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The ultra-uber (or are they) characters in this story would eventually be claimed by the folks at Renaissance Studios, if I didn't give them credit for owning them. I am sorry. Spirits just have a way of transmutating. NC-17. This story contains strong language and some pretty explicit (for me anyway) f/f and m/f sex. If you are too young, or don't like either, don't read it. If you don't like BOTH -- you also may not want to read this. This story is the third in a series of post 9/11/2001 fan fiction that began with THE WIND WILL DO THE REST and continued with ARI'S ASHES. The story also makes reference to another of my works OLD LOVE.
You Have To Die, So
You Can Be Reborn Lieutenant J.G. Grace Paxon's blue-green eyes searched the wide horizon of the Indian Ocean. She had expected to see the incoming choppers carrying ground troops by now. The long wait was about to be over, and unfortunately the medical staff would now have something to do. Having worked the past two years as an ER nurse in Appleton, Wisconsin, Grace was used to sewing people back together and assisting doctors in removing bullets. She kept telling herself that this wouldn't be too bad. She just had to believe what she was telling herself. She had joined the Naval ROTC when she was in undergraduate school. It helped pay for her college and continuing in the reserves, gave her something to do one weekend a month. Her nursing skills had been challenged by blisters, sunburn, poison ivy, and the occasional case of frostbite; the Navy in Wisconsin was far, far from the front line. When her unit had been called up for the Afghani incursion, she figured she might end up in a hospital in Spain, or maybe in some friendly middle-Eastern country, she never dreamed she would be on a ship. It was certainly a long way from Wisconsin. While the Navy was still a man's world, there were more women than she expected with about fifteen percent of the enlisted crew female. There were seven other nurses, a female doctor, and four other female officers, none of whom were her friends. Maybe if she had sailed over with the crew, instead of meeting up with them in Yemen, it would have been different. Now, this close to the front line, everyone appeared to be all business. It was probably best for everyone if they remained that way. The rotation of the chopper's blades created a strong wind as it landed on the deck. Grace grabbed her hat and held it tightly against her blonde hair. Five men departed the chopper, one had his hand in a sling, one had a slight limp, and the other three seemed totally fine. The sixth person getting off the craft was a tall dark-haired woman, carrying her steel pot helmet in her hand, with the most wonderful smile she had ever seen in her life. "Well, I guess they won't be needing our nursing skills after all." She said to another nurse standing beside her "from here the extent of the casualties look like they could be tended to by a troop of Girl Scouts with a first aid kit." "Yea!" she sighed, "But did you see that woman? What is she doing coming from the front lines?" "I think she is probably Russian." Grace's eyes tried to see if she could recognize any insignia. "May be part of the United Nation's forces." "From the salutes she is getting, I think she's pretty high ranking. I bet she has some stories to tell." "We'd better get down to the hospital room anyway. They might have something we need to test, Anthrax exposure or something." "Sure hope not." "Me either. But I wouldn't mind swabbing her throat." Grace kicked herself. That was not the right thing to say. She didn't really know her companion. Even a little slip like that might come back to haunt her, possibly ending her Naval career. *
* * * "Lieutenant
Paxon. Here are the orders on Kapitan Fedorov. She is dehydrated. Start up
a saline IV. After that, maybe she would like a bottle of water,
too." Petty Officer Second Class Jeff Hansen, from her unit in
Wisconsin, was the clerk for the ER unit today. "Aye,
Aye. Sir." She said with a big grin. "I'll get that for her
right away." Despite the fact that Jeff was an enlisted man, they had
become very close friends. She treated the big hulking farm boy as a
younger brother, not someone who should salute her. Grace
ducked into the small curtained treatment room and found the Kapitan
sitting on a chair with her legs up on the hamper holding the hospital
gowns. She had already removed her shirt and was wearing only a short
camouflage undervest stretched tight over her full breasts. "Hello
Lt. Paxon." She said looking down at Grace's name badge. "I
honestly don't think I need an IV, but if someone is going to punch holes
in my arm you look like the woman to do it." Her voice was strong and
her English had only a slight hint of an accent. It came off more like a
laugh than anything else. "Well,
I guess this is the night for punching holes, and I am a graduate of the
University of Wisconsin School of Vampiring. Too bad we don't need any of
your blood. Hole punching is second nature to me. But I-I-I prefer the
neck." Grace was unsure whether they had Halloween or vampires in
Russia. She hoped the officer would not think she was crazy. "I'll
keep my blood to . . " a slight flinch as Grace inserted the needle
"myself, thank you.” "Let's
give this a minute to see if it is flowing correctly, and I will get you
some water to drink. Fresh pure American bottled water -- compliments of
Coca Cola." Grace indicated for the woman to move her feet and sat
down on the top of the gown hamper. "How long have you been out
there, in the field." "Almost
two weeks. I came all the way through the country with a group that was
picking up allies hiding in caves. " She didn't mention to Grace that
she had also killed seven identified al-Qaeda terrorists. Grace's
eyes looked down and saw a circular metal ring hanging from the woman's
belt. "What is that?" She reached out to grab it and had her
hand met by the tall woman's. "It's
my . . " the Russian stopped for a second, "It's an old folk
Russian weapon. Sort of like a boomerang, but easier to throw." "Interesting!"
Grace pondered. "Standard issue." "Far
as I know, I'm the only one who carries one. Actually, it is my personal
weapon, but they let me carry it because . . . "Looks
like everything is running OK. I'll go get you some water, and then you
just have to sit here for an hour while this bag empties. Then you are
free to go. Just give a holler and someone will unhook you." Grace
hurried through the curtains and took a deep breath. She could swear that
Kapitan Fedorov was carrying a chakram. It probably had another name in
Russian. She certainly would have never heard of Xena: Warrior Princess
and would have thought Grace insane if she made any comment. Come to think
of it she did look like Xena, in a weary unwashed sort of way. Grace
laughed to herself and went to the refrigerator to get a litre bottle of
water for her patient. "Nice
isn't she, Gracie? Made sure you got to treat her." Jeff whispered as
she walked by with the water. "Shut
up." It had been a mistake telling Jeff that she was gay. He thought
was really funny and suggested that they could go out looking for women
together and maybe "double date." Considering the social life
she had had back in Appleton it really didn't seem like such a bad idea.
She just didn't need him bringing it up here on the ship. She
handed the Kapitan her water with only a brief "Your welcome"
and checked to see if there were any other jobs in what passed as the
ship's ER. That was the worst thing about working ER, either something
horrible had happened or you were bored. As things looked completely under
control she returned to her quarters and thumbed through a Sci-Fi magazine
not bothering to read any of the articles. Eventually she fell asleep and
waited for more choppers. *
* * * A tall
blonde male ensign escorted Kapitan Fedorov to a stateroom. "The
Captain is sorry but this is our only empty stateroom, but I trust you
will find it satisfactory." "Ensign,
when you've been sleeping on the ground for two weeks, a cot is a
luxury." The
ensign who had spent the last few minutes trying to picture the officer
with her shirt off, instead of merely unbuttoned, tried to picture this
woman sleeping on the ground, and smiled. "Call me, if you need
anything." "I
think if there is soap and shampoo in there, I will be quite happy for the
time being. Thank you." She smiled at him. Even dirty, she was most
pleasant to look at. *
* * * Olga
brushed her long hair with a nylon brush she found in the room. Dirt,
sand, and twigs fell on the floor. 'I must have been a sight,' she though,
'It's a wonder I wasn't scratching my scalp off.' A long hot shower and
two applications of shampoo made her feel a little more human. She wrapped
one towel around her body and a second around her head, and sat down on
the bunk in her room. She
jumped. Someone was in her room. The hairs on her neck rose. She could
someone. What an odd sensation! The room was so small she could almost see
every corner, yet she knew someone was there. In the
time it took to look around the room and turn her head back, she saw him
-- a tall dark man definitely not a part of the naval contingent on the
ship. He had cut his hair and trimmed his beard, but she recognized him as
the man she had rescued from the cave. The man she had given her
Tchaikovsky tape, but what was he doing here? He
held his finger to his mouth, indicating that she shouldn't talk too loud.
She wanted to scream. What was this strange man doing here? She remembered
that in the cave he had spoken to her in Greek and acted as if she should
know him. As usual, as when other unexplainable things had happened in her
life, she had just ignored him. There were some things that if you thought
about . . . "I
know. I should have waited." He was whispering softly, in English.
"It's just, you can't imagine how much I missed you. How long I have
waited. I haven't made love to any woman in ten years. I haven't made love
to you in almost two thousand years. I can't wait." The
man was crazy and he was going to rape her. A Kapitan in the Russian army
was going to be raped on a U.S. Naval vessel. A woman who had transversed
Afghanistan and suffered only dehydration was going to be raped by a mad
man once she had reached safety. She reached for her weapon. His hand was
even quicker. There was really no space in the room to fight hand-to-hand.
He seemed to sense something and backed off. "I'm
sorry. I assumed you knew. I'm really sorry." His eyes were huge and
black and filled with tears. "I
guess I am going to have to explain it to you, but I need to touch you.
Can I just sit down beside you and explain. I promise. I'm not going to
hurt you." She
nodded her head. He sat beside her and took her hand in his. It was large
and callused. He smelled like leather and strangely a little like lilacs. "What
should I call you?" He asked. "My
name is Olga, Olga Fedorov. Kapitan Olga Fedorov." "So
should I call you Kapitan, Olga or Fedorov?" He asked. "What
do you think you should call me?" "Olga,
I guess." He wanted to call her Xena. "And you have absolutely
no idea who I am?" "Well
if the intelligence we received is correct your name is Ari Sadam and you
were, until September 16th a rather high ranking member of the
al-Qaeda forces. Some sort of strategic planner, but battles mainly, not
terrorist activities. Or else you would be dead and not here on this ship.
On that date. . " She switched to Greek in case the room was being
monitored by someone who would surely speak both English and Russian
"you accomplished a major goal of the current fighting and
decapitated Osama bin Laden. We can't make that public yet or people might
think that the war is over. It isn't and won't be for a long time." He
looked into her eyes. It was almost as if he was trying to crawl into her
mind, to touch her soul. "You have absolutely no idea who I am, do
you." He bent over and took her face in his hands and gently kissed
her. His lips were firm and his tongue probing. She suddenly had no fear
of rape, but welcomed his advances. She welcomed his removing the towel,
she welcomed his hands on her breasts, and the soft firm strokes down her
torso. He broke off the kiss and began it again, this time lower and more
personal. It had been a long time since she had been made love to, even
longer since it had been by a man. It was
so very strange. He claimed he hadn't made love for ten years, yet he
seemed in no hurry. He seemed only to be concerned with her pleasure, her
feelings. She ran her fingers though his long dark hair and pulled him
more tightly into her groin. He held her firmly and seemed almost to be
trying to crawl inside her. He made no effort to remove his clothing, to
enter her, or to even get her to touch his penis. He seemed content. She
felt her body stiffen and the pangs of orgasm begin to rise. She tried to
stifle them, as you did a sneeze when you were in hiding. It made it
worse. She thought of knitting -- men thought of baseball. She thought of
her grandfather. She thought of headless corpses. 'Damn, nothing was
working. This was not a problem women often had with men. Usually they had
to fake it. ' When
the inevitable happened, she closed her eyes. Her entire body began to
convulse. He held her softly until it ended, and when she opened them he
was gone. It had to have been some sort of hallucination. She found
herself wondering if there had been some sort of sedative in the IV that
she had received. Some sort of opiate that had brought on . . . she
remembered whisperings, rambling words that he had said as he held her.
"I love you. You have absolutely no idea who I am do you? I love you,
Xena." Someone and something on this ship was really messing with her
mind. *
* * * In
retrospect, and to protect her sanity, Olga decided it was just a dream.
She found a hairdryer blew out her hair. The friendly ensign had returned
with clean US officer whites that fit her perfectly. She dressed and found
her way outside the cabin area. Lt. Paxon was standing, looking out at the
sea. She wondered if she should comment on the contents or the IV, but in
the interest of diplomacy she decided to let it ride until she had more
information. "The
stars are different here than they are in Wisconsin." The young nurse
commented. "Everything
seems so 'overhead' and north so far away." "I
was in South Africa once, you felt lost when you looked at the stars. No
Ursa Major. No North Star." Kapitan Fedorov commented. "No
following the drinking gourd." Grace thought of the American folksong
and how it related to the blacks of South Africa. 'Not
the type of comment you would expect from a woman who had drugged you!'
Olga thought. "I recognize that from an American Song." "Always
loved it. My mother had it on an old record. You know vinyl record. I
think I played it until the needle wore out and we couldn't find another
one. Wasn't the same on a CD." "I
mostly listen to classical music. I love Tchaikovsky, don't you." "The
Nutcracker?" The nurse wrinkled her nose. "Sorry that's all I
think of. The Waltz of the Flowers. Having to get dressed up at Christmas
and go to the ballet while you could be playing in the snow with your
friends. People thought I was odd enough in Appleton listening to folk
music, never thought of listening to that classical stuff." "You
really should you know. The emotions it brings out . . ." Suddenly
her mind was back to that man in her room, in the cave, the man with those
black eyes. "You
seem far away." Grace looked up and into her eyes. "That must be
some emotion you are feeling." She reached out to take Olga's hand. 'She's
coming on to me. That's it. She must have slipped some sort of aphrodisiac
into that IV and is waiting for it to take effect.' Even after the cold
war ended, tales of what the American's might do if they got their hands
on a strong Russian mind still circulated. 'She is going to seduce me and
try to find out -- she probably doesn't know about bin Laden.' It was time
to put an end to this right now. She looked down at the Lieutenant and
pulled her hand back. "Don't ask, don't tell." She whispered.
The Lieutenant shuddered and walked away. Kapitan
Fedorov returned to her room. Here she was on a US Naval vessel trapped
between an irritating, and horny, blonde Lieutenant and a disappearing
dark man who wants to rape her. Given her druthers, she would return to
Afghanistan tomorrow, where the enemies she faced would be real and
identifiable. Sleep would be a relief, as long as she didn't dream. *
* * * Kapitan
Fedorov awoke refreshed. No men or women had entered her dreams, not even
Afghani terrorists. She had had peaceful dreams of flying over Africa
watching giraffes, zebras and elephants. She dreamed of swimming in the
Black Sea and climbing mountains. She was ready to eat a hearty breakfast
and get back to fighting. Unfortunately
the ship's mess was serving that soft, cottony American bread. The
hardtack she carried in her pack was better than that stuff. They did have
fresh bananas, which she always enjoyed and orange juice. Lieutenant Paxon
had been there too. Chirping around from table to table. Always smiling,
always friendly. She hid her face behind a large mug of weak American
coffee when she danced by her table. Becoming involved with an American
nurse was the last thing she needed right now. The
information she received about when she was returning was inconclusive. It
seemed all of those airlifted were responding well, however, unless there
was a call to return to the mainland to pick up wounded, they were going
to remain on the ship another 24 hours for observation. If the choppers
had to go back, they would return, so they should remain ready to go on
just a few minutes notice. She decided it was best to return to her
quarters and pack up the few things that she had brought with her. She
planned to remain dressed in her clean clothes until the last notice
arrived. He was
sitting in her room when she arrived. He was definitely not a dream or a
hallucination. "Have
you figured out who I am yet? Have you even thought about it?" He had
an evil smile, yet at the same time projected the aura that he was not
going to hurt her. "I
thought.. " she stammered "That you were a hallucination." "Well,
I'm not am I, Olga?" "Kapitan
Fedorov." "I
thought you said I could call you whatever I wanted." "That
was before…" "You
still haven't answered my question. Do you know who I am?" "I
am sorry. I would give you the exact same answer I gave you yesterday,
which I feel was not the one you were looking for." They
had stood there, toe to toe, looking in each other's eyes, searching. She
had no idea what either of them would have been searching for. He reached
out, put his hand on her shoulder, and pulled her into a kiss. Although
she kissed him back for a few seconds, she pulled back. "I
have absolutely no interest in a repeat performance of what happened
yesterday afternoon." She said sternly. "Why,
I thought you rather liked it." "I
loved it." Why had she said that? Because she had, but then she
shouldn't have told him. "And
you still . . "Have
no idea who you are, or at least no idea who you think I should think you
are." "I'm
sorry. I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this." His look was distant,
almost cruel. He lunged toward her and grabbed her arm and twisted it
behind her back. He was much stronger than she was and seemed to
anticipate her every move. He was definitely going to rape her, or beat
her up, or kill her. Maybe all three. He pulled his arm back and made a
fist. He was going to hit her in the face. She wondered where the security
was on this ship. "No,
can't do it. I thought . . . I've fought you a lot more times than I've
fucked you. Maybe you'd remember that. . . but I can't do it." She
was totally confused. "Sit
down. Just stop me when you remember something. OK. Long, long time ago.
Thrace. Small farmhouse, belonged to your grandparents. I was a farmer.
Big ugly dog, Horace. Used to take things and bury them. Anything? Does
anything sound familiar?" "Dog
maybe, but my grandparents lived in Kiev. Never been to Bulgaria. Too
depressing. Are you sure you haven't got me confused." "You'd
gone to the village with your friend. The bard. Little blonde." "Grace?" "No,
Gabrielle. I can't believe it. You really, honestly don't remember." A
knock on the door. She turned to look that way and when she looked back he
was gone. She realized that she had been sitting talking to a
hallucination again. It was the ensign telling her that she needed to go
back to the hospital for a few more tests, nothing serious, the doctors
had just decided to test all those who came from the mainland. Of
course Lt. Grace was waiting blood kit in hand for her to come in and get
vampirised. "Well
it looks as if your wish has come true." She smiled at the nurse. If
you can't beat her, the least you can do is torment her. "They
just decided that while you were here we'd do some tests for exposure to
chemical and biological contaminants. Nothing to be worried about. Pump
your fist. Now a little stick." "Shut
up and take the blood. I know the drill." She
watched as the tube filled with blood. The nurse changed tubes and took
another. "Now
relax." "I
said I knew the drill." "You
know, they teach nurses what to do with patients like you. Just a little
slip and you have a nasty hematoma deal with for the next two weeks." "Even
if they outrank you." "Especially
if they outrank you. You should see what we can do with men!" Kapitan
Fedorov could think of one man, somewhere on this ship perhaps, that she
would love to see this little nurse get her hands on. 'What a delightful
match that would be.' Her smile, while appropriate to her thoughts, was
totally out of line with the needle being removed from her arm and the
nurse placing a cotton ball and a band aide over the puncture. "Thank
you. I trust you will find something interesting." Olga
Fedorov stared out at the Indian Ocean. The strange memories that she had
dealt with all her life by ignoring had followed her here. Followed her
here, and magnified. She'd never hallucinated like this before, she was
sure of it. Maybe she had been exposed to something on the mainland. Maybe
al-Qaeda had developed a new weapon and had tested it on the allied ground
forces. If that was the case, the war was going to be a long one, a very
long one. *
* * Olga Fedorov couldn't believe it. Kat had
moved to Prague. The woman she loved, the woman she had expected to spend
the rest of her life with, had taken a job with an American law firm in
Prague. She hadn't even written to tell her, but just left a message with
her landlord in Moscow. The hairy old man was only too delighted to
deliver the message when she stopped to pick up her key. She wanted to
throw her fist through the wall. All that time, thinking about coming
home. She turned her back and started up the stairs. "Kapitan Fedorov, wait, I've got
something else for you." She spun around. He threw an audiocassette
with a note wrapped around it at her. She caught it with one hand and
continued up the stairs. She knew who had sent it, but wondered what the
note would say. Still wondering if you remembered.
Got tired of waiting in your empty apartment. Remember I do love you. If
you need me just call. Ari. She had come home for a three-week vacation
-- R & R as the American's called it -- from the war. Now she finds
out that her lover has moved and some crazy man has been hanging out in
her apartment. She went into her bedroom expecting to see her civilian
underwear spread all over the room. She worried that he might be stalking
her, waiting outside for her to leave her apartment, or worse yet, hiding
in the shadows like he did on the ship, convinced that she really did love
him, as he kept saying he loved her. To her surprise, the apartment was as
she left it and empty. She awoke the next morning and went to the
gym before breakfast. For the first time in seven months she worked out
with heavy weights and found that she if anything had gotten stronger. She
had lost five kilos but felt fit. "I hear your girlfriend left for
Prague." A short bald man working out at the next bench said to her. "What is this, dump on Olga week. Even
my gym friends welcome me back with bad news." "Sorry. She wasn't good for you, you
know. Just liked the idea you were a military hero. She wasn't going to
wait." "I thought she was. Good and willing
to wait." "Well, even Kapitan Olga Fedorov can
be wrong sometimes." "By the way, have you seen a strange
man around here. Tall, very well built, long black hair, black eyes." "Olga, you just described half the men
in this gym." "Names Ari, or Ares or something like
that." She had no idea where the name Ares had come from after she
said it. "Arum. Arum Tchaikovsky. Says he's
related to the composer. Started coming in about five months ago. Works
out three-four hours a day. No idea what he does, but he usually comes in
about ten. Do you want me to tell him you asked." "Don't you dare say a word to him.
Arum you say. I can't believe the bastard is calling himself Tchaikovsky.
Don't you ask for identification when someone joins this gym." "I did, he had it, Olga. I.D. card,
passport, everything." She muttered under her breath. She was only
going to be in town for three weeks. If she got here early and was gone by
9:30, she probably wouldn't run into him. That is if she could trust the
weasel that ran this gym not to tell him that she was here in the morning.
"What was it like there, Olga?"
Her work out friend asked. "You know, cold, dry, ugly. Bad food.
Lots of blood. The usual." "Sounds like it." "Yah, but you know what the worst
thing about Afghanistan is?" "No, what." "Worst place on earth to try to pick
up women." He laughed. It was too bad that this
gorgeous woman had absolutely no interest in men. But then, if she wasn't
interested in men, why had she asked about Arum Tchaikovsky. He wondered. * * * "Grace. Lt. Commander Harris wants to
see you." Jeff had a concerned look on his face. "Says it is
important." She wondered if anything had happened to
any of her patients after she left yesterday. None of them seemed
critical; she tried to visualize a case where something might have gone
wrong. Of course her next thought was always that her sexual preference
had been discovered. She had been very careful, and since that Russian
Kapitan had left, not really tempted. Still, you never know when you might
slip up. "Lt. Paxon," the Major asked,
"How is your Russian?" "Totally non-existent. I don't even
know how to say hello. I know 'nyet' or is it 'neyt'. That's about the
extent of it." "What if I were going to tell you that
you were going to spend the next three weeks in Moscow." "I'd say 'nyet.'" "And I'd say what you say has nothing
to do with it. Our friends the Russian's have developed a new way of
taking blood. It doesn't involve needles, some sort of ultrasonic beam
that inserts a cannula. Really cuts down the risk of blood born
contamination. We're sending you to learn about it.." "Shouldn't you send a doctor?" "Can't spare a doctor. Never know when
a battle is going to turn ugly. This is really a skill for nurses, you're
the ones who insert most of the needles, and you Lt. Paxon are our best
vampire." "I guess I could stand a change of
scenery. " Six plus months of ocean had gotten a little old, even to
someone from Wisconsin. "Go pack your things. You leave in two
hours. " "Thanks. I'll get you a Faberge egg or
something. They do come in chocolate, don't they?" "I thank you in advance Lt. Paxon. Now
get going." She couldn't believe it. She had been
picked to go to Moscow to learn about this new procedure. Three whole
weeks away from this cussed gray ship, that cussed blue ocean, and that
cussed red blood. No! There was still going to be blood, lots of it. She
wondered if she might run into Kapitan Fedorov, but convinced herself that
the blue-eyed Russian was still killing men in caves in Afghanistan, if
she hadn't been killed herself. * * * * Olga had been home less than a day and
already she was bored. After a hearty breakfast, she had no idea what to
do next. She had not made plans to fill her downtime, expecting to spend
it with Kat. Now with her lover gone she had absolutely no interest in
going out to try to find someone else. Not with her leaving again in three
weeks. She walked silently in the cold rain; it wasn't spring yet, even
though the calendar said April. He was walking silently beside her.
Matching strides. She could sense his presence before she saw him. Again
he appeared out of nowhere. It was beginning to get frightening. After not
bothering her for six months, she was certain he was not a hallucination,
but wasn't sure what he could be. "I hear you have a new name. Complete
with I.D." She looked him square in the eye and told him. "Creative aren't I? Don't you just
love it?" "Why are you stalking me?" "I'm not stalking you. I just heard
that you might be a little lonely the next few weeks. Girlfriend left you.
Those guys in the gym were sure excited about it." "Damn them, always talking behind my
back." "You should hear what they say, or
maybe you shouldn't. You've killed men for less than that." "If there is a man I should kill, it
would be you. Mr. Sadam or Mr. Tchaikovsky, or whatever you think I should
KNOW your name is." "Still don't remember do you?" He
asked again. "I know, maybe it's Rumplestiltskin." He laughed. "Not quite, but a good
guess. Going to have to give you style points on that." 'Damn' she thought to herself. 'Why does
this stalker have to be so good looking? Why is he so tempting? Why do I
want to take him home with me.' 'That's it, Xena.' He thought to himself.
'Go with it. Just let it run and you'll remember who I am.' "Let's
get out of the rain. Get a cup of coffee or something. How about coming
back to my apartment. It's just a couple of blocks from here." 'Damn it, why did I just say "yes:'
she thought to herself. * * * * He made Greek coffee, replete with sugar,
in a small copper pot, and poured it into small white cups. "Why do you insist that I am Greek? I
was born here in Moscow. My family is from Kiev. Never been to Greece in
my life." She said. He answered her in Greek. "That is
where your spirit is. Why do you speak the language of a country where you
have never been?" "In case you haven't noticed. I am
speaking Classical Greek. I learned it in college. A modern Athenian would
understand about every third world. Why do you understand me?" "Haven't you wondered that, too, Olga?
My Greek is the same as yours. Does that mean anything?" She hadn't. Now she did. "All Greek to
me. .Sorry. I couldn't resist." "Quite honestly, it doesn't matter
what language you speak. I know them all. Any language where a war has
ever been fought." He wondered if he was giving anything away. He had
so wanted her to figure it out for herself. He was fairly sure now that he
hadn't resurrected her from the ashes in that cave, but instead caused her
spirit, alive and well and living in the twenty-first century to come to
him. It was his Xena; she just didn't know it. He wanted her to figure it
out for herself. "Think someone told me that once, when
I got the orders to go find you in that cave. Didn't know what it meant
then, still don't. You are the most mysterious man I have ever
known." "And you have known me for a long,
long time." "You keep telling me that. How long?
Didn't you say two-thousand years." "You have a good memory, Kapitan
Fedorov. Short term anyway. It's that long term stuff that seems to have
slipped a bit." "Well, if I have two-thousand years of
memories, sorting through them is going a while. I'm only back home for
three weeks, so I'd rather not bother." "Not bother!" He seemed somewhat
upset. "Yes, why do we not make that the
operative phrase for the next three weeks -- You will NOT BOTHER me and I
will NOT BOTHER trying to figure out who you are." "And if I don't" "I have friends on the police. I can
have your good looking ass thrown in jail and I am sure that the GUYS
there will have a lot of interesting ways of making you feel right at
home." She turned and walked out the door. Once
again he stood there alone and confused, wondering where he had gone wrong
this time again. * * * * Grace Paxon sat in the classroom and looked
around. There were about thirty people, ten of them women, five of them
very attractive, in the seminar. The speaker would talk, three to five
minutes, in Russian and then a voice would come in her earphones
translating it into English. It gave her a lot of time to look around and
look at the people, check out her "gay-dar" which was rusty from
the ship. 'Shit, it was rusty from Appleton, Wisconsin, too,' she thought.
She probably wouldn't know a gay woman if she came up and kissed her. 'Kissed her,' she thought above the
translation, 'I should have kissed her. That night on the ship. I wanted
to kiss her. She was so beautiful there with the wind in her hair. She was
. . . The program ended without an English
translation. The final few minutes had to have been banal platitudes that
the presenters deemed unworthy of translation, or else they were
government secrets. She would never know. She thought about all those
years in high school in college she had struggled with French, then
changed to Spanish because it was supposed to be easier, how could she
have known that what she really should have been studying was Russian. Her hotel was a short two-block walk from
the hospital where the classes were being held. It would be easy to not
venture further into this city that seemed to alien. She walked with her
head down carrying the heavy bad of materials they had been given for the
course and ran into . . . Olga Fedorov. 'Was it proper to hug a Russian military
officer on the streets of Moscow? Hell, she didn't care.' She grabbed the
taller woman and pressed her body against hers. Olga Fedorov seemed somewhat surprised at
the nature of the hug. With another woman it would be breast to breast,
groin to groin, but Olga was so much taller that the two women's body
parts just seemed to spoon into convenient hollows. Grace loved the way
Olga smelled and didn't want to let go. "I thought you were in Afghanistan
rescuing men in caves!" "And I thought you were on the Indian
Ocean, sewing up the men I rescue." "R & R." "Vampire training." They both laughed. "Do you need a drink. We Russians
drink too much. I know a nice place down the street." Grace thought, 'You need a drink. There
isn't enough vodka in Russia to cover what I am going to do to you
tonight.' They were the only two women in the bar,
yet none of the men seemed to bother looking at them. In fact, most of
them didn't look beyond their personal glasses of vodka. Grace found it
hard to visualize another place where Olga Fedorov could have walked into
where the men present would not have stopped dead in their tracks and
stared at her. It were Russian men that dead and uninterested, or was this
a gay bar? They sat, talked and drank. At first they
talked about meaningless things. Then Olga allowed her to babble about the
course she was talking, the details of drawing blood, things she couldn't
have cared about. She remembered taking her hand and demonstrating the
finger prick, and not letting go. She had rolled up the Kapitan's sleeve
and traced the veins on the inside of her elbow with her finger. She
wanted to trace the veins on the inside of her neck. She had not removed
her hand as Olga told tales of Afghani caves. Grace was still nursing her second drink
while Olga seemed to have had four, or was it five. A few slices of hard,
dense, dark bread had appeared, with sweet white butter. They had filled
her stomach and produced the same feeling as dark chocolate. No wonder the
Russians had always complained about the bread on the ship. "It's getting late. I should be
getting back to the hotel." "I'll walk you back. It's not safe to
walk the streets alone." "But you will be walking back to your
apartment alone." "First of all, I am a Kapitan in the
Russian army. I can take care of myself." "First?" She looked up at the
taller woman. "And second, who said, I am going
home?" Olga took her face in her hands and softly kissed her.
Obviously "don't ask, don't tell" was not the rule in the
Russian army. Here was an officer kissing another woman in the dark, but
still rather public, bar. Perhaps else the men in this bar had secrets of
their own not to ask or tell. She could not walk close enough to Olga as
they navigated the two blocks to the hotel. Her steps came with irregular
rhythm as if she were the one who had had the five glasses of vodka. She
didn't remember when she had been so excited. She was surprised she could
walk at all. They separated as she retrieved the key to her room and
walked up the three flights of stairs, but as soon as the door opened,
they were in each other's arms again. There was no time for ritual undressing;
neither of them wanted to wait for the other to take the lead. Grace
removed her own blouse and folded it neatly; Olga peeled off her T-shirt. "Stop. Let me look at you this
way," Olga said when Grace had removed her trousers. She was wearing
a floral patterned bra and matching bikini panties. "I've always had
a thing about western underwear. Leave it on for a while, please."
Strangely enough Grace had thought the exact same thing about Olga's
ribbed knit, seriously covering, underwear. 'Tidy whities' she had said to herself. Olga kissed her and held her tightly. The
bodies, undressed, seemed to fit a little better. In fact, undressed, it
didn't seem to matter how the bodies fit. Grace reached under Olga's shirt
and fondled her huge breasts. She had never made love to a woman with
breasts like that. Olga had breasts like the women in men's magazines,
except they were real. "Lie down, and let me undress you.
I've always wanted to untie those little strings that hold on woman's
panties. Too bad yours are elastic." "If I'd known, I would have worn my
tie-on ones this morning. Maybe tomorrow." "If, I'd known, I would have checked
for holes," Olga laughed. Grace's finger had found a hole in her
underwear and had sneaked inside. "Are there more? I hope." "That tickles!" "It's supposed to." "Shut up girl, and let me fuck
you." "Make me." She did. Although Grace had always known she was
gay, the sex she was having with Olga was different than any she had had
with a woman. She was more powerful, in control, and yet at the same time
totally uninhibited. It seemed totally natural, as if the things they were
doing what female bodies had been designed to do. Olga seemed to sense and
do things that Grace had only done to herself, but with the feeling of
unexpected pleasure that comes from someone else's hand. 'Well, Grace,
you're not in Wisconsin anymore' was all she could think. She didn't remember drifting off to sleep.
She only remembered waking up, looking at the clock and realizing she was
already late for the first morning session. Instead of awakening Olga with
the same pleasures with which the Kapitan had put her to sleep the night
before, she had to dress quickly and run to her classes. * * * Olga awoke starving in the small hotel
room. Grace was gone. Looked at the clock and realized it was almost
ten-thirty am. Too late to go to the gym and not run into Arum or whatever
he was calling himself that day. She wasn't sure she wanted to go into the
gym smelling of sex -- female sex -- anyway. She walked in the bathroom,
splashed some water on her face, and swirled some of Grace's mouthwash in
her mouth. It was too early in the relationship to borrow her toothbrush. She turned around and he was there.
Standing right behind her leaning against the door jam to the bedroom. He
was wearing a soft leather jacket, full cut black trousers, and a too
tight black T-shirt with Paverotti printed in white on the front. The
ever-present leering smile was there, too. "What in the hell are you doing
HERE?" She took two steps toward him. He grabbed her, pulled her toward him, and
kissed her full on the lips. He didn't stop. She was not used to kissing
men while she was naked; she was not used to kissing men. His short beard
brushed against her face. With such little time passed, the difference
between being kissed by a man and a woman became apparent. It was
definitely different. "I tried to stay away," he said,
"But as you can tell you still BOTHER ME." Finally mustering enough courage to pull
away, she glared at him. "I assume, since you seem to be
trailing me, that you realize that I have just spent the last twelve hours
making love to a WOMAN. I am a lesbian. Do you understand me? I don't DO
MEN!!" He smiled at her softly. "If that is
the case, Xena. Will you please take your hand off my butt." She pulled it away, as if it was in a fire,
but he grabbed her again. "You can put it back if you want, but I
certainly would prefer it if you put it on the front of my pants."
She missed her chance to comment on the name he had called her, there was
no way she could respond now because she had parted her lips and allowed
him to fill her mouth with his tongue. Her hands, to her total shock, were
doing exactly what he had suggested. She unfastened his belt, unbuttoned the top
of his trousers and slowly unzipped. The pants fell unaided to the floor.
He was not wearing underwear. She was not aware of his hands ever leaving
her body, yet with a slight shrug, the jacket was gone. He lowered her to
the bed -- Grace's bed -- and mounted her still wearing the T-shirt. Although she had gladly welcomed an
assortment of oversized, creatively engineered, and pseudo-realistic sex
toys, that women like Kat sometimes used in lieu of fingers and tongues,
it had been years -- since she had been a teenager-- that she had had a
manís penis in her body. She had forgotten its natural warmth. No teenage
boy she had fucked had been this large or this skilled. He kept her pinned
to the bed in what she had always called "momma and papa"
position, and refused to let her roll him over. "Today, I am fucking you Xena. You can
always fuck me later." It was that name again. It just rolled off his
tongue so naturally, and he was talking to her in Greek again. He came first, his sticky cum spilling out
on the bed. "I'm sorry. I thought I had remarkable self control
considering how long it has been," he whispered. His hand covered her
hand on her crotch. "We'll work at this together, Xena. I love
looking at you like this." "That's the third time, you've called
me that." "You can still count. I must have lost
my touch." He snuggled a kiss into her neck, laughing a little.
"And I suppose you still don't even know who I am." "I suppose you couldn't fuck me
again." "Why do you suppose that?" His
cock was hard against her stomach. "I'm not often wrong." "This time you are." This time
she was on top. This time she came. "Your little nurse friend is going to
be in for a real shock when she comes back. Hotel housekeeping is not
going to be able to mask the smell of what went on after she left. She is
going to know." Olga glared at him. She hadn't thought
about Grace for over an hour. With all honesty she wanted to grab him
again, to feel his cock in her mouth, or maybe even in her ass. She
couldn't imagine what had happened to her. She wasn't high. She wasn't
drunk. She wasn't even hungry anymore. He was gone. His clothes were gone, but the
scent remained. Nothing she, or a legion of Russian housekeepers, could do
would remove the smell of that man. She tossed her holey underwear in the
wastebasket and put on her outside clothes. She had to get away. Somewhere
far away. Somewhere safe. On the way back to her apartment to change,
brush her teeth, and gather a few clothes, she stopped at the train
station and bought a ticket to Kiev. She was going to spend the next two
weeks with her grandfather. |