Sing along, kids!

Always look on the Dark Side of the Force!
Just like Ani, who got a divorce!
Life's a piece of Sith
Every way you look at it
So join the Dark Side now and don't delay!
Just sign this piece of paper
And get a red lightsaber
Do it now and make the Jedi pay!
So...

(Repeat over and over again until your victims have been suitably tortured)