Warnings: Violence, Adult Situations

Spoilers: To Queen

Louis had been worried ever since Lestat came back from his harrowing ordeal in Heaven and Hell, even though he wasn't entirely certain Lestat hadn't dreamed the whole thing up. Real or imagined, though, the journey had left Lestat unbalanced, and even if he was mostly back to normal now, once in awhile symptoms would show up that would completely unnerve Lestat's favorite fledgling.

It had been one of those nights that threatened to draw Louis into the madness that lurked beneath the shadows, just waiting for something, any little thing, to tip the scales and bring it back to the surface for all to see. When he woke up that night, his heart skipped a beat for no reason. He knew something was wrong, but he wasn't sure what. He just knew it wasn't good.

He got out of bed, luckily already dressed in a black shirt that was ready to tear away at the seams and a pair of jeans that had several rips and tears with frayed edges. Lestat wasn't in bed and the door was open, but Louis could hear the television playing downstairs. Strange noises that made no sense...

Louis went to the bedroom doorway and looked out cautiously. The house was dark. None of the lights were on, but he could still make out a flickering bluish glow under the stairs. With a nervous breath, he started to descend the stairs, wincing each time a step creaked underfoot. Hopefully Lestat was downstairs and hadn't taken off, forgetting to turn off the television again. And hopefully Lestat wasn't sitting with a crazed smile and an ax in his hands, like he'd done on Halloween to scare off the trick-or-treaters. The grandfather clocked chimed loudly, counting off twelve notes. Each note brought him closer to the bottom floor, but they also made his heart race uncontrollably.

Finally Louis made it to the last step and turned the corner to find Lestat sitting in front of the television, which was the source of the flickering light. Louis gasped when he saw what was playing on the screen. Warped, deformed creatures in grotesque colors, frantically waving their hands about as strange lights played on their bodies. They couldn't form their words properly and had to make themselves known through gestures and twisted dancing. And they were all alone on a lifeless landscape, save for a few doomed rabbits and obviously fake, created animals that didn't obey the natural laws of physics.

Yes, it was serious.

Lestat was watching the Teletubbies.

Lestat's head slowly turned and stared at Louis. "Hello, chere," he said in an eerily tranquil voice. "Have a seat. You'll like these..."

Afraid to disobey one of the strongest vampires on earth, Louis slowly sat down next to him. "Lestat...are you feeling all right?"

Lestat nodded vaguely. "I'm fine, chere."

"How are we watching these now?" Louis wondered. "Aren't they only on in the morning?"

Lestat pointed at a case on the coffee table in front of them. "I have it on video."

Louis struggled for breath. It was worse, far worse than he'd suspected. Lestat hadn't accidentally happened upon these monstrosities, he'd actually sought them out! He opened his mouth to try and coax Lestat out of the room, but the other vampire suddenly jumped to his feet with a laugh.

"Get up, Louis, get up! They're doing the teletubby dance!"

Lestat pulled Louis up and made him mimic the creatures on the screen as they stepped in unison to movements that barely resembled a dance. They marched, jumped about and kept marching in place. At last they stopped the barely disguised insane ritual and hugged, and Louis was caught up in Lestat's embrace.

"That was fun!" Lestat laughed, and he plopped back down, mindlessly watching the screen again.

Louis, two shades from panic and three from just fainting outright, sat down again. He had just settled down when Lestat threw his arms into the air and screamed "tubby custard!" which paralyzed Louis with fright. All through the show he had to endure random outbursts of strange and inconceivable noises from Lestat, including "Tinky-Winky," "Dipsy," "Po," and "uh-ohhh..."

The red creature came whirring out on what looked like a souped up motor-scooter, and started to chase the other creatures around. Dipsy wore a strange green hat, La-La had an odd bouncing ball that seemed to have a mind of its own, and the purple one, obviously the leader since it was bigger, had a red bag. It must have been red because of the body parts held inside. Louis was terrified now. What were these things doing to poor Lestat's muddled mind?

All of a sudden, Tinky-Winky ran towards Po and body-slammed him, throwing him to the ground. As Po cried out, Dipsy came over and jumped up and down on Tinky-Winky, who resorted to hitting Dipsy off with his handbag. Meanwhile, La-La tossed his ball on them and started kicking them violently.

"This is a child's show?" Louis stared in absolute shock.

Blood started to flow as Po turned and pushed his face up against Tinky-Winky's throat and tore veins out, staining their bodies scarlet. Dipsy and La-La, far from being surprised, started tangling with each other, kicking and punching as well as their foam bodies would allow.

Without much warning, Tinky-Winky's head flew off! Louis narrowed his eyes. Someone was inside that suit, someone that looked oddly familiar..."Daniel?!" he cried in surprise.

Po picked up the rest of the purple costume by the feet and dumped the fledgling out, then tore his own head off. Armand stood revealed in the cute costume which slowly tore down the front to let him out. The stuffing from La-La and Dispy's fight was really flying, and pieces and chunks fell away until Louis recognized Eric and Santino caught up in a lover's spat.

"What on earth...?" Louis said lowly. He turned to look at Lestat, then screamed as loud as his lungs would allow. Lestat wasn't there anymore. Instead, it was a blue teletubby with red eyes, a bloody mouth and an ax.

"Louis!"

"Louis! Chere, open your eyes!"

Louis sat bolt upright, still screaming. When he finished blowing his lungs out, he calmed down and looked around himself. He was in bed, completely naked. His black clothes from yesterday were in the trash. Lestat was next to him, hands on his shoulders and a worried look in his eyes.

"Chere, are you all right? You were screaming like a madman!"

Louis looked up at him, then started to shake. "Oh, Lestat, it was awful! I dreamed you were watching the teletubbies, and then you became one yourself! And it was Armand and Daniel in the costumes with Eric and Santino, and you were going insane and you had an ax..."

Lestat wrapped him up in his arms and gently rocked him back and forth, whispering soothing words to him. He cast an eye at the bag in the corner of the room. Better not tell Louis he'd decided to go to Armand's costume party as a pair of teletubbies.

Louis sighed as he relaxed. It was all right. No evil teletubbies. No rotten children shows. Lestat was right here, sane and happy. It could've been worse, though. It could've been smurfs.

Lestat smiled as Louis went back to sleep, then grabbed the bag and took it down stairs where he tossed it in the old-style oven and burnt everything. He wasn't too disappointed, anyway. They could still make Armand's party a laughing stock. They could go as smurfs instead!

Upstairs, Louis started to toss and turn.

The End