Disclaimer: Xena, Gabrielle and Ares... do I really
need to say it? Oh, and Argo too. They'll be returned unharmed. Even Gabrielle's
tongue. It's not like I'm holding them hostage. Hmm, there's an idea...
Nah, been done.
Sex/subtext/violence, etc. Nope. Nil. Nada. Mei you. Completely clean...
well there is a little allusion to nudity, but come on, you don't see Big
Bird wearing any clothes, do you?
Rated: G (Can you believe it?)
If you don't think Xena and Ares should be a couple... *nearly everyone
runs for the hills. (One person looks back and turns into a pillar of salt)*
...bye?
Er. Happy Valentine's Day?
Warning: Love story written when in a very euphoric mood. Read with a soft teddy in hand, and prepare to hurl.
Gabrielle frowned at the Warrior Princess, who had just returned from a quick bath holding a furry object.
"What in Tartarus is that?"
"Not sure," Xena rubbed the object's side, "but it looks like a mockery of a bear."
"But it's pink."
"I know, disgusting huh?"
The blond woman touched the toy, "It's nice and soft though. Where'd you get it?"
"Ares gave it to me for no apparent reason."
"Ahh!" Gabrielle poked her friend, "A token, huh?"
Xena rolled her eyes, lifting her slick black tresses from her neck to wring out the moisture, "Have I ever told you that you have a sick mind?"
The bard giggled, "I think it's cute."
"And a hopeless romantic too."
"He really didn't explain why?"
"Ah, well, I had just come out of the water..."
Gabrielle burst out laughing, at which Xena groaned. Then, the azure pools grudgingly yielded a smile. "You have no idea how red he got. It was rather amusing."
"Rather," the bard winked.
Xena slung her bedroll and bags over the saddle, and began stroking Argo's mane, attempting to remove the burrs the horse seemed to have been eating, "So anyways, his ears practically began smoking, and he thrust the thing at me, mumbled something, and disappeared."
"What did he say?"
"Something about 'Happy Valentine's Day'. Does that make sense to you?"
"No, I wonder what it means."
Xena swung herself into the saddle, and squeezed lightly with her knees. As Argo began picking her way through the dense underbrush toward the path, the Warrior Princess gave her free rein, and returned to studying the strange bear. The best thing about horses is that you can trust them not to walk into a tree. Unless they fell asleep, of course, but what was the possibility of that?
"You know, it is kind of cute."
"By the gods! Xena, the mighty Warrior Princess, just uttered the dire word 'cute'! It's a sign! A sign heralding the end of the world!"
"Funny, Gabrielle, funny."
"Wait 'til you hear my next story, Xena, then laugh. What do you think of the title 'The Warrior Princess' Guide to Puppy Love and Pink Bears'?"
"Don't you dare."
"Oh, come one! The audience always likes the romantic stories."
"No."
"Can you stop me?"
"Can you talk without a tongue?"
"Oh my God. Is that a petrified teddy bear? The ancient Greeks made teddy bears?" the archeologist's voice was pure incredulity.
"It's pink too... and look, there's a... plastic tag?"
"What? They didn't have plastic! Let me look at that," Dr. Randall stared at the faint words dumbly.
"'Happy Valentine's Day, Love.'," a digger read over Dr. Randall's shoulder. Stunned, the man glanced at Dr. Randall.
"English? Buried in the five thousand year stratum? What?"
The archeologist's jaw set grimly, "Alright!" he yelled, "Who's been contaminating the site?"
finished Feb. 14, 2002