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A Certain Taste to Remember

by Lord Certain Justice

Donuts with your tea or a little barbecued leg of threk with a flagon of ale are all well and good, but some of us require more than troll jerky to make it through the long

evenings between adventures. When I get back from a particularly arduous quest, nothing rests better in my tummy, or preys more on my mind, than a little dragon chicken or tea-smoked ogre. I usually begin with crispy fried manticore chips with asfarnass dip, and end the evening with pickled cockatrice eggs in mint jelly. The

entire repast I wash down with no less than a full decanter of ancient mariner port, a vintage recovered from a long dead raiding party I happened upon --but that story is for another time. Just on the off chance that you might want to try one of these treats on your mate the next time she asks why you never do any of the cooking, I present one of my favorite recipes. Bon appetit!

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INGREDIENTS FOR DRAGON CHICKEN

1. 1 14 lb chicken (if you have trouble locating one, subtitute a small threk) alive or freshly killed.

2. 1 small dragon, just old enough to breathe (fire that is).

3. 1 full set of fake armor.

4. 1 gallon of molasses

5. A generous assortment of spices and fresh vegetables.

Directions

• In logistics lay the true challenge of preparing this dish. Presentation and accoutrements aside, I have always found that bringing each ingredient together effectively is be the mark of a truly wondrous chef.

• First, fit the chicken (or threk as you prefer) into the armor. Next, fill the gauntlets and boots with vegetables (these remote areas tend to be subjected to less severe heat) and collect the juices.

• Now, pour the molasses into the neck of the breastplate; this tends to hold the entire affair together better and to restrain the bird, if you were lucky enough to get a a live one.

• Sprinkle the spices through the grate of the full helm on the bird's armor.

• Now comes the tricky part. You will have to sneak up on the dragon. With the chicken panicked and unable to see or smell the dragon, chase it towards the fell drake! A note of warning at this point: Timing and skill at arms are crucial at this juncture. You must kill the dragon (or otherwise recover the roasted carcass) after the dragon breathes, but before he eats your supper without becoming an unexpected appetizer yourself. It is prudent NOT to use area effect magic due to the collateral damage likely to be done to your supper.