“I am Captain Dylan Hunt, and these are our adventures..”
Damn. Missed the first section. They said this started at 2:05 AM and I believed them. Must have really started at 2:AM or would it be 2:02 AM. Probably the clock – but I thought the one of the cable box was always right.
Now I won’t get to read the incomprehensible quote that has nothing to do with the episode. Those Vedrens were definitely verbose and vague.
“This week’s episode of Andromeda brought to you by . . . . . . . . Snuggy Diapers.”
Now there is target marketing. Show is still popular among adult males so you advertise a product for babies. Hey, maybe not such a bad idea, a lot of mothers are probably up with babies who won’t sleep. Why not watch some hunky men blowing each other up to get your mind off the squealing spawn? Good call!!
“I can make anything Dylan, just give me enough duct tape.”
Do you have an idea that needs a patent? We can help? Become a millionaire with your ideas, but first spend $99.00 for our inventor’s guide kit.
And just how is that going to help with production, distribution, sales and marketing? Probably a kit for those functions, too. A lot more expensive, too. How to build a factory in your basement. Plus tip number one is probably “hire an attorney to help with your filing.” Do most people know any patent attorneys? I don’t even know a patent attorney. Guess you can just hire the firm that sends out the kits. Good marketing.
Way too many lawyer ads. Way too many lawyers. At least it’s not that babe that will settle your taxes for $10.00. I’m glad I’m not a lawyer anymore.
“I don’t know about the future, Dylan, it looks all burny and sparkly.”
I must have fallen asleep. Missed the next segment and it’s commercial time again. It’s that damn woman offering to read my Tarot cards. Do I deal the cards? Does she? How do I know she’s not lying? What can she know about me? Bet the future looks burny and sparkly? I can resist that one.
“That might not worry a real woman, Dylan, but I am a warship.”
See girls gone crazy on Florida Beaches. Bikini tops are too small to hold these honeys. 107 minutes of non-stop giggles. Only $19.95 but if you act now we will include California Cuties at no extra cost.
Convince your friends that you actually went to Spring Break without your parents. Show the professional made movies that are only slightly better quality than those you took in the locker room after the girls’ volleyball game last year. Get them on VHS because they are cheaper and look better grainy.
Hi. My friends at the sorority house are here ready to talk to real men. If you are a real man give us a call. The first three minutes . . .while we get your preferences and credit card number are free. . . are free.
I wonder if Kevin Sorbo knows what kind of ads they run on his show? This must be the long commercial break. I'm just going to close my eyes . . .
Damn, the show is over. Going to have to go and tell the folks on the Bulletin Board that this week’s episode sucked.