Rommie Redecorates
Title: Rommie Redecorates
Author: ILH, aka Melissa
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Rommie gets fed up with the disaster area that is Harper's quarters and takes action...
Fandom: Andromeda
Disclaimer: Andromeda is property of Tribune.
In Response to Avalon's Challenge: A "Trading Spaces" or "While You Were Out" story -- have either a couple of the crewmembers redecorate each other's rooms, or have several of the crewmembers spring this sort of surprise redecorating on an unsuspecting Tyr or Beka or Harper or whoever. (Personally, I'd love to have Rommie get frustrated with Harper's housekeeping and redo his room, or Harper fill a room for Rommie's avatar with flowers and other lovely things, but that's just me. I love to see what people come up with around here.
Seamus Harper read a flexi as he reclined on his bed. He was surrounded by spare parts, flexis and papers filled with specs, garbage and items that one wouldn't even want to attempt to identify. He chugged the rest of his Sparky Cola, crushed the empty in his hand and tossed it over the back of his head.
"Harper..." Andromeda's hologram appeared and said in an annoyed tone.
Harper burped loudly. He finished reading the flexi and dropped it on the floor next to his bed.
The hologram rolled her eyes.
"What?" Harper asked, clueless to the source of Andromeda's exasperation.
She gestured the flexi on the floor. "That!"
"The Pangalactic Surfing Competition on Infinity?"
Andromeda paused. She considered helping Harper with his untidiness, even though she knew he hated when she even suggested that he clean his quarters. "Are you going?"
"You're looking at the next champion, babe!" Harper jumped up from his bed and waded through the garbage covering his floor to his closet. The door slid open and another pile of junk fell on the engineer.
Andromeda's exasperation changed to concern. "Harper!"
However, Harper popped out with a grin on his face and a surfboard under his arm. "Found it!"
"Harper, have you considered cleaning your quarters recently?" Andromeda asked.
He shrugged. "I like the lived-in feel."
Andromeda paused again. Her decision was made. "Would you like to leave a day early for the competition?"
"What about Dylan?"
"I'll take care of that. You can leave right now."
"I don't know, Rommie..."
"In fact, I insist on it. You need the shore leave."
"Well, if you insist...okay, Rom-doll. I'll go early."
Rommie entered Harper's quarters a moment later. "I'll help you pack and take your things to the Maru."
Together, Harper and Rommie managed to find what Harper needed for his trip in several minutes. Rommie sent a maintenance bot to the Maru and walked with Harper.
"Y'know, this is real nice of you, Rommie," Harper said.
"We can manage without you for a few days. You do work more hours than anyone else and deserve a break occasionally," Rommie replied sincerely.
"Only the best for you," Harper said. "I think I'll pick up something for an upgrade on your avatar I've been meaning to do."
Harper and Rommie arrived at the Maru.
Rommie smiled. "Have fun, Harper."
"Beer, babes and the beach? How could I not have a blast?" Harper boarded the Maru.
"And so will I." Rommie's smile changed into an almost evil grin as she exited the Hangar Deck.
*****
Dylan was in Hydroponics practicing his jump shot. The ball hit the backboard, not quite going into the net. Dylan sprinted forward to rebound the ball and sink the ball through the net in a lay-up.
"Nice recovery," Rommie commented from behind the captain.
"Thanks." Dylan was breathing rapidly and a light sheen of perspiration covered his forehead. "What brings you to Hydroponics?"
"I came to inform you that Harper has departed for a surfing competition on Infinity."
"He wasn't supposed to go yet! Why did he leave?" Dylan asked with surprise.
"I allowed Harper to leave," Andromeda replied matter-of-factly.
"And you didn't clear it with me beforehand? Harper was in the middle of repairing your sensor array. That's more important than a surfing competition!"
"There are much more important matters to consider."
"Like what?"
"Follow me." Rommie turned around and exited Hydroponics.
"Where are we going, Rommie?" Dylan asked, following the avatar.
"You'll see." Rommie walked to Harper's quarters with Dylan trailing behind her.
"Harper's quarters? This is the important matter?" Dylan asked.
"When was the last time you saw the interior of Harper's quarters?"
"Well..." Dylan pondered. "I don't remember."
"Take a look, then." Rommie stepped forward, and the doors slid open, revealing the enormous mess that was at one point spotlessly clean crew quarters.
Dylan stepped into the room. "How long has it been like this? You can't even see the floor."
"The state is cumulative. The items in the first layer covering the floor have been there for over a year."
"Why didn't you just ask Harper to clean the room or send some bots to do it while he was working?"
"Harper refuses to clean it himself. He claims to like the 'lived-in feel.' It will take approximately 60 hours to thoroughly clean the room."
"What about the furniture? I think whatever that is on his bureau is acidic and eating the entire thing away..."
"That's why I took the liberty of buying some new furniture for Harper." Rommie slyly smiled.
"I don't like the looks of your expression. What did you buy for Harper?"
"Cargo Bay 7. I was just sent some bots to move the new furniture to this corridor."
"I've gotta see this," Dylan said.
***
Rommie sat Indian style on Harper's bed as bots cleared out bins filled with garbage.
"Copy all his specs onto new flexis. Disinfect and put his spare parts in the locked box in Cargo Bay 7," Rommie instructed a bot. "And we'll need another gallon of industrial strength cleaning solution for the floor."
"It's still sticky after four bottles?" Beka asked from the doorway.
"Five bottles," Rommie corrected Beka.
"Who would've guessed that Sparky Cola mixed with Harper's favorite machine oil could make superglue?"
"Not I," Dylan said from behind Beka, peeking in the room. "How's it going, Rommie?"
"The floor should be cleared in the next few hours. Then, the furniture will be..." She ran a finger over Harper's empty nightstand. She crinkled her nose. "Disposed of. It's still sticky."
A bot lifted two shirts and showed them to Rommie. "Dispose of those, too. They've been contaminated."
"Contaminated?" Beka and Dylan asked.
"483 colonies of pathogenic organisms were growing in and on most things that were in the pile on Harper's floor," Rommie explained.
"No wonder Harper's always getting sick," Dylan commented.
"I can transfer the contents of the flexis and disinfect the spare parts he had. But his clothing can't be salvaged," Rommie said.
"What's he going to wear until we stop at a drift?" Beka asked.
"High Guard uniforms," Rommie responded.
Beka laughed. "You're really punishing him, aren't you?"
"You haven't seen his new furnishings!" Dylan chuckled.
"They're in those boxes?" Beka asked, moving onto the tops of her toes to peer inside. She immediately fell backward laughing. "I think we should all participate in Harper's homecoming."
"It's going to be...interesting," Rommie said.
Dylan helped Beka back to her feet. "That's for sure!"
***
"I'm a surfing god!" Harper breathed onto his trophy and polished it with his shirt. Then, he absent-mindedly reached up to his neck and touched the hickey next to his dataport. "And a love god! Man, is everyone gonna be surprised." He sighed contently and leaned back in the Maru's pilot's chair. "Only half an hour till I get back home again."
"Andromeda Ascendant to Eureka Maru," Andromeda's voice said over the communication line.
"Hey! What's up, Rommie?" Harper asked.
"When you dock in the Hangar Deck, leave your things on the Maru. We have a surprise for you."
"A surprise? Like a surprise party?" a very interested Harper inquired.
"Something like that. You'll see." The communication line cut off.
"This keeps getting better and better! They heard about me winning, and they're gonna throw me a party now!" Harper set the Maru on autopilot and hopped up out of the chair.
He hyperly hurried around the Maru, trying to pass the time. By the time the Maru docked, he was literally swinging from the railing and pipes.
The airlock opened, and Rommie entered the Maru with a blindfold.
"What's that for?" Harper asked, pointing at the blindfold.
"If you saw it before we were ready, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" Rommie asked.
"Oh, a real surprise!" Harper turned around, and Rommie blindfolded him. "This isn't one of those surprises that involves chocolate-covered avatars, grape-flavored sparkly purple babes and feathers, is it?"
"You'll see," Rommie replied mysteriously.
Rommie took Harper's hand and guided him out of the Maru and Hangar Deck. She walked him around the ship and spun him a couple of times so Harper wouldn't know where he was going.
"We've been walking around forever, Rom-doll," Harper complained. "I want my surprise!"
"We're almost there, Harper," Rommie assured him as they rounded the corner of the stretch of corridor that led to his quarters. She stopped him. "We're here."
"Finally."
"Turn to your right and walk forward."
Harper did so. "Can I take off this blindfold now?"
"Wait." Rommie walked over to Beka, Trance and Dylan in the corner of the room. "Take it off now."
Harper pulled off the blindfold and glanced around. The room was filled with light pink ballet themed décor, from frilly pink sheets on his bed to a ballet slipper lamp to a pink satin rug on the floor in front of the bed.
"Welcome home, Harper," Beka said, with a smirk.
"Uh, thanks, Bek." Harper was slightly confused. "Trance, did you redecorate?"
Trance giggled. "You could say that."
"Where's my surprise party? I don't see a cake or any scantily clad babes..." Harper looked at his surroundings more closely. "Hey, that looks a lot like the set up of my quarters."
Rommie nodded.
Harper turned around and stuck his head out of the room to see the door number. "These *are* my quarters! What in the hell did you do?!?"
"I removed 23 pounds of pathogenic garbage and accidentally created superglue. Then, I had to dispose of your furniture," Rommie replied.
"Where are my specs and my parts? You didn't throw my stuff away, did you?" Harper was panicking.
Rommie replied, "No, I didn't. But you must earn back your possessions."
"How?" Harper asked.
"By keeping this room spotless for six months. You can have your possessions back gradually."
"What about my clothes? I can't run around naked."
"Look in your closet," Dylan said.
Harper walked over to his closet. He found High Guard uniforms and several pink garments. He pulled one out. "What's this?"
"It's a nightgown that came with the furniture. You can wear those when you sleep until our next stop at a drift."
"And that is when?"
"Three weeks from the day after tomorrow," Dylan replied with a sideways glance at Rommie. "If we're running on time."
The color drained from Harper's face as he looked from his quarters' new furnishings to the nightgown to his crewmates. "Man, the next few weeks are gonna suck!"
To Melissa's Fan Fiction
Home