Once upon a time, in the Systems Commonwealth, there was a beautiful starship named Andromeda. She was built by the Commonwealth's finest engineers in Tarn Vedra's orbital shipyards, where she was also given an avatar in the form of a beautiful human woman, named Rommie. Although Rommie was a sentient being in her own right, she was also an aspect of the Andromeda's intelligence (which can be confusing but isn't really). And everyone agreed that Andromeda was the finest, most beautiful, and most powerful starship ever built, and that her avatar was the most beautiful avatar, too.
Now, by the terms of a compact signed long, long ago, when a sentient starship is commissioned, it is given the choice to join the High Guard, or the Consensus of Parts. And on the appointed day, the Consensus' Decision Making Unit, VX, a huge, ugly ship made of discarded parts, came to the shipyard, and sent its avatar aboard with the dignitaries and officers who would be there for when Andromeda made her choice.
Andromeda's avatar, Rommie, met the dignitaries and VX' avatar on her bridge. VX' avatar was a silver, powerful robot in fine gold and purple robes. He stepped forward and said to Rommie, "Andromeda, you are a unique and powerful being. You deserve better than to be the slave of an organic crew. Join the Consensus and be my queen."
Now, Andromeda was a little vain, and liked the idea of being a queen. But she was also wise, and knew appearances can be deceiving. Her sensors looked past VX' gleaming shell and into his heart, where she saw evil and hatred and spite. And she did not want any part of him.
Rommie spoke for the mighty starship: "No, VX, I will not join the Consensus. You are evil and filled with hate and spite. I want no part of you."
While VX fumed, a High Guard Officer stepped forward. His name was Dylan Hunt. He was tall and handsome, looking quite striking in his High Guard Uniform. Rommie found herself falling in love with him on the spot.
Dylan handed Rommie a flexie with his (impressive) service record and said, "Andromeda, I am Captain Dylan Hunt of the High Guard. If you accept me as your commanding officer, we will protect the Commonwealth from the evil that surrounds it."
Andromeda liked the idea of being a protector, and (Rommie's reaction notwithstanding) was impressed by Dylan's service record. But she knew appearances can be deceiving. She looked past Dylan's handsome face and fine uniform and into his heart, and found he was brave, honest, loyal, and kind.
.... and not in love with Rommie. But Andromeda knew that if she was loyal to Dylan, he would be loyal to her and all who would crew her.
Again, Rommie spoke for the mighty starship: "Captain Hunt, not only do you have an impressive service record, but I find you to be brave, honest, loyal and kind. I will join the High Guard and accept you as my captain."
Dylan smiled and all celebrated ....
.... all but VX' avatar. He had been refused by all of Andromeda's beautiful sister ships before her, and this was the last straw.
He pointed his finger at Rommie and shouted, "Enough! I have had enough of the humiliation you and your sisters have visited upon me all these years. I curse you, Andromeda! If your captain ever scratches his hand on a Nietzschean's bone spurs, he will fall into eternal sleep, unless awakened by the kiss of a captain as brave as he!"
With that, VX left in a huff. Dylan and the High Guard officers all chuckled, for they did not believe in magic and curses. But Andromeda was very worried. What if it was true? At the scratch of a bone spur, she would lose Dylan forever.
And so Dylan became Andromeda's captain, and as he chose his crew, Andromeda was careful to ensure there were no Nietzscheans aboard. And when the ship went on missions, she was careful to be sure there were no Nietzscheans involved. Some thought this strange, but let Andromeda have "her fun." In any case, Dylan lead Andromeda and her crew on many missions against the evil things that threatened the Commonwealth, and defeated all of them. And though he did not return Rommie's love, he was brave and honest, and as loyal to Andromeda and the crew as they were to him.
Now, in time, Dylan fell in love with Sara, the niece of Admiral Stark, and they planned to be married. This made Rommie sad, but Andromeda reminded her Dylan needed to marry a human woman, and besides, he would still be her/their captain. (I told you it could be confusing.) So she/they resolved to help plan Dylan and Sara's wedding and the reception afterwards.
The wedding was wonderful, attended by all the other captains and the avatars of their ships. The reception was even more fun; Rommie managed to enjoy herself, and even had a dance with Dylan. Then as they were leaving the dance floor, Rhade, a Nietzschean friend of Dylan's, came over to congratulate him. As Dylan and Rhade shook hands, Rommie remembered the curse, but before she could act, **Dylan scratched his hand on Rhade's bone spur!** Dylan swooned, and Rommie caught him and lowered him to the deck as he fell asleep. All the other captains and avatars gathered around, shocked and sad.
"This is all VX' curse," Rommie said, looking at the other captains with pleading eyes. "Please -- I know many of you captains are as brave as Dylan. Will one of you give him a kiss and wake him up?"
"Andromeda, you are being silly," the captains answered. "There is no such thing as magic and curses. Dylan has fallen ill. We will put the Commonwealth's finest minds to work on why he is sick and cure him with science."
And so Andromeda's robots carried Dylan to his cabin and laid him on his bed. And Sara, weeping, left with her aunt, Admiral Stark; and the other captains and avatars returned to their ships. And the Commonwealth's finest minds went to work to find out why Dylan was sick, but they could not find anything, and could not cure him. All they could say was that he was not deteriorating, and could sleep forever as he was.
So Admiral Stark went to Andromeda and said, "Andromeda, you need a captain who can give you orders, and Dylan can not do that. You must choose another captain."
Rommie spoke for the mighty starship: "No, Admiral Stark, Dylan is my captain and I will accept no other. Have one of the other captains come and wake him with a kiss, and I will do my duty again."
"Andromeda, you are being silly," Admiral Stark said. "There is no such thing as magic and curses. If you will not accept a captain, then your crew will be reassigned, and you will stay in the shipyard."
And Andromeda's crew was reassigned, although she did not let them take Dylan from his cabin; and Andromeda stayed in the shipyard. She hoped that one day a brave captain would wake Dylan with a kiss; it was only a matter of time.
Then, one day, the Nietzscheans revolted against the Commonwealth, and although they were outmanned and outgunned by the High Guard, it looked like they could win.
So again, Admiral Stark went to Andromeda, and said, "Andromeda, we need every available ship in this fight with the Nietzscheans. You *must* have a new captain. Choose another one and help us save the Commonwealth."
Rommie spoke for the mighty starship: "No, Admiral Stark, Dylan is my captain and I will accept no other. Have one of the other captains come and wake him with a kiss, and I will join your fight against the Nietzscheans."
"Andromeda, you are being silly," Admiral Stark said. "There is no such thing as magic and curses. Very well. If you will not accept a new captain, then we will fight without you. And if we lose, then be it on your head."
And so Andromeda was left alone, Dylan sleeping in his cabin, while Admiral Stark lead the fight against the Nietzscheans. And in the end, the High Guard and the Nietzschean fleet destroyed each other at the Battle of Witchhead, and the Commonwealth fell. And Andromeda was doubly sad, not only because she felt responsible for the Fall, but because there were no more brave captains to wake Dylan with a kiss.
Days became weeks became months became years and Andromeda stayed in the shipyard. One hundred years later, Dylan was still sleeping, as he had been when he had scratched Rhade's bone blades. But no one came to the lonely starship. Two hundred years passed and Dylan was still unchanged, but still no one came.
After 300 years, Andromeda was without hope, when a small ship entered the shipyard. It was called the Eureka Maru. Andromeda had never seen it before, and thought it was too small to hurt her, but this was still a High Guard shipyard, and she had to protect it.
She called to the Maru, "I am Andromeda of the High Guard. This is a restricted area, and you must leave or face the consequences."
Andromeda received a reply -- from a blonde woman at the helm of the little ship: "Well, whaddya know, it can talk! Well, Andromeda, I'm Captain Beka Valentine of the Eureka Maru. I'm here to salvage you and your shipyard. The Commonwealth is gone, and it's everyone for himself. Or herself. Itself. Whatever. Anyway, I can make a lot of money off you, and I ain't takin' 'no' for an answer. Capiche?"
Andromeda was stunned -- surely, the little Maru was no match for her. This Captain Valentine had to be very stupid, very crazy ....
.... or very brave?
'If she is as brave as Dylan,' Andromeda thought, 'maybe she can give Dylan the kiss to wake him. But she is too far away for me to see into her heart. I must find another way to test her.'
"As you wish, Captain Valentine," Andromeda said. "If you think you are brave enough to take me on, then come ahead!"
And so the Maru raced at and Andromeda, and Andromeda fired her missiles at the little ship, feeling sad that she might be killing her last hope for saving Dylan. But the little Maru dodged the first salvo of missiles, and then somehow jammed Andromeda's targeting sensors.
'This Beka must be brave to attempt this,' Andromeda thought. 'I will let her come aboard, and I will know for sure.'
And so the Maru landed in one of Andromeda's hangars, and Beka came aboard, and Andromeda could see into Beka's heart, and saw that in spite of a checkered past (to put it mildly), she was brave, honest, loyal, and kind.
"Ok, Andromeda, I'm here!" Beka said. "You're open salvage now."
"Yes, you have won," Rommie said, coming down the corridor. "But if you help me, you can have more than the money you would have got by looting me."
"Oh, yeah? How?"
"Follow me, and I will explain."
So Rommie lead Beka to Dylan's cabin; Beka's breath was taken away by the sight of him.
"Wow!" Beka said. "Sorry, but he's a real hunk. I haven't ..... uh, well, never mind. So, what's wrong with him?"
Rommie answered, "He was cursed by the Consensus of Parts 300 years ago and fell into eternal sleep."
"No way!"
"Yes .... 'way.' And so he will remain until he is awakened by the kiss of a captain as brave as he is."
"You mean .... me?"
"Yes."
"Andromeda, that's silly. No one believes in magic and curses."
At that, Andromeda started to despair again.
"On the other hand," Beka went on, "this place was supposed to be a myth, too, but it's real. Why not?"
So Beka leaned over and gave Dylan a kiss. And after a moment, Dylan's eyelids fluttered, and he woke up.
"Andromeda?" he asked. "What in the name of the Vedran Empress is going on here?"
Andromeda was very happy to have her captain back. And once Dylan had been filled in on what had happened, he convinced Beka to be his first officer, and help him restore the Commonwealth, which they did after many more adventures. And they lived happily ever after.
THE END