Tyr --> Trance
Harper --> Rommie
Rommie --> Harper
Rev --> Tyr
Dylan --> Beka
Beka --> Rev
Trance --> Dylan
Instead of each crew member giving a present to each
of the other crew members, Dylan decides to organize a "Secret Santa" in
which each crew member gives one present and receives one present. The
catch is that usually, the person who gives the present is anonymous to
the person who receives it. Thus, the secret part 
Imagine
if these were the names drawn. Pick one (or two, or more!) pairings and
write a fic about what would be given and how the receiver would react.
Silly Secret Santa Stuff
The crew of the Andromeda sat cross-legged on the floor around a miniature Christmas tree Trance had picked up on their latest visit to yet another fir-tree infested planet. The presents sat in a festive bundle and Harper was almost jumping up and down in excitement.
"Wow! A Christmas tree and presents. This is so cool. Who get to open theirs first? Rommie, how about you?"
Rommie tentatively picked the brightly coloured package up and peeled the wrapping away from…fur-lined silky knickers. "Oh!" Rommie said, her brow wrinkling as she pushed her hand through the crotch. "There seems to be a hole in these? Aren't fur-lined clothes supposed to be warm? These would be a bit drafty."
Harper giggled and the rest of the crew sighed. It was obvious who’d picked Rommie’s name out of the hat. Harper was unrepentant and wriggled in anticipation.
Dylan rolled his eyes, "Go on Harper. We’re not going to get any peace until you get yours are we?"
Harper snatched the foil-wrapped package with his name on it and ripped the paper off. He grinned as he discovered a data-chip and quickly jammed it into his neural interface.
"No! Wait!" Rommie cried, but it was too late.
"Whooooooooooo Hooooooooooooo!"
The rest of the crew stared at Harper who was obviously having the sort of fun a person should really enjoy in private.
Bzzzt! Pzing! "Oooooooooooooh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Harper’s eyes rolled back in his head and he fell over, semi-conscious. "Best Christmas ever!"
Rommie leaned over and looked at the chip. "Good grief! He shorted it out already. I thought that would be good for at least a week. Horny little…"
"Tyr!" Dylan interrupted, "Why don’t you open yours?"
Tyr muttered under his breath. The only words audible to the majority were ‘pointless’, ‘idiot’ and ‘salamander’. Nevertheless he picked up the parcel Dylan handed to him and opened it. Inside was a loose-knit vest of an unfamiliar fabric. Tyr sniffed delicately and turned to Rev. "Where did you get the wool?"
Rev grinned, showing all his teeth. "I sheared it from the bodies of my enemies."
Tyr threw his head back and laughed, "Thank you Rev, a most thoughtful gift."
"Gurgle, muh hum." Harper said, still staring at the ceiling.
Rev was next to pluck a parcel from the diminishing pile. The wrapping fell away to reveal a pair of brown shorts. "Interesting," Rev said. "Magog do not normally wear clothing over their lower extremities, but since this is a gift I shall do so." He tried to ignore the barely heard sighs of relief from various members of the crew.
"Beka?" Dylan said handing over a long parcel. Beka grinned in delight and tore off the paper almost as enthusiastically as Harper had until she sat holding a large bratwurst.
"Wow! A…big sausage."
"Gosh, what a co-incidence," Trance said, "Didn’t you say just last week that you’d like Dylan to give you a taste of his big s…"
"Trance!" Beka almost yelled, blushing pink and tossing a haphazardly wrapped present at her.
"Oh goody, my turn." Trance pulled out a long black leather…thing. "A new tail!" Trance squealed in delight, "And it moves!" She flicked a switch on the base and the ‘tail’ began to vibrate. Beka’s eyebrows rose but she was glad that everyone’s attention had been diverted away from her sausage.
"Sooooooo hmmmmm bahhhhh." Harper was trying to sit up, without much success.
"Ahem," Dylan ran a finger around his collar. "It might be best it you only…um…wore that on Andromeda…when no one else is around…it’s very…nice, but it doesn’t really match the rest of you."
"I can dye it purple." Trance smiled innocently. "I could wear it to the next diplomatic function. I’ll have to find some way to attach it though…" Trance petted the ‘tail’ dreamily and contemplated life with a tail again.
Dylan bit his tongue and decided to let Beka handle that one. Tomorrow.
Harper managed to sit up, then fell on his face and started drooling over the floor. Everyone ignored him.
There was one parcel left. Dylan picked it up with no little trepidation. Peeling back the paper he goggled at the contents. "Fruit cake!" he shouted. "Fruit cake!" Ripping off the last of the paper he shoved handfuls of the cake into his mouth. "Oh God! Fruit cake."
Trance smiled and patted Dylan’s hand. "I’m glad you like it."
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!" The rest of the crew was horrified at the sight of Dylan actually eating such a foul substance. Uncomfortable at witnessing such evil they made their excuses and left the room.
Trance skipped down the hall, waving her tail at the Mariabots.
"S’allgood," Harper muttered, clinging to Rev’s arm and carefully not looking at the shorts.
"Poor Dylan," Beka said, cradling her sausage.
"I can’t believe he touched it," Tyr said a slightly horrified expression on his face.
"I know," Rommie replied, tucking the silky knickers into her pocket. "How embarrassing for him."
"Mrry e-smash ev’one." Harper muttered.
The End