OPERATION: CABLE-TV (Crazy Arrogant Baby Loses Every Television Viewer)

mini-synopsis: the KND enter into a bargain with a cable television station.

summary:

the "Kid-tacular Kid Channel's" satellites keep getting shot down, and Mr. B, the owner of the station is not happy.  he also, incidentally, looks disturbingly like an infant with a cigar.  he of course hates being called "baby". it is soon discovered that it is the KND who is destroying the satellites, because they interfere with the KND's global satellite web.  when Mr. B hears about this, he is not angered as one would assume he should be, but he is rather impressed by the KND as an organization, and offers them a tv show of their own, so they can spread their message to the world!  Numbuh One sees this as a good opportunity, and agrees, after getting assurance from Mr. B that he would be able to say whatever he wants.

which of course is a lie, as we later see the KND dressed in strange Brady Bunch-esque costumes, performing a song and dance. the KND are definitely not pleased, but soon they discover that Mr. B was not interested in giving the KND a tv show at all, he only wanted to use their global satellite web in his grand master plan to turn the whole world into babies, using his cigar, which is actually an age-changing device! this way, no one will ever call him "baby" again. (you'd think it would have been a whole lot easier to simply use it to make himself older, but whatever.) much pandemonium ensues, wherein the tv crew and stage equipment are changed into babies and low-tech versions of themselves, respectively. in the commotion, Mr. B himself gets turned into a baby, so he now not only looks, but acts like a baby. his assistants turn out to be his parents, and say they'll raise him better this time. tragedy is averted, and Numbuh One, after apologizing to the others for getting them into this mess in the first place, tosses the age-changing cigar out the window without a thought. bad move, as the DCFDTL find it....

quotable quotes:

i know every site out there's got the song and dance number...so what's one more?:
all KND: we're the Kids Next Door and this is our show / we know you're gonna love it / so here we go!
Numbuh One: "i'm Numbuh One / lets have some fun"
Numbuh Two: "i'm Numbuh Two / we've got some cool things to do"
Numbuh Three: "i'm Numbuh Three / will you play with me?"
Numbuh Four: "i'm Numbuh Four / and...I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!"

this is followed immediately by Numbuh Four's freak-out rant:
"i can't believe we're doing this! i mean--look at us--we're wearing cruddy capes! capes! is this our message?!"

Mr. B: "i am not a baby! i have a mortgage! i pay taxes! i have three ex-wives!"

bizarro's blathering: other than having minor issues with Numbuh One's surprising gullibility when he made the agreement with Mr. B, CABLE-TV is a very funny episode, with nice foreshadowing for the season finale at the end there. you'd think a show like KND wouldn't have much continuity between episodes, and most of them don't, but you see here and even more in second season that they are able to handle it quite nicely.