TITLE: Pay Up
AUTHOR: Michael J. Gallagher ( mikejoe@odyssey.net )
CHARACTERS: Harper/Rommie
SYNOPSIS: Harper loses a bet with Rommie
DISCLAIMER: GENE RODDENBERRY'S ANDROMEDA is owned by Tribune. I am not getting paid for this, so please do not sue me.
COMMENT: I'd hoped to use this as a "B" story in a longer fic, but (a) I wanted to post something and (b) I don't know how that longer story will go anyway ... yet ... and (c) I recently got clobbered in chess club (again), so ...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Check mate!" The _Andromeda's_ hologram didn't sound as if she was gloating, but her smile made up for it.
"What?" Harper peered at the screen. "Where?"
"The knight."
"Oh, crap. I didn't see that."
"Now, about the terms of our wager ... "
"Uhh, yeah .... want to make it five out of six?"
"All right," the hologram said, "I guess I can shut down the virtual reality matrix in my AI core ... "
"HEY!"
" .... I mean, nobody really _has_ to use it; you can just run standard diagnostic programs .... "
"All right! You win." Harper took his connecting cable out of his tool belt. He plugged one end into the console and brought the other towards the data port in his neck. "But you promised I had a choice."
"I did? Oh, yes, I did. Very well; I shall honor our agreement. Now, jack in like a good boy .... "
**************************
"Captain on deck!"
"As you were," Dylan said automatically as he and Tyr came on to the bridge. The _Andromeda's_ captain and the Nietzschean mercenary were almost at the bottom of the ramp by the time their brains finished processing what they had seen and heard. They turned on their heels and went back up the ramp, to the engineering station, if only to be sure they had not gone bonkers.
Seamus Zelazny Harper, (Acting) Chief Engineer of the High Guard Cruiser _Andromeda Ascendant,_ was dressed in a black High Guard uniform; he had also shaved and had his hair cut, combed, and slicked down. He looked the very model of a High Guard officer .... exactly the opposite of his normal appearance.
"Mr. Harper .... " Dylan said.
"Yes, sir." Harper _sounded_ like the very model of a High Guard officer, too.
"Um, you _are_ wearing a High Guard uniform, yes?"
"Yes, sir."
"Ok, I'm not crazy. Is there an explanation for this?"
"Yes, sir, there is, sir. The ship's AI and I had a friendly wager over the outcome of a chess game. I lost, sir."
"He lost five times, actually," Rommie, the ship's android avatar, said as she came up the ramp. "I downloaded the protocols directly into his brain and integrated them into his personality matrix. He will have no choice but to act and dress like a proper High Guard officer for a week."
"And may I say, this uniform is extremely uncomfortable, sir," Harper said. "I look forward to burning it seven days hence, sir."
"I see .... " Dylan turned to Rommie. "Out of curiosity, what would you have had to do if he'd won?"
"Irrelevant, Dylan. He never had a chance."
Rommie's image appeared on one of the big main screens. "Personally, I think I shouldn't have left him a choice."
"Oh, yes?" Rommie said. She looked Harper over. "You're right; the little fella would look good in drag."
"Maybe next time." The image vanished and the android went back down the ramp.
Dylan cleared his throat. "Um, Mr. Harper .... "
"Yes, sir?"
"For the record, you and Rommie have never been ... intimate, have you?"
"I haven't had the pleasure, sir."
"And yet she has enough leverage over you to do this?" Tyr asked.
"Yes, sir, she does."
Dylan and Tyr exchanged looks over Harper's head.
"Mr. Harper," Dylan said, "Seamus, friend. Try and take this as constructive criticism .... "
"You're a narfing idiot!" Dylan and Tyr chorused.
"Yes, sir," Harper said. "The original romantic moron, that's me, sir."
THE END
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