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GAMES and TRIVIA |
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| On this page, we offer a few games,
playable right here, for those with lots of time on their hands. Small and simple but not so easy. Great time-wasters!
Some are java based and your computer will need to have java enabled for them to work. You should find java in your browser tools/internet-options/advanced. We cannot guarantee success in all cases. Also, sites can disappear over-night; we have no control over them! (Some features on this page may not work with browsers other than Internet Explorer. Sorry.) We have also provided links to sites which provide free games, some playable on the site, others which can be downloaded and installed so that they may be played offline. There are many game playing sites on the web. If you do not see anything on this page that interests you, use our Web-Search page to find them. We also include some items which we can only describe, loosely, as trivia. These might include jokes or interactive items not actually a game. Different things may appear as we find them. Why include these things? you ask. Well, why not?! |
You have one blank square. Click adjacent letters until all are in alphabetical order. Good luck!
Occasionally, you can find a site which allows
you to download games which you then install on your computer. You can then play
them offline.
This can be very handy for those who are not on the internet.
Download onto
disk, on the club computers, or get friends to do it for you on theirs. (Many of these will fit on a
single floppy disk).
123 solitaire (gives you twelve game versions, complete with digital sound effects)
Mahjong
Solitaire (You'll
find this addictive!) There are supposed to be other games
here also but they will not load properly for viewing. You might
be lucky on the download
wingames (Collection of 7 games. Includes Othello, Blip, Yahtzee, Tic-Tac-Toe etc)
Alhademic
Balls (Lots
of multi-coloured balls to play with, plus music.)
("What is life? Just a game", says the author.)
Netris
(An advanced form of Tetris.
Customise-able features, single or two player mode,
animation, sound etc.)
BlockCad
(A Lego game. Get it for your
grand-kids).
(If you play with it, who's to know?)
Crazy
Marbles (Colourful board
game. Play the computer, or against a friend,
in split screen mode)
Space Monopoly (A monopoly style game)
PokerDice (Roll them for highest score)
Futurebit
(Five games here. Get what you like!
Futurebit itself lets you use your own
.bmp or .jpeg graphics in a jigsaw puzzle)
X
Kite (Fly a kite on your
computer. Puts a new dimension to the expression,
"Go fly a kite." Needs DirectX 7 & Direct3D compatible graphics
card.)
Connect
Four (A
Tic-Tac-Toe type game but different. Play Vs your computer or others
via
internet.)
LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3-1/2 inch floppy
... you just hoped nobody ever found out
(Thanks Verna).
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human... to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
—————————
Here a few of the odd things which have been said in courts of law from time to time.
Q What is your date of birth?
A July fifteenth.
Q What year?
A Every year.
Q What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
A Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q This Myasthenia Gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A Yes.
Q And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A I forget.
Q You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Q How old is your son, the one living with you?
A Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q How long has he lived with you?
A Forty-five years.
Q What was the first thing your husband said to you when
he woke up that morning?
A He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q And why did that upset you?
A My name is Susan.
Q Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A We both do.
Q Voodoo?
A We do.
Q You do?
A Yes, voodoo.
Q Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q So the date of conception (of the baby) was August eighth?
A Yes.
Q And what were you doing at that time?
One lovely evening, the famous detective, Sherlock Holmes
and his trusty friend, Doctor Watson, went on a camping trip.
After dinner and a few glasses of wine, they retired and went to sleep.
A couple of hours passed and Sherlock Holmes awoke and shortly
thereafter woke Doctor Watson. He said:
"Watson, look up and tell me what you see."
"Well, Holmes, I see millions of stars in the sky." Watson replied.
"And what does that tell you?" Holmes asked.
Dr Watson thought for a moment and then said:
"Well, Holmes, astronomically it tells me that there are billions of stars and possibly millions of galaxies in the universe.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I can deduce that it is approximately quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, it symbolises that God is magnificent and that we
humans are small and insignificant in the universe.
And meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
To which Sherlock Holmes replied:
"No, Watson. It means none of those things. What it does mean is that some swine has stolen our tent!"
(Probably the despicable and diabolical arch-criminal, Moriarty!)
Then there was the man who went into his local Police Station to report his bicycle stolen.
Local Cop said he would look into it but a few days later told our man that there was no sign of bicycle and no suspects.
He suggested that the deprived owner might try standing in the town square and
reciting the Ten Commandments in a loud voice, in the hope that this might be
heard by the offender, prick his conscience and cause him to return the bike.
A couple of days later, the cop saw the owner riding his bicycle along the street, stopped him and asked how he got it back.
Said the bicycle owner, "I tried your suggestion about the Ten Commandments and I was standing in the square, reciting loudly.
When I got to the bit about not committing adultery, I suddenly remembered where I'd left the bike!"
Two ladies found themselves in the waiting-room at the Pearly Gates.
The following conversation ensued:-
How did you die?"
"I froze to death."
"What a terrible way to go! How did it happen?"
"I was trapped in a very cold place. It was pretty bad at first, my fingers and toes were freezing and it was quite distressing, but then I got drowsy and next thing I knew, here I was.
So how did you die?"
"Well, I died from a massive heart attack.
It happened like this; I suspected my husband of having an affair and I went
home unexpectedly one day to catch him at it. I was quite sure his girl-friend
was there but when I rushed in, he was alone and looking all innocent.
I couldn't believe there was no other woman there, so I rushed around the house,
searching. I ran up the stairs, no one up there. I ran around all the downstairs
rooms, no one there. I ran down the stairs into the cellar, no one there either.
I was in an awful state, so worked up, you know.
I ran back up the stairs, cellar to ground floor, then upstairs to search there
again and while I was rushing up there, I had the heart attack and found myself
here."
Said the frozen one, "Well, if you had looked in the freezer first, neither of us would be here!"
We understand that God has been very concerned lately. He sent an angel down to check on all the people. The angel reported back and said, sorrowfully, "Only 5% of the people are good. The other 95%, you should be very worried about."
God was not prepared to accept this assessment so he sent a second angel down to
check on the people.
Angel 2 reported back and said, "Angel 1 was quite correct. You should be
very worried about the other 95%."
So, God decided to send an Email message to the good 5% of the people.
Know what it said? Click here.
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife.
It read:- "Dear Wife. You must realise that you are 54 years old, and can
appreciate that I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy.
I am otherwise happy with you as wife and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my
18-year old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
Your Husband."
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him.
It read as follows:- "Dear Husband. You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year old pool boy.
Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more than 54 goes into 18.
Don't wait up.
Your Wife."
(Thanks to V.... for this one).
The time to relax is when you do not have time for it.
Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties: Very active and highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Childrium for prolonged period of time.
Usage: Possibly good methane source. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
A passenger plane was about to take off when a small fault developed.
It was going to take about an hour to fix, so it was decided to keep the passengers on board.
To keep them happy, the flight attendant was instructed to offer them a drink (probably not an Australian airline).
There were two men seated side by side, one a doctor, the other a minister.
At the offer of a drink, the doctor requested a scotch and water.
When the minister was offered a drink, he drew himslf up indignantly and said, "I'd rather commit adultery than accept a drink!"
Whereupon the doctor spoke up and said, "Just a minute, I want to cancel the drink. I didn't know there was an option!"
COLLAGE FACE
A face made up of mismatched parts.(If you want to be insulting).
Little Julie was digging a hole in her back yard.
Neighbour saw this over the fence and they had a conversation.
"Why are you digging a hole in the backyard, Julie?"
Julie, still digging and without looking up; "I'm burying my goldfish."
Neighbour; "That's a big hole you are digging, Julie. Why do you need such a big hole to bury your goldfish?"
Julie, still digging; "Because it's inside your cat!"
A certain President of a certain country (both of which shall remain nameless), was addressing a group of school-children.
He asked if any of them could give him the definition of the word 'tragedy'.
Said one little girl, "If my best friend was riding her bicycle in the street and
she was hit by a car and killed, that would be a tragedy, wouldn't it?"
The great man said "No, my dear, that would not be a tragedy. That would be an accident."
So the children thought for a while, then one little boy said, "If a bus carrying fifty school-children went over a cliff and they were all killed, that would be a tragedy, wouldn't it?"
"no, my boy!" said the great man, "that would not be a tragedy, that would be a great loss."
So the children thought a while longer, then an older boy shot his hand up and said, "Sir, if the President and his family were flying in the Presidential jet and it was hit by a missile and they were all killed, that would be a tragedy, wouldn't it?"
"YES!" cried the President. "That would be a tragedy!"
"Tell us, my lad, how did you arrive at the correct definition of the word 'tragedy'?"
Said the clever boy, "Well, I figured it wouldn't be an accident. And it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss!"
Only joking, honest.
WHAT IS OLD ????
Some of you can relate to some of these glamorous pointers about being old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"
"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.
Thanks, V....
A gynaecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and become an auto mechanic.
He found out from the local technical college what was involved.
He signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, learned all he
could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the
Gynaecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with
tremendous skill.
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting."
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."
The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler."
V...., again!
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying: "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so......... Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still a MENSA candidate. OK, relax, clear your mind and....... begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster? The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said "bread", go to question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink? Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It maybe that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as "Children's World". If you said, "water" then proceed to question three.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from? Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks", what the heck are you still doing here reading these questions????? Dang..... If you said "glass", then go on to question four.
4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"? Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. ...... If you said, "You don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next question.
5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour? Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree", you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.
6. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver? Answer: Oh, for heaven sake! It was YOU. Read the first line!!!
Thanks, Gill
Hey - does this make you understand?
Low Priority
This is quite amazing!
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
ceehiro
From Verna. (Perpahs I shluod wirte eveyrthnig lkie tihs.I'ts a lot esaeir).
Here is some fine philosophy from Mary:
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
No one is listening until you fart.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
Some days you are the pigeon; some days you are the statue.
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Thanks, Mary
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns & toast for $1.99.
'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'
'Then, I'll have to charge you two dollars & forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.
'YES!!' stated the waitress.
'I'll take the special then.' my wife said.
'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home.
DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!
We've been around the block more than once!
The above from Verna
