throat.
Light took a deep breath, and read, “Noel, you are charged with consistent bad grammar and spelling; making Kenshin look like a happy idiot; making Sanosuke breathe clouds; having more than one person speak in a paragraph; having Sanosuke and Kenshin walk up to someone and then talk to a completely different person; making random people know who Kenshin is; making several Kenshins appear; making weird sounds; having the police listen to an unknown girl; making Kenshin be impressed by a person’s movements; using modern terms; shortening character names; copying a canon character’s actions; displaying 'Sue powers; almost causing my partner to have a nervous breakdown; and being a Mary Sue. How do you plead?”
Noel blinked up at Light and Sarah. Having a short attention span, like all ‘Sues, she asked, “What’s a Mary Sue?”
“You are.” With those words, Sarah slit her throat.
Sarah found the remote activator, and programmed it to return them to Headquarters, along with the ‘Sue’s body.
As soon as they got to their room, they noticed that there was a mini-balrog. Sarah squealed happily, and ran over to it. “Farmair! He must have arrived while we were gone!”
Light collapsed in one of the chairs while Sarah put the ‘Sue’s body in front of Farmair, then turned the shrinking ray on it to make it small enough for Farmair to eat. “There you go,” she cooed. “Mummy’s got you a nice ‘Sue to eat, yes she has.”
“I just want to sleep,” Light sighed.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
********************************************************************
Ugh, this fic was horrible. I would have gone onto the next chapter, but I was getting a headache from the awful grammar and spelling mistakes, and I couldn’t face reading any more.