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May 31, 2006. A normal day, OR SO I THOUGHT. Ok, so this story isn't really as exciting as I'm making it out to be, but it was quite an adventure. On this day, I recieved a package in the mail from the ever-lovely Angela Saenz, webmistress of this very site. I'd known this package was coming for some time but I had no idea what it contaied. I was told, however, that even she didn't know exactly what it was that was in the package, but that I should use it on the site. Never being one to pass up such an opportunity, I whipped out my camera and started noting what was happening. Little did I know that these pictures may have been my last.		MYSTERY!
I call these "Harrison-holes"	I inspected the package to see if there was anything dangerous stuck to it, ready to destroy me as soon as I opened the package. Thankfully, the wonderful people at UPS did my work for me! I wouldn't be surprised to see a scene up in their plane of a mail-carrier tearing an explosive device off of my package, sticking it onto the terrorist's face, and kicking him out of the aircraft yelling something like "GET OFF MY PLANE!" like Harrison Ford did in that movie. They should have Harrison Ford advertise for them. I'd trust him to get my packages where they need to go safely. Be the destination across the galaxy, or just to some ancient, booby-trapped temple. I am a marketing genius.
So, I opened the package via the hole undoubtedly caused by an action-hero, and there I found them: Love Haros. Two of them! Of course, when I first opened the package, I had no idea what they were. There wasn't even any English writing on the box! Except for one blurb plastered all over the background in text so small I couldn't get anything even resembling a clear picture of it. It read: "HARO" is a mascot robot based on the TV cartoon "Mobile Suit GUNDAM" featuring its round body that runs and jumps. Since its debut in 1979, HARO has been a character indespensible in the GUNDAM Series. This HARO has just become a toy collection, "HARO COLLECTION."		Suddenly, HAROS!
It even comes in pink!	"Ohhhh, NOW I know what this is!" I had seen Haro in my channel surfing ventures, a cute little robot that really doesn't seem to do anything more than hop around and say "HARO!" I think it lasted so long on its cuteness alone. Like puppies, or babies. Cute, but other than that, completely obnoxious. So, I decided to check the box. Maybe there would be something there that could tell me what these little Haros do, other than sit quietly in the corner.
Well, the back of the box is clearly full of warnings. But, of course, I can't read a word of it. If I can't read the warnings, then how am I supposed to know what I can and can't do with these toys? Can I take them in the bath without being electrocuted? Can I put it in the toaster? Can I use it as a suppository? I don't know! Since I can't read these warnings, whatever happens with these are clearly the manufacturer's fault. If I decide to put it up my nose in order to block my sinuses so I won't snore during the night, and somehow it causes me injury, then it is their fault for never putting anything on the box that tells me "Hey Steve, that might not be such a good idea."		It's like it's from another planet!
Poor Pac-Man...	Well, I could understand ONE warning... Apparantly, if the box is fed to Pac-Man, it will cause him to cry uncontrollably. No one wants to see that happen. And I'll be damned before I let anyone try.
On the side, more crazy foreign language. But with PHONE NUMBERS this time! Now, any normal person would tell you that it's probably nothing more than a help line, to call if you have any questions or comments. But I know that normal people are actually crazy. These numbers could be ANYTHING! It could be a phone sex line for Haros. It could lead me to the ultimate answer, letting me live out my days happy with the knowledge of enlightenment. Or it may just cause me to be yelled at in Japanese by some old woman. I won't call it, though. For all I know, the number may actually be in Japan. The last thing I want to do is have to explain why the phone bill is so huge from calling foreign countries. "I'm sorry Mom, I'm trying to move out of the attic, but I just HAD to call Japan!"		Destiny awaits!
The instructions.	Now, on the other side, THERE were the instructions I'd been looking for! But again, I CAN'T READ IT! It was time for me to use my amazing powers of context and figure out what this toy is supposed to do from looking at the corresponding pictures. I think I did a good job of translating, take a look: A: Tie Haro up in a bag, light the fuse, and wait for the fun! B: A bag full of Haros is the perfect weapon for crushing those pesky diembodied zombie hands!! C: Opening Haro's top flaps open the gates of hell. D: Make sure Haro uses its toilet, its waste is actually battery acid.
And finally, in case you still weren't sure where haro was from (Probably from not being able to read the extremely tiny English text), there's a nice big picture of a Gundam's head on the bottom of the box. Still no English, though, so unless you know what a Gundam is, you're more likely to wonder just how on Earth Voltron is involved in all of this. Unless you don't even know what Voltron is. In which case you are a loser.		GUNDAAAM!
Gift wrap? Or erotic asphyxiation tool?	It was time to open the boxes. Inside each, I found a little bag and a ribbon, probably used for wrapping up the Haro as an explosive or a zombie deterrent, like the side of the box displayed. I mean, it's not like it could really be for gift-wrapping. It's clear! A person would know exactly what they were getting as soon as they saw the bag!
Each box also had a little guide showing all the different Haros from the collection, and a whole lot more unintelligible text. I'm not sure if these are instructions, or if it's telling me not to get it wet or feed it snacks after midnight. At least with the different pictures on each paper, I could be sure that I did recieve two different Haros.		I have no idea what this says.
Cute, right?	And of course, the main attraction, the Haros. Trapped in their little plastic bags, they looked so cute, so defenseless. I just had to let them out. That was mistake number one...

WHY DO I CALL IT A MISTAKE? WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? WHY DO I MAKE HAROS SOUND LIKE EVIL WRAPPED IN A SOFT TACO SHELL?
CLICK HERE FOR PAGE 2!!

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Website made by Stevan Szczytko and Angela Saenz, Drawings and comics by Stevan, all characters not created by me are trademarked and copyrighted by their various owners who are very nice and wouldn't sue me because I do these works because I'm a fan.....that and I have no money.

Comments? Questions? Curses? Send me an e-mail at inkyblob@gmail.com. If you don't suck I just may reply to you on the site...or have one of my imaginary minions do it.