Here, There, and Everywhere One can't be in two places at the same time ... or can one? "How do you think you're gong to get away from Feducious this time?" asked Hercules as he crossed the courtyard at Cheiron's Academy. "Well, I thought maybe you..." began Iolaus. "Oh, no! Not again! We covered for you once, and that's enough!" "Oh, Herc! Come on! I need to get out today. Kora's waiting for me!" "You're waiting for Kora, more like," scolded Hercules. "Waiting tables. I'm sorry it keeps getting in the way of your social life, Iolaus, but you've got to study!" Iolaus turned suddenly away from the front door of the Academy, pulling Hercules around with him. "Don't look!" he hissed. "There's old Fiddle Face now." Ignoring his own command, he peeked over his shoulder to see the Academy's head teacher standing on the porch in the Saturday sun. "Don't let him see me!" he whispered desperately, moving in front of his taller friend. "You'll need more than my help to get out of this one, Iolaus," muttered Hercules. "Like maybe, a helmet of invisibility." With an ingratiating smile, he turned to greet the teacher. "Feducious! Hi! Beautiful day, isn't it?" Iolaus tried to shake off the demi-god's hand where it gripped his vest, turning him around too. "Hi, Feducious," he echoed the greeting with considerably less enthusiasm. "Good morning, boys," Feducious replied. "Are you ready for your lesson, Iolaus?" Finally squirming out of Hercules' grasp, Iolaus straightened his vest with a tug. "Yes, sir," he sighed, his blue eyes flashing a glare at his so-called friend. Hercules waved as Iolaus followed Feducious into the building, then turned to walk to the training room. While Iolaus worked on academics, he might as well work on athletics. The lanky young cadet leaped up onto the balance beam, a fighting stick in his hands. He walked the beam, placing each foot as carefully as if he were stepping on a basket of eggs, swinging the stick in wide arcs and shifting his weight to keep his balance as he covered the distance back and forth. As he finished a particularly tricky set of maneuvers, he was surprised to see Feducious come into the gym, a place he usually avoided. "You haven't seen Iolaus, have you? He said he needed to get a scroll from you," said the teacher, looking around the room as if he might see his student lurking among the exercise equipment. Hercules tossed his stick aside and dismounted from the balance beam with a graceful flip. "No, I haven't seen him since this morning," he said. He picked up his stick and put back in the rack. "He must have been looking for a scroll from my bunk," he suggested. "Or maybe the library?" "We were working in the library," said Feducious, frowning. "Now, where could he have got to?" He turned thoughtfully back toward the classrooms. Hercules sighed a deep sigh. He had a pretty good idea that it wasn't a dusty old scroll that Iolaus was looking for. He hurried out of the Academy and headed down the Corinth Road. Meanwhile, at Kora's, the blonde innkeeper was checking the supplies for her lunch menu. "Make sure we have plenty of fruit cut up," she instructed her new cook. "And, Emeril, open up that goat cheese I got in yesterday. It will be perfect in the stuffed grape leaves." In the brightly painted dining room, Kora scanned the tables as she wiped a few crumbs off the bar. Her weekend lunch specials usually attracted a large group of Academy cadets as well as her usual clientele of traders and local merchants, and she expected a brisk business. As she opened the shutters, she was surprised to see Iolaus suddenly run past the window. "Hello, Kora!" he cried breathlessly, skittering to a stop just inside the door. "Did you miss me?" "Desperately, Iolaus, desperately," she replied dryly, rolling her eyes. "But aren't you supposed to be at the Academy today?" "I knew you needed me, so I had to come." He flashed a wide grin at the innkeeper as he tied an apron around his waist. "And Cheiron is okay with this?" Kora didn't want Iolaus to get in trouble with the Academy headmaster or with the authorities by working at her inn. If he didn't complete his class work, he'd have to go back to jail to complete his sentence for theft. "Sure!" Iolaus replied. "He's fine with it." Or he probably would be if he knew about it, he added to himself. "So, what can I do for you, Kora?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows. "You can help Emeril with the grape leaves," said Kora. "In the kitchen." "Okay! Anything for you!" With a grin, Iolaus disappeared through the swinging door, leaving Kora to greet her first lunch customers. She had seated several tables of customers, and was serving lemonade at the counter when Hercules came into the inn. The young demi-god was one of her favorite customers, and she greeted him with a warm smile as he sat down on the last empty stool. "Lemonade?" she asked, already pouring the drink into a tall glass. "Thanks, Kora." Hercules took a long swig. "Is Iolaus here?" he asked. "He's in the kitchen," replied Kora. "Mind if I talk to him?" Hercules finished the glass of lemonade with one gulp. "No. Just don't keep him too long. I'm sorry it keeps getting in the way of your social life, but he's working, you know. We're pretty busy, as you can see." She nodded at a table of middle-aged women in the corner who seemed to be convulsed with giggles as they passed plates of baklava and tiramisu among themselves. "I don't know how he did it," she said, "but he managed to sell desserts instead of salads to the entire Corinthian Ladies' Aid Society." Hercules sighed. How did he do it, indeed? In the kitchen, the cook was tossing handfuls of vegetables into a large stewpot. A huge platter of stuffed grape leaves stood on the table, ready to be plated for customers. "Hand me that pepper mill, will you," asked the cook. "This stew needs a little more kick!" "Have you seen Iolaus?" asked Hercules as he handed over the mill. "He just went out to the storeroom to get some more grape leaves," said the cook. "Thanks," said Hercules, heading for the back door. "Bam!' said the cook, grinding pepper into the stew. Meanwhile, back at the Academy, Cheiron looked into the library to see two heads, one bald and one with long blond curls, bent together over a pile of scrolls. He was thankful that Feducious had volunteered to tutor Iolaus. The boy had a lot of potential, but his enthusiasm needed discipline. With a little focus he could be good student. The centaur ambled out into the courtyard where some cadets were playing bagball. He found a spot on the sidelines to watch as the Shirts team maneuvered the ball down the field, only to have it stolen with a quick kick by one of the Skins. Cheiron joined in the applause as the ball went past the diving goalie into the Shirts' goal near the stable. As the cadets took a water break, Cheiron noticed Hercules come in the main gate. Weaving his way among the crowd of bagball players, he walked over to meet the demi-god. "You're not playing, Hercules?" he asked. "No, sir. I'm looking for Iolaus. Have you seen him?" "He's inside, working with Feducious." "He is? I mean, he is. Of course he is." "You know he has to complete the make up lessons before the final exam, Hercules," said Cheiron sternly. "I'm sorry it keeps getting in the way of your social life, but you shouldn't disturb him" "What?" Hercules stammered. "Er, uh, no, sir." With a nod, Cheiron went over to congratulate the cadet who had made the goal. Hercules went into the Academy. He'd disturb Iolaus, all right, if he could find him. He went past the classrooms to the library. Feducious was high up a ladder, putting scrolls into compartments in the storage shelves. "Can I help you, Hercules?" he asked from his perch. "No. No, sir. I was just looking for Iolaus." Feducious climbed down the ladder. "He's gone to the kitchen for a drink," he said. "He's been working so hard, I thought he deserved a little break." "Has he been gone long? I need to talk to him," said Hercules. "Now, Hercules, this is not the time. I'm sorry it keeps getting in the way of your social life, but your plans will have to wait until we're done with today's lesson." "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir." Hercules managed a feeble smile as he backed out of the library. Iolaus deserved a break, but not for refreshments, and Hercules was just the one to give it to him. Meanwhile, back at Kora's, the Corinthian Ladies Aid Society were getting ready to pay their bill. "I had the stuffed grape leaves and a baklava," said one. "That's only five dinars, isn't it?" "Don't forget your lemonade, dear," said another. "That's another dinar." Kora sighed as she passed the table and overheard the negotiations. The ladies had lingered long over their desserts, gossiping about everybody in Corinth from King Jason to the magistrate's wife's teenage niece- not in the same juicy tidbit, fortunately. Iolaus had left them to it perhaps a little too long. Where was he? He should be ready to make change. Kora headed to the kitchen to remind her waiter of his duties, but suddenly Iolaus burst breathlessly out of the kitchen and descended on the table. "Ladies, can I get you anything else," he said, flashing his famous smile. The ladies collapsed into giggles again, but managed to collect enough dinars to pay for lunch. "Keep the change, Iolaus," said the magistrate's wife with a wink. "You know we always appreciate your good service." Still giggling, the ladies finally made their way out of the inn. Iolaus brought the money to the counter and counted out enough to pay for the ladies' lunches and handed it over to Kora. There were quite a few coins left over, he was happy to see. "Why don't you clear that table and call it a day, Iolaus?" said Kora. "I think you've had a good day, and I've never sold so much baklava in my life!" She pushed Iolaus's wages across the counter adding them to the pile of tip money, then scooped up the rest of the coins and put them into her strongbox. "Thanks, Kora!" said Iolaus, loading up his pouch with the day's takings. He piled empty plates and cups on a tray and, balancing the load precariously, headed for the kitchen. Sipping a glass of lemonade. Kora wiped down the counter and the tables. She stacked some chairs in the corner. The band would be arriving soon, and she had to get set up for Saturday night's club date, but she could put her feet up for just five minutes before she had to move the tables back to open up the dance floor. She sat on a stool to finish her lemonade, but her moment of rest was interrupted when Hercules came into the now deserted dining room. "Where's Iolaus?" he demanded. "He's probably still in the kitchen, Hercules, helping clean up," replied Kora. "What's wrong? Didn't you get up with him before?" Hercules took a deep breath. "No, I didn't. I guess I just missed him." Hercules sat down at the far end of the counter. "Tell me, had he been working here all day?" "Why, yes. And he worked hard, too. He made a very nice tip from the ladies!" Kora laughed and poured herself another lemonade. Suddenly there was a commotion at the door as four young men came in carrying lyre cases. "Is this Kora's?" asked one of them. "We're the Boys from Syracuse!" he held out his hand. "Sorry we're late, but we took the wrong turn out of Corinth!" "The Boys ...? Oh! The Band!" cried Kora, jumping off her stool to greet the newcomers. "You really should come back tonight, Hercules," she said. "These guys come highly recommended!" She turned to direct the musicians about setting up their equipment, leaving the demi-god to search for the elusive Iolaus. In the kitchen, the new cook was quickly chopping vegetables and rolling grape leaves in a whirlwind of activity, but it was no surprise to Hercules that Iolaus was nowhere in sight. "Iolaus?" he asked. "Gone!" said the cook. "Thanks!" said Hercules and ran out the back door, leaving the cook muttering something about more garlic.
Meanwhile, back at the Academy, the bagball game had broken up and the cadets had gone inside to shower and change. It was a big night a Kora's tonight, with a live band all the way from Syracuse! Hercules ran straight through the empty courtyard and into the library. He stopped suddenly at the entrance, catching his balance on the doorframe. "Hercules? What now? Is something wrong?" asked Feducious. "Yeah, Herc! What's up? We're trying to do some work here!" Iolaus was sitting at a table, a slate full of numbers in front of him, a smudge of chalk dust on his nose. "Hey, thanks for the Greek notes, buddy." He waved a scroll at the demi-god. "Oh, uh, sure, Iolaus, any time," Hercules said. "I'm, um, glad you found it." He backed out of the room, pulling the door shut after him. How did he do it? he wondered. You couldn't be in two places at the same time, but Iolaus didn't seem to believe that law of nature. He wandered back out to the courtyard. "Think fast, Herc!" Iolaus kicked the bagball toward him, startling him out of his reverie. "Iolaus! How ...?" "Old Fiddle Face let me go. He said he'd had enough for one day!" Iolaus moved the ball around Hercules with some nimble footwork. "I'm sorry it keeps getting in the way of our social life, but you know, Feducious's tutoring isn't so bad after all!" he said. "Oh yeah? What did you learn today?" asked Hercules skeptically. "Well, I learned a lot about time management!" laughed Iolaus. He kicked the ball into the net near the stable. "Goal!" he cried happily, raising his arms in victory. Hercules just shook his head in disbelief. Iolaus had scored again. The End This story is a response to the July 2003 Challenge. |