Poof!

Wufei: (all sweaty and glistening, wearing only his white pants and tank top) What the--? How on earth did I get here?

Author: Mmm...must have been working out. Hello, gorgeous creature of my fantasies.

Wufei: Kisama! Whatever you did, fix it, or else! (pulls out huge sword from pants)

Author: And I thought Heero's gun in spandex was a neat trick.

Wufei: I warned you! (charges)

Author: Ack! No one said they'd be violent! (types furiously--Wufei's sword disappears and his hands are caught in those neat Oz restraints)

Wufei: (glowers) Just wait 'till I get free...

Author: (sticks her tongue out) Okay, back to the recipe...one good looking pilot, and introduce another good-looking Gundam dude. Odd wording, but okay. (waves hand again--)

Heero:...(death glare)

Author: (cringing) Um...okay...well, go ahead. Start.

Heero and Wufei exchange glances, then turn away.

Heero: (pulls out gun from spandex) Omae o korosu--

Author: Eek! (again typing--Heero's gun disappears and his hands are caught in another set of those neat Oz restraints) Ohhh...two bound boys and they aren't willing to play! Not fair! (consults book again) If two said gorgeous dudes refuse to cooperate, introduce aphrodisiacs. Hmm...I can do that. (sprinkles magic author Love Dust ™ on pilots)

Wufei: Must...resist...(closes his eyes and puts his hands over his nose for some reason)

Heero: *achoo*achoo*achoo*!

Author: Geez, it figures I'd get the two pilots who are immune. Okay, then, what next? (book again) If all else fails, introduce new pilots. Fine, we'll make it one big orgy. (waves hand wildly--)

Duo, Quatre, and Trowa suddenly drop from the sky, but fortunately Wufei and Heero break their fall.

All: Ow!

Author: Damnit! (consults book) Note: pain not conducive to sexual play. (looks up at five pissed pilots, then back at the book) Unless you're Heero.

Heero: Oh...yeah...(little smirk of a smile)

Quatre: I think Wufei's out cold! (puts Wufei's head in lap and strokes his hair)

Trowa:...(picks up Wufei and holds him, trying to keep him warm)

Duo: Yeah, right. (notices Heero is tied up in a way) Ooh, very nice.

Heero: (gets up and heads toward Author) All right, I want to know who wrote that book.

Author: (reads cover) Recipes for Hentai Fanfics, by Duo Maxwell.

All: Duo?!

Duo: (suddenly fiddling with his braid) Uh, well, I needed some extra cash for more playthings and...

Heero: So that's how you came up with those chains made from gundanium.

Wufei: (waking up in Trowa's arms) Ah...Heaven at last...Trowa, you didn't tell me you were an angel.

Quatre: (giggles) More like a little devil. *achoo*

Trowa: Careful, little one, there seems to be Love Dust ™ in the air.

Quatre: Oh, good, an excuse to go wild!

Heero: (grabs Duo's braid) If you'll excuse us--(pulls curtain with the words The End written on it)

Author: Aw, man, no fair! Come back! Injustice!

The End