Author: Vesper
Fandom: Andromeda
Pairing: Harper/Dylan
Rating: NC17
Status: Sequel to After Jaeger (Part 3 of the ‘Fighting Demons’ series)
Archive: WWoMB and AU
Feedback: Is there anyone who DOESN’T want feedback?
E-mail: venskaill@angelfire.com
Disclaimer: I don’t get paid for this, it’s just how I get my sick kicks.
Summary: Harper and Dylan try to work through some of the darkness in the past.
The First Step
#Never saw their faces#
#Pain#
#Fear#
Harper jerked awake, sweat pouring off his skin. "Damn." He hated how shaky he sounded. There was no point trying to go back to sleep yet he knew. He was going to have to exorcise the demons first.
Harper pulled himself out of bed and walked over to the whisky he’d bought at their last stop. He tipped the bottle into his mouth and swallowed down great gulps of the fiery liquid.
#Goodbye bad dreams, hello oblivion#
Harper almost choked as his door opened without warning.
Dylan stood there in sleep pants with his hair sticking up at the side. "Go easy on that stuff," he said, "It’s murder on the stomach lining."
Harper just stared. "What are you doing here?"
"I asked Andromeda to wake me up if your dreams disturbed you."
#Confusion#
"Why?"
Dylan walked over and pulled the bottle out of Harper’s hand. "Because I don’t want you hiding your problems in the bottom of a bottle of booze, flash, iack or whatever other poison is lying around. You mean too much to me to just waste."
The whisky that Harper had swallowed was beginning to have an effect; he was feeling warm and a little more comfortable despite the cooling sweat coating his body.
"Fine, whatever. I’m going back to bed now. Unless you were planning on joining me I think it’s time for you to leave."
Dylan hesitated before nodding silently and heading for the door.
He took the whisky with him.
<+><+><+>
"Dammit!"
Harper’s nanowelder flew across the machine shop and impacted with the bulkhead. Dylan stepped over it and made his way over to his engineer.
Harper was sitting with his head in his hands, oblivious to Dylan’s approach. Dylan noticed that there were tears rolling down Harper’s cheeks. Without saying anything he slowly put his arms around Harper and held him tightly.
Harper tensed for a moment and then turned his head into Dylan’s shoulder. "How come you’re always here when I need someone?"
"I’ll always be here Harper. You know that."
"No, I don’t. No one is ever there forever. The longest anyone’s ever been there for me was ten years and even that was sporadic."
"Has your life been so terrible?"
"No. Yes. I’ve lived a lot in twenty-five years. Some good, some bad. It’s just that the bad was very very bad."
#Pain#
"Tell me."
"No."
"Jaeger wasn’t the first time you were raped."
"No." Harper buried his face further into Dylan’s jacket.
"On Earth?"
"Yes."
"How old were you?"
Harper let out a weak laugh, "Young and old and a couple of times in between."
"It happened more than once?"
Harper just nodded.
"I won’t let it happen to you again."
Harper pulled away and scowled. "Don’t say that! You can’t control the Universe. Look how easily J…Jaeger took out the Andromeda. Do you really think you could have stopped him? I’m maybe slightly safer here but I’m not safe. Nothing is ever safe."
"Sorry." Dylan said, carefully pulling Harper back into his arms. "I meant that I’ll do everything in my power to stop that from happening again."
"Feeling helpless makes the dreams worse."
"I can understand that." Dylan started stroking his fingers through Harper’s hair.
"Last night…" Harper hesitated. "I’m sorry I was so angry with you."
"It’s okay."
"Part of me wanted you to stay. That’s why I made that crack about you joining me."
"Oh." Dylan shifted uncomfortably, "Part of me wanted to stay too."
"What about the rest of you."
"The rest was pretty sure you’d try to find something to stab me with if I suggested it."
"Uh. Dylan…I know you’re one of the good guys,"
Dylan sighed, "Oh, I’m not that good. If I was I wouldn’t be sniffing your hair right now."
"It’s okay: I get it that you want in my pants, but I know you’d never do anything to hurt me."
"Good."
"So what now?"
"That’s entirely up to you. My cards are already on the table. You get to call the shots. Am I making any sense here at all?"
"Yeah. I think we start here…" Harper looked up at Dylan’s face for a moment before moving to lightly place a kiss on the older man’s lips. "I don’t know about the ‘getting into my pants’ part yet but I think having you around will make me feel a little less helpless."
<+><+><+>
#Hands everywhere#
#Pain#
#Humiliation#
#Fear#
Harper woke screaming again. This time he felt warm flesh pressed against his back and he scrambled out of the bed.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck. NO!" Harper yelled as hands reached out for him, his nightmare still hovering over him like a cloud of poison gas.
"Harper…Harper, it’s me. It’s Dylan."
Harper took great gulping breaths as reality began to pierce his terror-induced fog. "Dylan?"
Dylan slid onto the floor beside him but didn’t try to touch him again. "Yes, it’s me. Remember we talked all evening and you asked me to stay here? We thought it might stop the nightmares. I guess this means we were wrong."
#Shame#
"Sorry." Harper pulled himself up and turned on a low light. He could guess how bad he looked from the expression in Dylan’s eyes. He looked over at the timepiece beside the bed. "Well I got an extra three hours of sleep, so I think our experiment was a partial success. I usually wake up screaming at two am, it’s almost five now."
"It’s still too early to get up. Do you want to come back to bed?"
Harper nodded and they slid back under the covers together. Harper put his arms around Dylan and laid his head on the older man’s chest. Dylan’s heart was beating rather faster than it should. "I scared you didn’t I?"
"A little but I was expecting it."
"You didn’t think your presence was going to keep the demons away?"
"I thought it was worth a try, and the chance to spend the night in your bed wasn’t to be passed up."
Harper snickered and wriggled on top of Dylan. "So this was just an opportunity to get closer to the contents of my pants?"
"No!" Dylan exclaimed, "I wouldn’t…"
"Yeah, yeah. I’m just funning with you. I know you don’t really have an ulterior motive. You already admitted you want me."
"And I’ll wait until you’re ready."
Harper dropped his mouth to Dylan’s and kissed him slowly. Harper deepened the kiss and parted his lips slightly before flicking his tongue lightly across Dylan’s mouth.
Dylan groaned, "Harper, that’s not the best thing to do when you’re lying all over me."
"Adrenaline rush." Harper replied and kissed him again. This time his tongue slipped into Dylan’s mouth and the older man twisted his hands in the sheets to prevent himself from grabbing onto Harper.
Harper felt the blood filling his cock as he realised Dylan was getting aroused under him. He noted the way Dylan was holding back and grinned.
"You’d never hurt me, yes?"
"Yes." Dylan gasped as Harper nipped his earlobe and rubbed their crotches together.
"Never? Not even if I did this?" Harper kissed Dylan deeply with a passion that the older man had rarely felt before. Dylan grew dizzy as Harper rolled his left nipple with rough fingers and rubbed their erections together. Harper pulled back and looked at Dylan in the dim light. "Never?"
Dylan twisted his hands deeper into the sheets and replied, "Never."
Harper smiled slowly and slipped his hand down between them, into Dylan’s sleep pants. He pulled them down and wriggled out of his own. Dylan groaned loudly as Harper wrapped his hand around both their cocks and started stroking them off in a fast rhythm.
"Ohhh Harper…"
"Help me out here, would you." Harper panted. "I want you to help me take the bad away."
Dylan tugged himself free of the sheets and wrapped his hand around Harper’s smaller one. A few quick pumps and they came together over Dylan’s chest.
Harper was gasping and shivering, his head resting on Dylan’s shoulder. Dylan curled an arm around him and asked, "Are you all right?"
"Yes, I’m good. I’m okay. I think I can sleep now."
Dylan lay dazed and contented listening to Harper’s breathing even out. Dylan was sure that this wasn’t the end of Harper’s nightmares but he thought it likely that they had just taken the first step to a happy ending.
The End