On This Day ...

Luke Philpot

Napoleon Boneparte, apart from everything else, had two passions in life - bread and swimming. For breakfast he would, invariably, demolish some white bread, brown bread, soda bread, short bread, French bread (naturally), ill bred (rather sickening!), thoroughbred, well bred (which was a bit soggy), and of course, hot bread (from Julia's). Signs by, when he went on a crash diet, he wrecked four carriages and badly damaged the State Coach. He also caused three French bakeries to go into voluntary liquidation.   He was a renowned swimmer, and performed the backstroke, sidestroke and sunstroke with consummate ease (on occasions he also used his hands and legs).   On a crisp November day, closely watched by his faithful General Election, hopeful Corporal Punishment, and charitable Private Opinion, he cut happily through the ice-bound, kidney-shaped swimming pool, which was specially designed for him by Frank Lloyd Wright, the noted archaeologist and dabbler in architecture. Wright was also responsible for the Empire State Building in Chattanooga. Other commissions secured by him include the cul-de-sac, or blind alley in See-Thru Mews, West Kensington. Hence his loveable habit of turning a blind eye every time he saw "The Masked Ball" being performed in the See-Thru Mews Operatic Society premises - the "Democratic Attic", suitably located in the basement of what was formerly the studios of Thomas Gainsborough, the Pre-Raphaelite Abstract painter, who not only had many brushes with the law, but also painted with extinction - hence the disappearance of so many masterpieces. Unfortunately, the student pieces have been preserved for posterity.   Napoleon Boneparte had his last swim in his kidney-shaped swimming pool, 161 years ago on this day. Copyright © 2001 Luke Philpot