Rommie's P.O.V: I died the other day...
I died the other day, although to lock at me, you wouldn’t know it. I stand here, looking out of the window at the Drift, knowing that while the others are there, I have to stay here and watch the Maru.
I died the other day, and I don’t think they realize how hard it is for me, staying on a ship after what happened, but then, they could never understand. They don’t know how alone a feel right now: I’ve never been truly alone; I’ve always had someone with me, but not now.
I died the other day, and all they can do is think how it affects them. Yes, even Trance, the one person I thought might notice how I feel. But, like the others, she’s more concerned with keeping Dylan from going mad, and doesn’t see the pain in my eyes; she doesn’t hear it in my voice.
I died the other day: I’ve lost friends before, both before and after the fall, but never like this. I know how SHE felt about me, the things she had said, about me being just an extension of her, but we both new that wasn’t true for a moment. Despite how it may have looked to the others, we where, in a way, two separate people: two minds, two body’s, yet only one soul. God I wish Rev was still around, he’d know what to say to make the pain go away, even if only for a little while.
I died the other day, and I know Dylan blames me for it, even though he’ll never say so, not even behind my back. But then, in a way, it was my fault: I was too proud to say I was scared, that I was not as sure as I sounded. I was a good little warship, and told my captain that I could do what he asked of me. But I couldn’t, and now a part of me is dead: I killed her with my pride and my lies, sure as if I’d fire the missiles myself. Her blood is on my hands.
I died the other day, and I wish I could lay down and rest in peace, but I can’t: he still needs me, and I need him more now more than ever. I know the others morn the loss for their own reasons, but Dylan is the only one who’s grief comes close to my own, the only one who could ever understand how I feel right now.
I died the other day, and people will say it was for the best, that I did the right thing. But they’ll never understand how hard it was for me to lay down my life like that, knowing what it would do to Dylan, even though I knew the alternative was even more death and destruction
I died the other day, and now I must face the fact that no matter how much Dylan needs me, he’ll never want me the way I want him, he’ll never feel for me what I feel for him. That part of my life is gone, and can never be recaptured.
I died the other day, but for now, life goes on.
Dylan's POV: My friend died the other day
My friend died the other day, and it’s my fault: People say that I have no other choice: that I did what I had to do, that it was for the best. They can say that and feel better, but I can’t stand that lie.
The part that remains blames herself for it, and thinks that I do to. I wish I could find a way to tell her that it was not her fault: that I should never have asked her to do what I did. But the others are so worried for me that I can’t get any time alone with her.
Yes, ok I’ll admit it to my self once and for all: I love Rommie. I love her more than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone before, even Sera. But what can I do? I ordered her to face the Magog World-Ship: I could tell she was nervous, but I was her captain, and more than that, the man she loves, so she did as I asked without a word, doing her sworn duty to the end.
But what about my sworn duty? Andromeda was a High Guard officer, and I sworn an oath to do my best to protect her. But I did the opposite of that: I ordered her fight a battle she never had a chance of wining, and she died.
People will say that it worked out for the best: one ship lost to defeat the greatest threat the known worlds have ever known, but they never met Andromeda.
For the second time in my years as a captain, I ordered the crew to abandon ship, and then send her spiraling towards curtain destruction. Trance told me that there was no-way to defeat the Sprit of the Abyss without paying a high price, but I thought she meant I would have to give up my own life. To have her back again, it’s a price I would gladly pay.
So now I must say goodbye to my closest friend, the rock I clung to when I was ready to give up, the only one who ever understood my mission.
And yes, I have to face my feelings for Rommie. I know the Commonwealth has plans for me, probably promotion to a desk job somewhere, turning me into an old warhorse that they can drag out for ceremonies. But I don’t want that: I’m a captain, and that’s all I want to be.
I’ll try and keep my crew together, but I don’t know if there want to stay. None of them are High Guard officers; despite the ranks I gave them. I think they’ll stay, but they all have their own agendas, so if they leave, I won’t blame them.
Trance said that this may not be the perfect possible future she had always work towards, but it was better than the one she had come back from, and she didn’t think she could do any better if she tried again.
I’ll go see Rommie, make sure she’s ok.
Trances POV: All’s well that ends well
So here we are at journeys end, and we all have decisions to make: Tyr and Beka have to decide if they truly love each other, Harper has to decide how he feels for me (He knows how I feel for him), and Dylan and Rommie have to decide how they feel for each other once and for all.
So I sit here in the bar, keeping an eye on Dylan as he nurses a drink, lost in thought. I could read his mind, maybe push him in what I think is the right direction, but that would be wrong: when all is said and done, he has to come to his own decision.
My mind wanders, my own thoughts of Rommie coming to the fore: she thinks that I don’t see how hurt she is, that I don’t understand, but I do. I’ve been through this point in time so many times (No pun intended) that I’m more than aware of how she feels. Indeed, I think I could guess what’s going through everyone’s mind right now.
Rommie doesn’t know about the discussion I had with Andromeda’s main-AI: I told Andromeda that it could come down to a choice between her and Dylan, and she wasted no time in saying that it should be, could only be, Dylan who lived, but only on the condition that her Avatar would survive. People always seemed to think of Andromeda’s relationship with Rommie as symbiotic, but I always thought it was like sisters: the older looking out for the younger.
I look across the room, and from the look in their eyes, it pretty clear how Beka and Tyr feel for each other. I watch Dylan finish his drink and leave the bar. I follow him at a distance as he makes his way back to the Maru. He stops at the airlock, and for a moment, I’m worried that he’ll change his mind, but he doesn’t. I smile as the airlock closes after him: two down, one to go.
I turn to head back to the bar, but I see Harper standing across the corridor, a nervous smile on his face. I slowly walk up to him, my own nerves on edge. He takes my hands and draws me close for that first kiss: In all the time-lines I’ve been through, this is the only one where he’s decided he loves me as much as I love him.
I told Dylan that this was not the perfect possible future I’d always hopped for, but from where I’m standing, it’ll do for now.
The End.