Spells and Androids: the Joy of Sex (Magic)
By Osiris
NC17 for sex and swearing
Catagories: Crossover (Charmed), Orgy, Rommie/Harper/Other
An Andromeda/ Charmed crossover
I don't own Rommie. I don't own Andromeda. Tribune own them, and they are wasted doing the things on screen when they could be far more fun if they did the things I write about them doing. I also don't own Charmed, which belongs to Spelling production. All three of the (original) sisters were cute, but Phoebe was the best.
Okay, for those who have never seen Charmed, here's the lo-down. There are three sisters. They are witches. They are cute. Phoebe is the youngest and best looking. She can fly and see the future, and has a tendency to screw up spells every now and again. She is a very good hand to hand fighter and is the wild girl of the three.
A fuse box is a wonderful thing that prevents consoles exploding and killing nameless ensigns. I think Andromeda has them, as, unlike Trek, there are hardly an infinite number of crew members to replace those who die when their console explodes.
As well as just a random fic, this is evidence I can write more than F/F slash. So I went for M/F/F orgy. Don't comment on what that says about me.
Sex magic: a basic guide ;) :)
Things needed: One or more other people. A bed or other comfortable surface is preferred. Privacy is recommended, but not absolutely necessary. Should be performed skyclad (Starkers), at least by the finish. Additional items may be added as needed. You may chant if you wish, but there are better things your mouth could be doing. Ceremonial ointments (Lube) may be required. The ceremony should last as long as you can keep it going. There is no specific time or place for this ceremony, but anytime, anywhere and as often as possible are a good guide.
Keywords: Crossover (Charmed)
"What the hell was that?" Harper groaned as he struggled to his feet.
"Some kind of energy pulse." Rommie answered.
"No shit?" Harper answered sarcastically. "The huge sparks might have hinted at that."
The machine shop was a complete mess. Dozens of, what were formerly stacked, crates were now strewn all over the floor. Tools from Harper's work benches had been scattered amongst them, along with chips, wires and miscellaneous bits of machinery. The normally bright lights were replaced with the dim emergency lights.
"Harper, what did you do?" Rommie growled.
"Nothing! You were standing next to me!. The bits I was fiddling with were just broken circuit boards. No power, no connections to anything. They couldn't have done this."
Rommie nodded, reluctantly conceding he was right.
Rubbing his head, Harper walked over to the door, which failed to open. He reached across and hammered on the contact. Still nothing. Picking a pry bar off the floor, he forced open the door circuit panel and looked inside. "Damn. The powers down."
Rommie closed her eyes, and searched for the nearest active receiver. It was nearly five decks away. "Half the power systems on this side of the ship are down. We're lucky my mainframe is so heavily shielded."
"Can you get a message to Dylan or someone? We're gonna need help to get out of here."
Rommie turned to Harper and frowned. "Harper, we're in the machine shop. We have got to have enough tools to get the door open."
Harper shook his head. "This is the one for my fine work. No cutters, no nanowielders, nothing like that. I only have that pry bar here to open crates. It sure as hell won't open a reinforced door."
Rommie sighed. "And I can't force them, either. I'm strong, but not strong enough to manage that. It'll take a cutter to get through those doors. The best option is to replace the fuses that got blown out by the surge, then open the doors as normal. We can't get out of the room to do that, though."
Harper nodded. "Call whoever you can, and tell them to go to Machine shop 3, off the hanger deck. There are replacement fuses in one of the crates, and that also has a load of the heavy cutting gear they'll need."
Rommie nodded, and her statement became distant, then she turned back to him. "I've told my mainframe, and she's relayed it to Dylan and Beka. They need to go through about five sealed bulkheads to get to the nearest fuse box, then they'll be able to open enough of the doors to get through to us."
"So, has the mainframe You got any idea what hit us?"
Rommie shook her head. "It was no spatial anomaly of any kind, or any known type of weapon. My data indicates it radiates out from this general area. Are you sure there was nothing in here that could do that?"
Harper shook his head. "Anything like that would need a high grade power source if it shorted out that many systems. Nothing I have in here is big enough. The only place we have things like that are Machine shops 2 and 5, and the Armouries. Everything here is strictly pocket sized gizmo's or damaged circuitry I'm repairing."
Rommie frowned. There were no conduits or generators in the area, Harper had none of his toys here to blow things up, and her mainframe had ruled out spatial anomalies and attacks. "Any chance someone planted a device? An EMP bomb or something?"
Harper shook his head. "You know that your security scans would pick things like that up normally. Anything small enough to be missed wouldn't generate that kind of power. Knock out this room, maybe, but not a major section of the ship."
"Well, then what the he..."
She broke off when she heard a groan behind her. "We have an intruder."
Harper looked at her. "No shit?" He whispered. "You got a gun?"
Rommie shook her head. "I normally have full control over internal defences. I don't need a gun on board ship."
"Any chance of those magnificent internal defences tottering over the hill to the rescue?"
"No. The power for them is down, too. What little power is available is keeping the emergency lights on and life support operating. It would take command level access to shunt that power to weapons, and only Dylan can authorise that."
Harper snorted. "Well, that's great planning. Can you ask him to free them up?"
Rommie shook her head again. "Even if he did, there wouldn't be enough power to fire them without turning off the AG fields, and with the ship trying to get into a stable orbit, we'd be killed by the acceleration forces."
"So we're unarmed?"
"More or less." Rommie said as she bent and picked up the pry bar.
"Hope for friendly." Harper replied.
Rommie stepped in front of him, swinging the pry to get a feel for its weight. She moved silently in the direction of the sound, eventually arriving at a pile of toppled crates. Gesturing for Harper to stand clear, she bent and threw the nearest crate across the room. She had been expecting it to be loaded with assorted junk, but it was actually empty, so it flew rather further than she expected, hitting the wall with a loud crash.
"OW!" Came a voice from under the pile. "Noise bad!"
A few more flying crates later revealed a woman lying on the floor in a crop top and short skirt, looking only minimally the worse for wear. Rommie stood back, pointing the crowbar at the woman. "Who are you, and what are you doing on this ship?" She demanded.
The woman looked up, blinking in the light, dim though it was. "Ship? Huh? Where am I?"
"You are on the Andromeda Ascendant. I'd like to know why." Rommie ran her eyes over the woman's figure, looking for weapons. Harper ran his eyes over the woman's figure, admiring her curves.
"Can I blame it on my driving?" The woman asked, weakly.
"Unless your driving normally manages to short out the power on a quarter of a ship, then no." Rommie replied sardonically.
The woman winced, then glanced around, seeming to be looking for a way out. Rommie continued to glare at her.
"I take it I'm not in Kansas any more?" The Woman asked.
"No, but if you don't answer my question quickly, I'll place you in a missile tube and fire you in the general direction." Rommie threatened.
The woman winced again. "That'll hurt." She sighed. "My name is Phoebe Halliwell. Can you tell me exactly where I am? You know, place, not ship?"
"The Dendrix system, Trangulum galaxy."
The woman's eyes widened. "Can you possibly tell me what year it is?"
"Commonwealth yea-"
"Earth years. I have no idea what you are talking about in Commonwealth years."
"Roughly AD 5194."
"F-five thousand?!" She muttered. "Okay, that spell went a little wronger than the normal mistakes."
Harper raised a hand. "Um, spell?"
"Huh? Oh, I didn't say spell-"
"You said spell." Stated Rommie. "Explain." She tapped the pry against her hand meaningfully.
"Okay. I'm a witch. I was trying a spell to enhance my control over my future sight, and it went a little..."
"Hideously, terribly, wrong?" Hinted Harper.
"Well, yeah." Phoebe conceded.
"Well, then you've come to the right place! Things go hideously terribly wrong here all the time, so your mistakes have good company!" Harper announced cheerfully.
"And this spell shorted out half my systems." Rommie finished.
Phoebe nodded. "I guess so. Sorry."
Harper looked at Rommie. "So, Rom-doll, she telling the truth?"
"She seems human, and my readings indicate that she's being honest." Rommie answered. She was feeling almost sorry about that. She didn't like having her main self in this condition, and having someone to hit would be good.
"And you are going to get back how?" Harper asked.
"Well, I suppose I could..." Phoebe started, then her eyes widened. "Shit! The spell is linked to a candle! When I wrote it, it was designed to only enhance my powers for as long as the candle burnt! I don't know what'll happen if I'm still here when it goes out!"
"Well, then say whatever spell it is you need to go back." Harper hinted.
"Back three thousand years? Do you have any idea how much power that needs?" Phoebe asked exasperatedly.
"Well, no..." Harper answered, sarcastically.
Phoebe began to pace. "So, I'll need a power boost. I only know a couple..." She turned to Rommie. "I'm guessing you don't have any power crystals, herbs or anything like that?"
"Not where we can get at them." Harper answered.
"I'm guessing death magic is out..." She stopped and winced. "Sex."
"Huh?" Harper asked.
"About the only thing that would get me back is sex magic. I don't have the things I'd need for the rest of them."
"You mean you have to have sex to get back." Rommie said, bluntly.
Phoebe nodded. "When they say sex is power, they are more right than they know. It generates a hell of a lot of magic that can be used to power a spell. For a time jump of three thousand years plus, I'd need the boost." She glanced at her watch. "And I have about forty minutes or so to do it."
Rommie looked across at Harper. "She's being honest, still. I can sense her panicking."
Harper tried to put a fake martyred statement in place. And failed. "Well, we're supposed to help people in need..."
Rommie wrinkled her nose. "No need to look so happy, Harper."
"Hey, we're the good guys. We help people. And if we get a little fun out of it, all the better."
Rommie rolled her eyes at Phoebe. "See what I have to put up with?" She sighed. "Okay, I guess we'll help."
Harper grinned, and Rommie sighed again. "Do you have a bed or something in here?"
"Best I can do is an armchair." Harper pointed to the corner, where a large and well stuffed armchair was sitting. It was also covered in grease and oil stains. "I keep it in here for when I work late." He said defensively when Rommie arched an eyebrow.
"I don't think so." Rommie stated firmly.
Phoebe nodded, then smiled. "Sorry about this. I suppose I should know your names first."
"I'm Rommie. My full designation is Andromeda Ascendant High Guard AI. That's Seamus Harper, my engineer."
Phoebe nodded, then stepped in close and pulled Rommie into a deep kiss. The android tensed, then relaxed into it. After a moment, Phoebe pulled away and kissed Harper in turn, her hands pulling his loud Hawaiian shirt off of his shoulders, then cupping his firm ass.
Rommie moved behind Phoebe, and started to nibble at her neck, one arm reaching around her stomach to pull her body back, the other cupping the witch's breast. Rommie began to carefully unbutton the top, but the witch pulled her mouth away from Harper's and gasped out "I don't have time for gentle!" Rommie ran her finger down the back, buttons flying free, revealing a white lace bra underneath.
Turning her head, Phoebe's lips met Rommie's again, as Harper pulled his T-shirt over his head, then undid the clasp on the front of Phoebe's bra. The full breasts popped free, and Harper took a nipple into his mouth as his other hand massaged the free one. Phoebe reached behind her, and guided Rommie around until the android was in front of her, their lips still locked. Reaching behind her, Phoebe undid the zip on Rommie's top, allowing it to slide free down her arms. Much to her surprise, the apparently prudish android wasn't wearing a bra underneath.
Pulling Harper away from her own breast, Phoebe lowered her mouth to the androids tanned mounds, nipping and sucking at each nipple in turn. The Android gasped, clutching and the witch's head. Harper watched them for a moment, then kneeled in front of Phoebe, his hands reaching around to cup her ass cheeks, then pulling down the zip on the short skirt. The material fell to the floor, and without removing her mouth from Rommie's nipple, Phoebe stepped clear and kicked the fabric across the room. Revealed were a pair of silk T-backed panties. Harper caressed Phoebe's slit through the thin silk, then put his fingers over the edge of the panties and yanked them down, revealing the light dusting of brunette hair at her crotch.
Rommie reached down, pulling Harper up and kissing him. Rommie reached down and undid the zip and catch of her pants. Phoebe began to kiss her way down Rommie's stomach, then yanked the skin-tight pants down, revealing her moist slit. Rommie wasn't wearing panties, either. Phoebe leant forward, running her tongue along the slit, tasting Rommie's juices. Reaching across with her hand, Phoebe cupped the bulge in Harper's pants, massaging it, then unbuttoning the fly as she continued to lick and suck at Rommie's cunt.
Reaching up, Phoebe grabbed Harper's hand and guided it down to Rommie's groin, gently inserting two of his fingers into Rommie's sopping slit. Moving her mouth away as Harper's fingers began to take up a rhythm, Phoebe turned her attention to Harper's groin. Opening the fly fully, Phoebe caught sight of Harper's erect cock peeping through his Wile E Coyote boxers. Phoebe grinned, then yanked down both trousers and boxers down, revealing Harper's unusually large penis. It seemed almost outsize for someone as small as he was.
Phoebe leant forwards and wrapped her hand around the erect cock, lifting it up and running her tongue along the hot flesh while her other hand cupped his full balls. She then opened her mouth and took the head into her mouth. Harper gasped into Rommie's mouth as he felt the moist warmth around his penis, but he kept up the rhythm of his fingers in Rommie's cunt.
Phoebe began to move her mouth up and down Harper's penis, and from the movements of his arm, she could tell his fingers were speeding up in Rommie. As she felt him approach a climax, she pulled her mouth away and heard Harper groan loudly.
Reaching up, she pulled Rommie down onto the floor, then kneeled astride her face. Rommie paused for a moment, then began to lick and suck at the witch's cunt. She then turned to Harper. "In my ass. Now. I haven't much time."
Harper kneeled behind her as Phoebe lowered her mouth to Rommie's crotch. She gasped as she felt Harper's large cock slide into her tight anal passage. He paused to allow her to get used to his size, but she looked around at him and growled ferally "Fuck me!". Harper began to move, his cock sliding in and out slowly, but he soon began to pick up the pace. Phoebe supported her weight on one hand as she pushed two of her fingers inside Rommie's pussy and took the clit between her lips.
The twin sensations of a cock in her ass and a mouth on her clit were driving her rapidly towards orgasm, but she needed for the other two to come at the same time as her for maximum power and her best chance at getting home, so she struggled to hold it back. Harper's pace had picked up until it was pounding deeply into her ass. Phoebe began to feel tremors running through Rommie's body under her mouth, and she took her mouth away and began to chant.
"By the power of lust, I ask of thee,
Take me to where I'm meant to be!"
The last words were moaned out as she nearly came. She
kept her fingers moving rapidly, but as her ass-muscle contracted, she
heard Harper give a strangled groan as he pushed his cock deep into her
and came, warm semen flooding her ass. She felt a large tremble run through
Rommie's body, then a rush of fluids spurted from the android's cunt. Letting
herself go at last, Phoebe came, and white light filled her vision...
Phoebe found herself naked and gasping on her hands and
knees on her bed at home. The only light in the near pitch black room came
from the guttering candle sitting in the chalk circle on the floor. There
was a final flicker, then the room was plunged into total blackness. Allowing
her arms to relax, she collapsed onto the bed. "Why can't all my spells
go wrong like that?" She whispered as she fell into an exhausted sleep
on top of the covers.