The Broad Overview

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FETISHES

Fetishes are the categories which define a certain sexual need or desire. The best definition I have seen for fetish is "something a person needs to climax, and without which, cannot." Though I'll focus on BDSM, a general overview seems applicable. And despite the length, this is indeed a very general overview.

BDSM is an acronym for Bondage Discipline Sado-Masochism. There's little separating them, they do go well together. Bondage is the restraint, discipline is the punishment or severity of the restraint, and sadism and masochism are the reasons both parties enjoy this.

The terms can be separated to a point. If there's no bondage and maybe only a whip involved, it's sadomasochism. If someone is tied to a bed, but gently and without pain, it's only bondage. If there's only an authoritative top, then it's discipline. The whole, though, is so much more than the sum of its parts, so we'll discuss BDSM accoutrements as a whole. All of fetishes here can be found in the BDSM fetish, at least in different parts. After this section, we'll look into a general overview of BDSM toys.

Abduction -- Abducting the intended victim, male or female. Usually involves rape and abandonment somewhere. This fetish can be tricky to pull off since a good citizen who notices your fantasy abduction might call the cops, and then you'll be in the embarassing position of explaining why you've tied your girlfriend/boyfriend naked in your car.

Anal -- Anything involving penentrating the rectum, but only with a specific focus on that part of the body. Thus, gay sex is usually not referred to as anal play. It's usually a het term.

Art -- This is rather broad, as it can include all fetishes as long as they are drawn. Quality obviously varies. Art often substitutes for fetishes that would be too painful, illegal or simply bad to do with a partner (think cannibalism, rape, death, etc.)

Asian -- A racial term, often for Japanese/Chinese submissives. The term Oriental is also frequent.

Baby -- Adult men pretending to be babies, and the women that treat them as such.

Bald -- Chicks who've let their heads be shaved. It can also apply to a shaved "down there." Be advised, vaginal shaving itches like hell when it grows back, and can also lead to a minor acne breakout there.

BBW (plumper) -- Big Beautiful Women is how I've heard it. It's not exactly large women, but rather women who are not Ally McBeal. For somewhat overweight women. The term "fatty" is reserved for obese women, at least a hundred pounds overweight.

Bestiality -- I don't know if it's illegal, but I think it's sick. Humans and animals in any sexual relationship. You may run into this more than you might expect, especially when BDSM includes the term "dog play" or "bitch" without meaning bestiality. Be careful out there.

Biting -- Not often seen. Usually it's only in torture games.

Blow Job (bj, oral, hummer) -- Everyone probably knows what this is. Performed on a female, it's called eating.

Breast bondage -- Particular attention paid to wrapping the breasts up in rope. This can range from an easy looped tie to a bondage so tight the breats will start to turn red or purple. At that point, it's called breast torture.

Bukkake (facials) -- This comes after the blow job fetish, as the man ejaculates onto the woman's face and body. The more men involved (or the more resilient the man) the more cum on her.

Chloroform -- Part of the abduction fantasy, though not necessary. You take a white rag, press it to someone's face, they fake passing out, voila, instant chloroform scene. If you for some reason want to use chloroform for real, don't. I've heard it can give people headaches, and you know what a girl's headache means for sex, right? Red light.

CBT -- Cock and Ball Torture. This can be anything from having a woman stomp on them with high heeled shoes to attaching heavy weights or strict bondage on said parts. Not for the faint of heart.

Cross-Dressing -- A man put into female clothing, including a maid outfit, lingerie, or other such frilly wear. RARELY looks good, it's better in manga. Distinguished from the sissy fetish in the degree of humiliation. Sometimes a woman dressing as a man, but this is rarer in porn.

Crucifixion -- No, not with nails! The slave is simply tied or has their arms strung up to a T shaped frame.

Damsel in Distress (DID) -- Remember the girl tied to the railroad tracks, the villiain in black hovering nearby as the train is coming, and the hero racing to beat the train? Yeah. It doesn't have to be that, per se, but any DID scene often involves gags and a lot of "mmph"ing on her part, imminent danger or threat of danger, and the girl trying to get away, usually unsuccessfully. DID fetishists can be found all over the internet, often trading scenes from mainstream tv shows and movies where the helpless damsel is kidnapped, struggles, and is rescued.

Dog Play -- Your slave is a dog. Take him/her for walks on a leash, make them eat from a dog bowl, chain them out in the yard. Wrap their hands so they can only make a fist and not use their fingers, keep them on a collar and let them sleep on the end of the bed. If they're naughty or get too excited, lock them in their cage for a few hours.

Dungeon -- You've either gotta be creative or wealthy. The dungeon requires some BDSM furniture like an X-frame or crucifix or wooden pony, and a bunch of toys like floggers, whips, chains and such. The dungeon can be your basement or a large room, but try to hide it from prying eyes. On the upswing, this is a great room for staging any fantasy you might have, unless it's an outdoors fantasy.

Ebony -- A racial term, often for black women as the submissive.

Electric -- One of the most dangerous fetishes, but not for legal reasons. If you don't know what you're doing, you could accidentally hurt or kill your partner. Play can include minor things like running a little voltage through your slave's nipples or zapping them with an electrical bug swatter, or can involve expensive wire apparatus that is sometimes sold on fetish sites. This should only be done with caution. Don't ever run current near the heart, nor from one arm to another, or from one breast up the arm. This could give your partner a heart attack.

Enema -- A fetish that involves enemas and scatalogical play.

Exhibition -- Doing your thing out in public where you might (or will) be seen. This could get you arrested for indecent exposure and maybe a slew of other laws.

Face-sitting (a form of smothering)-- The woman sits on the man's face. This is a femdom fetish. It can also be a lesbian fetish.

Feet (foot) -- Go fig. This is a really popular fetish. It's exactly what it says, people who get off on girls' feet. Bound or unbound, stockined or bare, used to play footsie with a guy's penis or simply doing nothing, all fetishes seem to involve this one in some manner.

FemDom (female domination) -- The woman is in charge, holding the whip and smacking the slave, either a male or female. Be careful, the mistress can be more cruel than the master, but then a good slave likes that.

Fisting -- Ouch! Putting your whole hand (fist or otherwise) into someone's vagina or anus. This can also severly hurt your partner.

Furniture -- Using your slave like furniture, especially as a footstool, chair or table. Some sites take this further and make women into actual furniture, locking them into wooden frames to make tables, tying them into odd positions to make fully functional chairs. The human body needs movement, though, so furniture fetishes can't be used more than a few hours.

Furry -- The most maligned fetish of all, using anthropomorphised animals as sexual objects. In other words, a humanoid fox or cat having sex with another humanoid furry creature. Beware, having furries on your site can bring you under somethingawful.com's attack. Furries are always part of the website owner's lifestyle. Yes, they think they really are humanoid skunks or foxes or such.

Golden Shower -- Pissing on your slave.

Hardcore -- Graphic sexual intercourse, usually with a camera stuck so close to the action that any farther and the lens might become a toy itself.

Hentai (het) -- Specifically, the Japanese word for perverted. It most often used to refer to anime-style pornography, either animated or drawn.

Humiliation -- Humiliating your slave in various ways, be it through toilet slavery, public humiliation or treating them like an animal.

Lactation -- Breast milk. Nuff said.

Latex (rubber) -- Latex or rubber bodysuits or, in lesser instances, latex molded directly onto the body. This often includes a mask or hood, sometimes a gas mask.

Lesbian (fem/fem) -- Not all the lesbians advertised on porn sites are real lesbians. Shocker? But it's such a popular fetish for the boys, no wonder there's a lot of girl on girl action on there.

Lolita (babydoll, schoolgirl) -- Beware this fetish. It can get you into serious trouble. Most often presented with women dressed like schoolgirls, with plaid skirts, knee socks, flats and a white blouse (think Britney Spears Oops I Did It Again vid). Usually their hair is done up in two ponytails and they've got a lollipop or such. The problem with this fetish comes when some people are sick enough to want to see real school girls. If you get on a lolita list, even if the group moderator tries their hardest, often illegal pedophilia pics slip through. There are some sick people out there, guys. Unless you really need to see grown women in school outfits, stay away from this one.

Master (Top, Dominant) -- The one holding the whip and the key to the chains. A good master has also been a slave at some point. S/He is trusted not to hurt the submissive, and should take that trust seriously. They must know their slave's limits, know when to stop, know what to do in an emergency, and push themselves to make the sub happy. Being a master is a hard job.

Missionary position -- Man on top, woman on bottom, lights out, this is for procreation only.

Mummification -- One of my faves. The slave is wrapped up tight, like a mummy, in either cling wrap (yes from your kitchen), electrical / duct tape (try not to apply it directly to the skin) spandex (it stretches a little for their comfort) or a lot of rope. The head may be wrapped too, as long as a tube or gap is left for breathing through the mouth or nose, respectively. A hood may be used. Body heat builds up fast, though, and again, the human body needs to move, so this doesn't last for long. Quick release requires either a knife or scissors; be careful you don't hurt your sub.

Needles -- Part of the torture scene. Needles can be as small as acupuncture needles and bloodless, or can be as long as knitting needles and thrust entirely through the breast.

Odd Insertion -- More often for the women. Cucumbers. Flashlights. Beer bottles. Baseball bats. Anything long and hard and not usually up there.

Outdoors -- Sexual activities outdoors, in a forest, an empty park, or a crowded park if your an exhibitionist. BDSM can be hard to find when outdoors, and often you'll only find sex acts in these kinds of pictures.

Pony -- I like this one. The slave, male or female, is dressed as a pony. The more expensive players have full costumes for this, including the tall feather for their head, a bit gag and reins, and a fancy leather harness, and a specialized cart that holds one or two people. One or two "ponies" can be hitched to a cart, and then can take their master/mistress out on a country run. Note, don't use boots or barefeet. Sneakers or running shoes are best. Take good care of a submissive!

Preggo (pregnant) -- Any sexual activity involving pregnant women. This can also involve the lactation fetish.

Rape -- Well this is obvious. Rape online is fantasy rape, and you'll find disclaimers on all rape sites saying that it's only fantasy, the models are all willing, and there's a link you can take to make sure. And when you see the same female in three different "rape" videos with a smile slipping onto her face, it's obviously fantasy. If you don't see the disclaimer, don't open the site.

Roleplay -- You're the swashbuckling pirate/highwayman/burglar/supervillain, she's the captured damsel in distress. In a broader term, you may be the "rapist" and she may be the "victim." Sometimes these are scripted, sometimes they are improvised. They are always discussed before the scene occurs.

Scene -- Where two people get together, agree what is going to happen, and then act it out.

Skull Fuck -- A violent and horrible fetish I've only ever seen in drawings. It either involves trepannation (a man drilling a hole in the victim's skull and screwing that) or going through her eyesocket. Yes, this usually kills the victim.
*skull fuck can also refer to a rough blow job session, but rarely

Sissy -- The man is dressed as a female, (high heels, skirt and the like) and made to do "female" tasks, but mainly made to serve his mistress. Yes, mistress. This is mainly a femdom thing.

slave (bottom, submissive) -- The recipient of all the bondage, discipline, pain and most of the pleasure. Don't let the term slave fool you, these are usually the ones in control of the entire scene. They dictate how far they are willing to go, what they want to do, and how it's going to happen. They can stop the scene at any time with a safe word. Only in the most extreme relationships are slaves truly slaves, and even then that's still with their consent. I lower-cased the entry for this because you'll find that on BDSM sites, the relationship is always referred to as M/s, or Master/slave.

Smothering -- Not just face sitting. This involves breath control, and usually means a plastic bag or hood over the head. The slave's breathing can be regulated, as some people find a lack of oxygen to the brain necessary to orgasm. Some slaves actually want to have their breath cut off until they pass out, but I'd seriously advise against it. Aside from a headache, negatives are you might not come to again. A dead slave is still murder, manslaughter at least, and you'd have their death on your conscience forever because you screwed up. Don't be extreme about this one.

Snuff -- One of the most if not the most extreme fetish, the fantasy of killing your partner. As long as it's fantasy and not hurting anyone, like in stories or drawings, it's still questionable but not evil. Pull it off for real and you'll get the chair, and that's if you're lucky. This fetish can include all sorts of violent ends and in one case I know of, cannibalism, but always only in drawings or photomanips. Always fantasy, never reality. On sites that cater to this fetish, you'll often find a disclaimer stating that the members of that site do not condone violence in any matter and that everything on the site is fake and fantasy. If you find a site that claims things are real, report it to the authorities immediately. Real death has no place in sex.

Spanking -- It's better now than when you were a kid. All manners of toys are designed with a few good swats in mind, ranging from something as gentle as your hand to paddles covered in rabbit fur to something as severe as a cane. Again, the more extreme toys can draw blood.

Tentacle -- Most common in Japanese hentai games and drawings, this fetish manages to show penile insertion without a man getting in the way. Often a demon or a monster with several tentacles grabs a female and holds her with its tentacles while invading her various orifices with still more tentacles. Colors vary. While not always against her will, this fetish is usually known as tentacle rape. Tentacles are also usually shown spraying out a white substance mimicking sperm, and it often gets everywhere.

Toilet -- You use your slave as a toilet. It's part of the scatalogical fetish, and as far as I'm going to even consider it. Hence, you won't find any more entries about it.

Torture -- This is a real iffy one. The point is to cause pain to your subordinate, and sometimes this can get bloody, even to the point of mutilation. Granted, that's an extreme, but not too far off for torture. An example? Nailing your nipples to a wooden board. Ouch...I'd never do that to someone...

Vanilla -- Innocent, normal sex. No kinks, no games, just two partners taking care of each other.

Wax -- Dripping candle wax onto the submissive. There should be no pain involved in this, and the candles used should be non-scented paraffin, I believe, and dripped from several inches above the skin. Doing this improperly can burn your partner.

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BDSM ACCESSORIES

These babies can be homemade or professionally made. Homemade means they're cheaper, professional means they're safer and better looking. Best to try homemade first as you experiment, and then only buy the expensive (talking hundreds of dollars here) gear if you know you're really into this lifestyle. Why waste three hundred bucks on a corset with D rings if you don't like corsets, hmm?

OUTFITS & CLOTHING

Arm binders (arm sheaths) -- These are neat. A regular sheath holds a dagger. A arm sheath is a leather casing that holds the arms straight out behind the submissive's back. The straps lock around their shoulders, and the rings near their hands can be used to winch their arms up, making them bend forward a little.

Ballet Boots -- These are boots with stilleto heels sometimes seven inches in length, and the toe of the boot will be pointed to match. When laced up, the slave will be unable to walk or even stand unless given help by being bound upright against something.

Catsuit -- A one-piece skintight outfit, rubber/lycra/leather/spandex/etc. Goes from the toes to the neck, including attached gloves.

Chastity belt -- For women, a belt with a strap between the legs and a lock. This belt can fit one or two dildoes. For men, there's more room in front so as not to crush anything sensitive. Usually used as a punishment.

Cock cage -- Devious little (or not so little, sorry guys) contraptions to keep him from becoming erect. Some are downright vicious, like the so-called Gates of Hell, a series of rings that are slid along the non-erect shaft and become too tight if the man gets excited. Some are designed for extended wear and can be worn for days at a time. Usually a punishment.

Collar -- A leather item for the neck. There are many collars and lots of variations. The cheapest kind will come from Petsmart. Get a nice loose one and don't buckle it tight. Don't get the ones with the spikes on the inside. The professional type will have rings built into them for leash attachment. Posture collars are strict and wide, holding the sub's head up.

Corset -- For cinching in the waist. These can be either faithful replicas of the whalebone variety used in days gone by, or leather types that help boost your bust. Play with these should be cautious, however, as they can limit the wearer's oxygen supply.

Cuffs -- Not handcuffs, cuffs. These are for the wrists and ankles and can be fur or cotton lined, anything soft so the leather won't bite into your skin. There are rings on them, usually more than one, so a chain or rope can be attached. Never put on too tightly.

Handcuffs -- The metal ones used by police officers. Try to avoid these in bed, as they are hard, can cinch up way too tight and hurt no matter how you wear them.

Straightjackets -- These range in styles and fabrics. Some are just for show, some are the real deal. There are full pieces with straps to go between the legs for a secure fit, some that are kind of half jackets that just barely cover the arms and strap in back.

RESTRAINTS & TIES

Balltie -- The sub is put into a ball shape, knees against their chest, legs bent. The arms can be behind the back or wrapped around the legs. This often takes a lot of rope. Afterwards, the sub won't be able to move except for falling over.

Blindfold -- Not too many different types. There are nightshades that the social mainstream use to cover their eyes at night, special blindfolds made for harness gags, and the usual rag over the eyes.

Clamps -- Usually these look like clothespins that are firmly clamped on the nipple. Most often set on the nipples, sometimes on the clitoris or the man's genitals. They range from stimulating to downright torture. The real pain comes as they're removed and the blood rushes back in, oversensitizing the slave. I read one man's experience with self-bondage, and he tied his nipple clamps to a rotating fan for some slight tugging. He'd set the clamps to be pulled off at a certain time, though, and when they were yanked off, he swore never to do it that way again. IT HURTS! Take them off gently gently gently sooo gently.

Crotch rope -- With or without underwear. For both men and women, though it's less complicated on a female. With men, you have to either avoid the sensitive bits or specially tie those as well. The rope is tied around the waist, and then one end is drawn between the legs somewhat snugly and tied to the waist rope again. A good handle. This can be turned into a torture device with a pulley and some weights.

Gags -- Anything put in the mouth to halt or restrict speech. There are lots of different gags. None of them actually stop someone from talking or screaming, though. Even the pump gag lets noise out. (This is a good thing.)

*dental gag -- This looks more wicked than it actually is. Used by dentists to keep a patient's mouth open during surgery, these are metal frames that go into the mouth and hold it open. Not to be used for long periods of time.

*ball gag -- The usual gag, a strap with a rubber ball in the middle that fits into the slave's mouth. These are usually red, once in awhile pink.

*bamboo gag -- A very strict gag that hurts. Bamboo only refers to the original material used. Take two long penciles and lay one on top of the tongue, then place the second under the tongue parallel to the first. Tie the ends so the pencils are held firmly in place. The slave will not be able to bring their tongue back into their mouth, but this does exert a lot of pressure and does not feel comfortable. Remember, a good master knows what the ties will feel like, so if the master doesn't like it, s/he should not use it on their slave.

*cleave gag -- The soap opera gag. The usual bandana twisted between the teeth and knotted behind the head.

*cock gag -- A normal gag but with a dildo attached to the strap that fits into the slave's mouth.

*harness gag -- A harness gag has one strap that fits through the mouth and behind the head, then two straps that lead from the mouth up over the nose, where they merge into one and finish going behind the head. Easier seen than explained. They can have blindfolds or blinders mounted on them as well.

*pony bit -- A small rod put between the slave's teeth and held in place by a strap around the head. Reins are usually attached.

*pump gag -- Especially common in latex crowds. A little bag is inserted into the slave's mouth and can be hand-pumped full of air to fill their mouth.

*ring gag -- A strap with a ring, usually covered in leather or something to pad it, that fits inside the mouth to hold it open. These tend to promote drooling, however.

*wrap gag -- Saran wrap or tape wrapped securely around the mouth. Be careful not to cover the sub's nose.

Hogtie -- The sub is put on his/her stomach on the floor, hands bound behind the back, legs tied, bent and the ankles tied to the wrists.

Shackles -- Like heavy duty handcuffs. These are found in dungeon scenes and aren't that comfortable, though they make a striking picture. Shackles can go around anything from your neck to your ankles. Make sure you have several keys so if you lose one, your sub doesn't get angry with you.

Spreadeagle -- Sub is tied with legs and arms oustretched. Usually an amateur position.

Tape -- My favorite material. Electrical and duct tape are the most often seen, as both are quite strong. Best not applied directly to the skin, though, even if there's no bodyhair there. This stuff hurts like a bitch when you rip it off even smooth skin. Use it over clothing if at all possible. Specially made "bdsm tape" is available through several adult toy shops and sites, and it has no sticky adhesive. Best of all, it can be used over and over again.

Y-tie -- The sub is tied with their wrists together, feet apart, or feet together and wrists apart, making a Y shape.

TOYS & FURNITURE

Cane -- Not your grandfather's. A bamboo or thin wood cane, like those used in Singapore prisons. These are painful, will raise large welts, and if you're clumsy, cut the sub. Go slowly and not too hard.

Cages -- These come in all sizes, from doggy cages to nearly prison cell size. They can be tall and narrow, shaped like bird cages, shaped like coffins, or even molded around the body in the old medieval style. A closet can be set with a barred door instead of a regular door, turning it into an instant cage. Often used in doggy play, or just when the slave needs some quiet alone time.

Candles -- Wonderful if done right. Scalding if not. MUST be non-scented. Paraffin, I've heard, works best since it melts at a lower temperature. Drip from several inches above the slave's skin. If you're not sure about the temperature, try it on yourself first. Some people will cover a slave in wax and then beat it off with a whip. I saw an art shot where a slave had been carefully decorated with small votive candles running along her body and affixed with dripped wax. Pretty, but a little dangerous. One master, whose slave was afraid of the wax, told her to lay on her stomach for a massage. He then dripped the wax into his own palm and rubbed her back that way. She only knew that his hands were warmer than usual and that she enjoyed it, and afterwards enjoyed the wax treatment. Be careful not to get it on body hair, as then you're getting a cheap wax job that will hurt. When dealing with flames, keep a fire extinguisher handy.

Paddles -- Spanking equipment, this comes in a lot of different shapes and materials. There's wood, leather, with holes, without holes, rounded, with rabbit fur...The spanking can often be more enjoyable than not.

Pillory -- A wooden post with a hinged top, with three holes made for the head and wrists. The hinged top is open, the slave puts their head and wrists into the right slots, the hinged top is lowered and locked in place, and the slave can't go anywhere. Dozens of modifications on the original design exist, but always have a wooden slab that will lock around the slave's neck. The stocks are a variation on this, but either for the feet alone or with extra slots for the slave's legs.

Rack -- The familiar medieval device used to stretch people is still in use, but these are now used to merely hold the slave in position. Variations abound, but always involve ropes or chains attached to the slave's hands and feet that are pulled just enough to keep their body taut.

Slings -- These are just broad swaths of leather or fabric that a slave can sit or lay in and be suspended from the ground. They typically fasten to eyebolts in the ceiling; some have rings so the slave can be restrained in them. Personally, I find them unappealing.

Spanking Pony -- Kind of like a vaulting horse seen in the Summer Olympics. Padded so the slave can lean over it on his stomach and be securely tied or strapped to it, leaving his rear end high in the air and ready to be whipped or paddled. In a pinch, anything that the slave can bend over and be bound to is a spanking pony, like an ottoman. (You'll never look at an ottoman the same way again.)

Strappado -- An uncomfortable but no longer vicious technique. In the medieval era, this was used to jerk a person's arms out of their sockets. Now it's just used as a different form of restraint. The slave's arms are bound (or sheathed) behind their back and then raised slowly until the slave is either on their toes or lower.

Whips -- These come in many types. Some can be gentle (one website makes mini-whips as keychains, they're quite cute) while some can easily tear someone apart. Don't use these unless you know what you're doing. If you want to practice, use yourself. You'll know when to stop.

*cat-o-nine-tails -- Nine leather straps in one, they sometimes have knots on the end for better stinging. They used to have metal shards embedded in them, but that was a long long time ago.

*bullwhip -- Indiana Jones' whip of choice. This one can cut a person badly if used wrong.

*flogger -- A smaller whip with shorter straps, usually no more than a foot or two.

*riding crop -- Not just for ponies, but be advised this hurts. At best it stings like the dickens. Try it out on yourself first, and be gentle even then.

Wooden Pony -- A modified, gentler wooden horse. Boys can ride this too, but should be treated with great care so they aren't hurt. The pony is a long pole or a flat, narrow piece of wood that the slave is forced to straddle. The pony should be so high that they can only barely lift themselves up from it by standing on their toes, and as the minutes pass and their muscles weaken, they are forced to put more and more weight between their legs until they are writhing, not in agony, but extreme discomfort. This writhing is called riding the pony. Fun to watch, and the slave will not be harmed beyond a little bruising. Usually an hour is the maximum time to ride it, often less time is better. Make sure the slave is secured so they don't fall over.

Wooden Horse -- This thing is vicious and can permanently damage someone, especially any poor boy you force on it. It's a long triangle wedge of wood, the pointed edge up, that the slave is placed on in a straddle. Her feet do not touch the floor as the triangle shape forces her legs out and they are sometimes tied up under her. Weights might be tied to her knees to place more pressure on her. She may be allowed to lean on a post shaped like a horse's neck and head, or to lay entirely flat on the long edge itself. Again, this can cause permament damage and the wooden pony is always recommended over the horse.

X-frame (Saint Andrew's Cross) -- A bit of BDSM furniture, an X shaped piece of wood big enough to tie someone to spreadeagled. These are usually expensive, but can be made cheaply.

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