TITLE: A Night on the Town
AUTHOR: Michael J. Gallagher aka MikeJoe ( mikejoe@odyssey.net )
SYNOPSIS: Harper and Rommie have a double-date, but only one of them has a good time
DISCLAIMER: Andromeda is owned by Tribune; I am just getting a few more ideas shoe-horned out of my head. It's an answer to a challenge posted by luzmaria (
http://www.slipstreambbs.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000697.html ) and also a follow-up to another fic I wrote, "Love Stinks"
++++++++++++++++
**Eclectic Groupings**
*Single, Genetically unmodified male human engineer and attractive female android companion ISO single human or human-offshoot female and male android companion. Willing to double date. Mailbox # ..... *
--Galactic Personals ad, CY 10,088
"Ok, Rommie, as your friend, I have to say -- and I hope you take this constructively -- that you are completely out of your mind." Beka Valentine leaned against the supporting pillar in the corner of the android maintenance bay that had become, for lack of a better term, Rommie's walk-in closet and changing room, lined with clothes racks and with a makeup table and mirror at one end.
The blue-haired android with olive skin and deep brown eyes continued to adjust her makeup. "So my main A. I. keeps telling me. *But I haven't heard any direct orders telling me to stop, have I*?"
The ship's voice didn't answer her. Beka sighed; 'So, *I'm* the heavy, I guess?' she thought.
"Ok," Beka said. "At least tell me why you went along with Harper's hair-brained scheme."
"Actually, it's more like our scheme; Harper mentioned it in jest during our visit to Kepler's World ... "
"Oh, yes, where you and Harper arranged for Dylan to be swept off his feet by, what was her name ... ?"
"Foreign Minister Jeryll Ingvani."
"Yeah, her. Does Dylan still want to kill you for that?"
"He's calmed down considerably, Beka, although if the minister stopped sending him love notes, he'd have an easier time forgetting about it."
"Prob-ab-ly! But this is off topic, Rommie. So, you and Harper came up with this ..... ?"
"And it stuck in our minds ever since. And with everything we've been through in recent weeks ..... " Rommie sighed. "Even starships need a break. Meeting new people is one way to do it."
"Still, a personal ad? Double dating with *Harper*?"
"Why not?" Satisfied with her face, Rommie opened a drawer and fished for a pair of earrings. "Think about it Beka -- what's the one area where Harper and I have had no success?"
"Tact? Controlling your temper? Humility?"
"Try connecting with our own kinds." Rommie found an acceptable pair of earrings and proceeded to put them on. "We're both one-for-one at getting screwed over by someone who showed some interest in us. The only way in which Harper's situation is better than mine is he didn't have to choose between killing Satrina and having a life with her."
"I'm sorry. For both of you and Harper."
Rommie smiled. "It's ok, Beka. Anyway, this personal ad business seems like a good way to investigate more possibilities. And that our respondents are also here on Sheherezade Drift when we are makes it very convenient. Why not go through with it?"
"I see your point, Rommie. But still ... a night on the town with Harper .... ?"
"He's my friend, Beka. What am I supposed to do with a friend?"
"Point taken. And I gotta admit, you and he have been fighting a lot less since you got back from Earth. I don't know why I'm surprised you want to hang out with him."
"Hey, it's not a 'shriller raid' on Drago-Kazov barracks, but it'll do."
"I don't want to know what that means."
Earrings on, Rommie studied herself one more time in the mirror. Then she stood, grabbed a silver bomber jacket off a rack, and put it on over her slinky knee-length black dress. She turned to Beka. "How do I look?"
"Dressed to thrill!" Beka said, smiling. "Malekind doesn't stand a chance."
"Then I have my first officer's approval to proceed?" Rommie asked, grinning.
"Absolutely! Go get 'em, girlfriend .... "
**********
Beka walked Rommie to the docking airlock. They got there just as Harper arrived with Dylan. Harper had slicked up a little -- he'd buttoned down his shirt and tucked it in -- and Dylan ....
.... Dylan was wearing a multi-colored track suit even louder than the blue one he'd had on a few weeks back.
Beka stopped in her tracks, raising her hand as if to shield her eyes. "Wait a minute, wait a minute!" She fished a pair of shades out of a pocket and put them on. "There."
Dylan rolled his eyes. "It's an approved variation of a High Guard officer's uniform. *And* I like it."
"*And* you're making me look good," Harper said.
"Although some of the offers we've had for you to do kids' birthday parties are pretty decent," Beka added.
"I guess taste was another casualty of The Fall," Dylan groused.
Harper's eyes finally caught Rommie. "WHOA! Hottie alert! Hottie alert! You look great, Darlin'!"
"You're not too repulsive yourself, Harper."
"Oo! You wound me, but I forgive you. Say, Rom Doll, wanna forget this double-date stuff and ..... ?"
"Harrrrr-perrrrrrrr ..... "
"Ok, ok, just kiddin'! Shall we?"
"Let's."
Beka and Dylan watched Harper and Rommie go through the airlock.
"Our babies are leaving the nest," Beka said with a mock sniffle.
"They'll be back," Dylan assured.
"And there is no failure if it leads to Harper finding a mate," Tyr said, coming up behind them. Wearing his own shades, Tyr turned to Dylan. "So, my captain, is this our new weapon for blinding enemy sensors?"
Dylan sighed. "Andromeda! Tyr and Beka have the con for now; I have to go change .... "
**********
"When are they going to get here, Rommie?" Harper pivoted around on the stool at the luncheon counter of the diner where they were supposed to meet. "I mean, the message said 1930 and it's what .... "
Rommie was standing next to him. "1945. But it's a busy station with an .... eccentric layout. A delay is not unexpected."
"Maybe .... maybe it's a trick, or a trap, or -- "
"HARPER! Calm down. We're just going to meet these people, talk, and visit some night spots. That is your intention, yes?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Besides, the man who invented the shriller and tested it in daring guerilla raids on DK barracks as a boy should be able to handle a semi-blind date he set up."
"Are you ever going to forget that?"
She smiled. "Of course not."
Harper sighed. "I guess I'm nervous. I've never done anything like this."
"Neither have I. But look at all we've been through together since you came aboard, Harper, and we've come out alive. In comparison, this is nothing. You shouldn't worry about it; I don't see what could possibly go -- " Rommie suddenly broke off, stiffening. "No, it's not -- I don't believe it -- !"
Rommie spun to face the entrance; Harper followed her gaze. Two people were coming towards them. The man, almost two-meters tall and definitely a prime male specimen, had to be the android part of the duo. The girl .... she looked to be about Harper's size and age, with red hair, freckles, and slim, almost no curves at all. But she had green eyes and a nice, round face.
"Are you Seamus?" she said nervously, coming up to them.
"Uh, Harper," Harper said, his voice bouncing up a register and back. "Everyone calls me 'Harper.'"
"Everyone calls me 'Sprig,' but I'd rather go by Keelless. Keelless McDonald. And this is .... "
"Michael," Rommie said; she looked like she was going to be ill.
"Hello, Andromeda," the male android said almost pleasantly. "I see you haven't changed much."
"*Thank you.*" Her voice dropped the temperature to barely above freezing.
"Rommie, you know this guy?"
"Yes, Harper. This is Michael, also known as the avatar of the Siege Perilous class destroyer Scales of Justice. You could say we've met .... "
********
"So how did you end up with a ship's avatar?" Harper asked. He and Kelley had taken a booth. He felt nervous but hoped to strike up some conversation.
"We salvaged the ship last year," Kelley said, about at ease as Harper was. "It was seriously beat up; the IS network was fried and the mainframe was good for little more than a giant's paperweight. The avatar was the only thing that looked reparable. I made his reclamation my pet project; took about six months."
"Wow."
"Well, I had to scrounge for parts, didn't I? We were going to sell him when we got him working, but Mom and Dad found him so helpful, we've kept him. He's part of the family now."
"So, your folks run your ship?"
"Yes, the *Discovery,* although we have a home on Taylor's world."
"Nice place; hear they have good waves there."
"'Waves'?"
"I'm a surfer."
"Hold it -- not just the *Andromeda's* engineer but a surfer!? I feel like I'm in the presence of royalty here!"
Harper squirmed a bit. Although he frequently tooted his own horn, he was unaccustomed to actually being admired. "I'm nobody special."
"Not from where I sit."
"No, I'm just a mudfoot who knows how to fix things."
"Hey, my feet aren't exactly clean. Mom and I would stay on TW all year round, but dad wants to be out in space." She shrugged. "Still, I mean, it's not dull, is it? I know some girls who've never left Taylor and they're just ..... dull. Know what I mean?"
"I guess. I grew up on Earth, Boston sector refugee camp. When .... I wanted to leave, I didn't have to go offworld. There were other places where the Dragons weren't so heavy-handed. I could've gone to Canaveral or Kourou or even Baikonur and made a decent living working the spaceports. But when you had a clear night in Beacon Hill -- and we got 'em once in a while -- you could see the stars. They were so bright; they seemed to be calling to me." Harper shrugged, surprised at himself. "I've never told anyone this. Why am I telling you?"
"No idea," Kelley said, smiling. "But I know what you mean. Our house overlooks the ocean and when the sun hits it just right at sunset, it looks like the galaxy. And when you start mapping slipstream routes between those points of lights, Oh, Daaaad, when are we spacing again?"
Harper laughed. "I know the feeling; that describes my last week on Infinity. I not only did the slipstream-routes-for-reflected-sunlight thing, but everyone I met looked like someone from the crew. Yep, gotta get back to the *Andromeda.*"
"What you're doing ... it sounds exciting."
"Eh, I wouldn't mind a little boredom now and again. Being shot at every other Thursday gets a little old after a while. So, you're the engineer?"
"Well, engineer's mate, but mainly the navigator -- I plot the courses and dad flies them."
A waitress came up to them. "Are you set to order, or do you want to wait?"
"Uh .... " Harper looked at Kelley; she nodded. "No, we'll order now," Harper said. He tabbed a control stud on the table; holographic menus appeared in the air in front of him and Kelley.
**********
{They seem to be getting along well,} Michael said, pitching his voice lower than the audible registers of most organic creatures. But Rommie, sitting two stools away from him at the luncheon counter, could hear him.
{Yes, Harper and your Kelley seem much more relaxed now.} 'Unfortunately,' Rommie added to herself. When she'd become aware of Michael's presence, she'd hoped Harper would chicken out or, failing that, he and Kelley would be incompatible. No such luck. Rommie felt a peculiar sensation behind her forehead; she wondered if that was what a headache felt like.
{So, we are supposed to "get to know each other" and "enjoy ourselves,"} Michael said.
{Yes, I believe those are the mission parameters,} Rommie answered.
{Very well. So, How have you been, Andromeda? You seem to be ..... intact.}
{Yes, I am. My sympathies for the loss of your ship self.}
{Thank you. I am curious, though. I seem to recall that you were most adamant that you would never have a humanoid avatar, and anyone trying to "foist" one on you would, how did you put it, "try to navigate the slipstream in a leaky pressure suit"?}
{In the first place, you are exaggerating. I merely said I saw no use for an avatar and could perform my duties ably without one.}
{If you say so.}
{I do. And since you asked so "nicely," I will have you know Harper himself made this body for me.}
{Ohhhhh ..... I see.}
{No, you don't see!}
{You're not fooling anyone, Andromeda.}
{I am not trying to fool anybody, Scales of Justice, although in your case, it wouldn't be difficult. I will have you know Mr. Harper is my friend, colleague, and shipmate. Nothing more!}
{I see. Merely a friend and crew member. So when he doesn't fall to his knees and worship you as you demand -- }
{*I NEVER!*}
{ -- or heap praise on you at regular intervals -- }
{Slander! Baseless lies!}
{ -- he is not rebuked or locked out of your VR matrix or -- }
{YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED! Still the arrogant, self-centered "Divine's gift to femalekind."}
{At least I am honest about who and what I am, unlike the vain, egotistical, stuffy, and self-deceiving Glorious Headaches I used to know.}
{You take that -- !!}
"Hey!" the guy behind the counter said. "Are you going to come to blows or something?" He hadn't heard a word of their conversation, but could see their body language become more and more belligerent.
"No," Rommie and Michael chorused.
"We meant no offense," Michael added.
"Well, I run a good place," the man said. "I don't mind having A. I.s here, but if you have a problem, take it outside."
"I will leave," Rommie said.
"Yes, you do that," Michael said.
Rommie signaled to Harper; he looked up from his meal -- he was seriously enjoying himself with Kelley -- and nodded.
Rommie left the diner and wandered a short distance down the corridor, where she found a window overlooking the *Andromeda Ascendant.* She opened a channel to her ship self, initiating a tight-beam coded transmission:
--**GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!**
--Calm down, her mainframe answered. --Is being with Michael really that bad?
--Why don't I tell me? Rommie responded, dumping her memories of her conversation into her mainframe.
--It's *that* bad, the mainframe replied.
--I'd say worse, actually. But I don't want to just walk out on Harper. Do I think I could, uhm .... ?
--I'll talk to Dylan and see what I can do; no promises ....
**********
"Dylan?" Andromeda's hologram appeared on the Command Deck in front of Dylan (now dressed in a more conservative High Guard uniform) and Beka (her shades nowhere to be seen).
"Yes, Rommie?" Dylan said.
"I've been reviewing the courier messages we've received since arriving; we really have a lot of obligations. Maybe I should recall Harper and my humanoid body?"
"I don't think so, Rommie. The crew deserves a break, Harper most of all after all he's been through. So do you. You and he can have as much time as you need. Our business can wait a day or two."
"Are you sure?" The hologram looked pained. "Uhm, also, there's a lot of work to do around the ship. Harper should be back; it's his duty as engineer to oversee this."
"Would be if he were High Guard, but as I have been reminded for 19 months, he's not High Guard. He can have his fun. I insist."
"I see."
"Rommie?" Beka asked. "Just who are ... you ... and Harper meeting with right now?"
"Well, uhm," the hologram said, "Harper is finishing a meal with a nice young lady named Kelley McDonald .... "
"Off the *Discovery,*" Beka said. "That's a good ship, good people. Nothing to worry about there."
"I'm glad you think so."
"And, um, your humanoid body's new friend is .... ?"
"An old friend, actually. Michael."
Dylan closed his eyes. "*The Scales of Justice.*"
"The same," Holo Rommie said .... straining to smile.
"Andromeda," Dylan said, "engage privacy mode."
"Are you -- ?"
"Just do it. Please."
"Privacy mode engaged." The hologram vanished.
"I just want to tell this story without being 'corrected,'" Dylan said.
"So, I guess Michael and Rommie have a history?" Beka asked.
"You could say that."
"Oil and water?"
"More like matter and anti-matter. Listen, Captain Valentine, and you will hear about how the Commonwealth almost fell without any help from the Nietzscheans ..... "
**********
Rommie was disappointed when her ship self reported no joy with Dylan, but saw an opening when Harper and Kelley -- almost arm-in-arm -- and Michael -- sadly, still functional -- emerged from the diner. There was some doubt as to what to do next; Kelley suggested dancing. Rommie concealed her smile; Harper absolutely hated dancing, preferring to be a wallflower at diplomatic functions.
"What kind of dancing?" Harper asked.
"Disco," Kelley answered. "Retro and ancient dance club. There's a place just in the next section."
Harper smiled. "Cool! Let's bring it!"
Rommie's facial servos almost overloaded as she tried to keep her face from falling. "You want to go? I thought you hated dancing, Harper."
"Well, that ballroom stuff, yeah, Rommie, but back on Earth, some niet had an attack of kindness and set up a dance club in the ghetto. Got shut down two months later, but man, I danced the floor off many a night. Never got back into it."
"Now's your chance," Kelley said. She extended her elbow. "Shall we?"
Harper hooked his arm around hers, and they headed down the corridor.
Michael and Rommie followed behind. Rommie wondered if there was such a thing as aspirin for androids.
**********
Rommie might have endured her time at the dance club better if Harper and Kelley hadn't insisted on her and Michael joining them on the dance floor. Harper's dancing was a bit stiff, but he and Kelley were moving to the music in no time; even worse, both humans seemed to have a lot of stamina. She sniffed a chance of escape when the music slowed down, but those hopes were dashed as Harper and Kelley embraced each other and settled into a slow shuffle. But she would die before slow-dancing with Michael, so the androids watched from the sidelines .... no closer than eighteen feet from each other if they could help it.
Harper and Kelley bounced on and off the dance floor until closing time, laughing and talking and sharing Sparky Colas.
"So, I guess this is the end?" Rommie said, trying not to sound hopeful, as the foursome left with the crowd.
"Big day tomorrow," Michael added, studiously not making eye contact with Rommie.
"No, wait!" Harper said. "There's that twenty-four hour coffee shop, what's it's name ... ?"
"I know the place!" Kelley said, smiling.
Rommie began to wonder if her headache was going to split her head.
She spent the next two hours, twenty seven minutes and thirty-eight seconds staying as far from Michael as possible (and he returned the favor) while Harper and Kelley, huddled in a booth, sipped gourmet coffee (her treat) and traded stories of their adventures; the *Discovery,* it seemed, had been in almost as many scrapes as the *Andromeda.* Then Kelley's father radioed her to come back; a client had moved his shipping timetable up unexpectedly and she had to come back to get the ship ready.
"Duty calls," Kelley said sadly.
"I know the feeling," Harper said; she and Kelley got out of the booth.
"Well, it was nice meeting you," Harper said.
"Likewise," Kelley said; she leaned over and actually kissed Harper on the cheek. "Take care. Come, Michael."
Michael dutifully followed his mistress out; when he was outside of Rommie's awareness, tension she hadn't been aware of drained out of her body.
"You ok, Rom Doll?" Harper asked, worried.
"Wha -- ? Oh, no Harper, just ok need a recharge don'tworryaboutit. Let's head back to our ship."
**********
"Clear all moorings," Dylan ordered. "Beka, whenever you're ready."
Beka nodded; she worked the flight controls, and the mighty starship began to back away from the drift. Harper watched it recede on one of the big screens, a wistful look on his face.
"So, you had a good time last night," Dylan said.
"Oh, it was great!" Harper said. "Wasn't it, Rommie?"
"A once-in-a-lifetime experience, I'm sure," Rommie said.
Beka's console beeped. "Hey! Harper? Just downloaded a message from the Discovery. Looks like their route for the next few months, and at first blush, it looks like we'll have a few more chances to run into them."
"Really!?" Harper peeked over her shoulder. "Yes! There is a god, and he likes me!"
"Well, Mr. Harper," Dylan said, "as long as you have some divine good will on your side, would you take it down to engineering?"
"Consider me there, Dylan!" Whistling happily, Harper went up the ramp and left the bridge.
**KLUNK!**
Dylan and Beka strolled away from their stations, positioning themselves on either side of the ship's avatar, who had fallen, face first, to the deck.
"Dylan, can I be erased?" Rommie asked the rivets.
"No," Dylan said.
"Why not?"
"Paperwork."
"Good answer."
THE END
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