Warnings: Yeah, Beka gets a little horny in this chapter, so I'm pushing it up to R just to be on the safe side. But really, what other way is there to react when you walk in on two good looking men kissing ; )
Dead Men Don't Cry, Part 9
I steer carefully into the docking bay that has been left open for us, hopefully by Andromeda. Can't help but shake the feeling that we're all walking straight into a trap.
"Now there's the problem of closing the-"
I hear a mechanical whirr above and a crashed of metal against metal as the doors slam shut.
Oh yeah, definitely a trap. I look over at Trance, but the look on her face really isn't telling me much. Tyr seems to agree with me, though, because I catch the movement of his hand tightening its grip around the really big gun he's flaunting. The expression on his face almost resembles fear... funny, I didn't think Nietzscheans felt fear. Maybe it's just intense worrying. I've got to wondered, though, is it him or Harper that he's 'intensely worried' about. Since that scene between the two of them I really can't be too sure.
Tyr, despite whatever he is feeling, takes the silent lead as we leave the ship. I follow immediately after, and Harper and Trance take the back, but it doesn't feel right, standing in the middle of these two, especially with that whole awkwardness of catching them making out back on the ship. More awkward was how arousing the sight of Harper in Tyr's lap, their hands temporarily threaded through each other's hair as they crushed their mouths against each other... if I had walked in ten minutes later I might have had an entirely different show to watch, one that I doubt I could ever fully recover from... Too bad. But, if all goes well, maybe I might happen to get a sneak peak later...
I slow my pace, and Harper passes me without a single glance back. His attention is obviously torn between his ship and his man. That could be bad, and I really hope it doesn't come to Harper choosing between the two he seems to care most about.
I look back at Trance, just in time to see her sniff the air curiously. She looks so cute like that, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. Always will be my favorite Trance expression, no matter what color she turns next. Her nose wiggles back and forth as she processes the scent that I can't smell. On purple Trance it might have looked too cute, but I'm beginning to realize that Orange really suits Trance. Can't say I don't like the new wardrobe either, and the hair is a nice touch. I like being the only blond, other than Harper, but Tyr must feel sorta put out, since Trance's new 'do really sorta resembles his. Mmm... Harper and Tyr.... A visual of what they might have looked like 10 minutes later pops into my head, and I can't help the little shiver of excitement that runs through me, settling in my groin. The feel of my skin tight leather pants rubbing against my sudden arousal would have made me gasp aloud, had it not been for the almost comical facial expression Trance has on her face right now. Her nose freezes in mid-wiggle and her eyes get big before she stares straight at me in shock.
Oh god, she can smell that?
Talk about embarrassing situations... she didn't used to be able to do that! I'm gonna have to watch myself now, which is difficult considering that knowing Trance knows how aroused I am right now seems to have the opposite effect of a cold shower. I quickly turn around and try to reassess my priorities....
Here to do a job, Valentine, get your act together.
Then, just as I'm beginning to regain my concentration, Harper suddenly stops. What the... oh. Tyr stopped too. A different kind of tingle runs up my spine, and I manage to shove Trance back before all hell breaks loose.
Harper's screams are cut off by Tyr's rapid action firing, followed by my own slower shots into the darkness in front of him. God, I hope Rommie isn't stuck in the middle of whatever I'm firing at, because I can't see a thing. Trance is shooting off with almost as much confidence as our resident Nietzschean, so I'm guessing that her improved sense of smell isn't the only new feature. Why is Harper screaming and not fighting? I spare him a moment's glance and suddenly I feel like screaming too as soon as I see what he's holding in his hands.
Oh god, Rommie, I'm so sorry...
Suddenly pain shoots through my lower leg, up all the way to my waist and I colapse, feeling electricity sizzling through my lower body. Strong arms catch me and I look up in surprise and fear, expecting to see Hunt, but its Trance. She readjusts me to her left arm and keeps firing with her right, all the time yelling to Tyr above the noise. Wow, I guess her nose really isn't the only thing that's improved. She throws me a smile and starts dragging me backwards.
My head, suddenly spinning, falls back against her shoulder, and I see what I think is Tyr carrying a kicking and screaming Harper over his shoulder as we retreat. I bleakly wonder where we're going to, since the Maru is too obvious a place, before everything blurs and goes dark.
**************************************************************************** *
I wake up, disoriented, numb all over and yet in lots of pain at the same time. A cargo bay, from my limited vantage point seemingly empty. I try to turn my head but my vision blurs and something pushes me back against the cold wall as I start to fall forward.
A reassuring orange face appears in front of mine as soon as my vision clears.
"Take it slow," she orders softly, steadying me with one hand.
"Harper?" I manage to whisper, instinctively trying to look around again, which is reward by another bout of dizziness, and this time nausea.
"He's asleep now."
"Is he- Was he..."
"No, he and Tyr both got away without injury," she says, her natural smile fading as her dark eyes cloud.
I slowly tilt my head back, feeling the welcome cool of the metal through my hair.
"Rommie..." I sigh, my voice returning as the sadness washes over me, "Can he..."
Trance lowers herself to the ground in front of me, biting her lip worriedly.
"We don't know yet... As soon as we secured the locker he tried to break the door down. Tyr got... scratched, and we had to sedate him to keep him from hurting himself."
She paused, letting the information sink into my still fuzzy brain.
"We're hoping he'll be able to speak coherently once he comes out of it.
"Where is Tyr anyway? I should think he would be getting on my case for getting shot by now..." I slowly lower my head and half heartedly look around.
"Out scouting for ammunition and weapon. His ran out of shots, and mine doesn't really do much damage..."
She ran her hand through the hair falling into my eyes before pushing it out of my face, infecting me with that adorable little smile of hers.
"My pulse pistol..."
"You dropped it back when Hunt attacked us."
I noticed that she didn't call him Dylan or Captain, and wondered how radically he must have changed to make the distinction clear.
"You saw him?"
"Yeah, what's left of him. Rommie went out fighting."
A hard tone takes hold of her voice and the look in her eyes is frightening even to me. Dylan, or Hunt, or whoever will be very sorry that he crossed Trance Gemini.
Suddenly I hear a distant moan, and the look in her eyes changes to panic as I quickly search for the source, ignoring the swimming sensation in my brain.
"Beka-" she starts, but her voice dies as she realizes that I see him.
Oh god, Harper, what have they done to you?
He's leaning against a crate in a dark corner, hands strung up above his head with what looks like old fashion electrical wire, which also encircles his waist. The blood coming out of his broken nose is what makes me push myself up from the floor.
"Trance, what the hell is going on?"
She jumps to her feet and backs up defensively, as if she were protecting him.
"It was necessary, Beka. He was wild, he didn't know what he was doing. We had to stop him from doing something he'd regret later. Just wait until you see Tyr-"
"Tyr..." I can't help but snarl as I imagine him hitting Harper, knock him down, punching him in the nose so hard that it bleed and breaks and knocks him out cold, then tying him up in that obscene manner. I struggle to get up, wanting to be prepared for him when he walks through the door.
"How could you just stand there and let him-" I begin in complete disbelief, and Trance suddenly lowers her eyes, her soft voice making my jaw drop in shock.
"It wasn't Tyr; it was me..."
Trance? My mind tries that picture out for size, and I still can't believe a word of it... Gentle, purple Trance... no that's not this Trance. This Trance is the one who nearly took over the ship while possessed by the Bokor leader, the one who's orange and dangerous and not quite alive. I don't care if she looks better this way, I want the old Trance back.
"How could you? This is Harper we're talking about!"
She shakes her head sadly before turning her face away.
"You don't understand... he was dangerous that way, bad things were going to happen soon if I didn't stop him..."
I can't feel sorry for her, no matter how innocent she may look, hiding behind her long, chaotic braids, but I still can't help regretting my next words before they even leave my mouth.
"Yeah, and maybe you're dangerous this way! Should I tie you up, knock you out, break your nose?"
"Beka-" her face whips around in shock and hurt, but I can't stop myself.
"I have never questioned you, not even when you disappeared and came back completely different, not even when you hide everything from us. But this... This is unacceptable. Harper is part of my crew, and I won't stand for anyone hurting him, not even you, Trance."
Her face burns orange even where it wasn't orange before, and her eyes darken, but nothing hurts me more than the sight of tears, clear, pure, normal Trance tears, rolling down her checks. I want to take it all back, I want to hug her and tell her I'm sorry and have her smile softly and tell me everything will be ok again, but after this I'm not sure it will, because something has changed.
"You don't understand!" she yells, all her calm and control gone, " I couldn't let him hurt Tyr, couldn't let him smash the control panel and run after Dylan. He would have gotten himself killed, destroyed Tyr, and everything would have been the same, bad like before! Dylan would have used his force lance on you, the one he modified to ignite things with, and then you would have ended up like before, half human, so ashamed and alone and afraid...."
She pauses, and suddenly it seems like she's not talking to me anymore, that I'm not here to her. I know she's about to say something disasterous, something that will change things forever, and I want to stop her, but the words are stuck in my throat.
Her voice softens to a barely audible whisper as she stares at a seemingly empty spot on the floor, swaying gently as if she were about to fall.
"After it happened, after the limb replacement surgery you weren't the same anymore. You were so cold to all of us, to Rev, to me, to Tyr.... So disgusted by yourself, what you looked like, how you had ended up like Bobby... You acted like you were afraid you'd crush us if you touched us, or even looked at us, and in time all you could do was kill."
What she had just said was shocking enough, but I was completely unprepared for what she told me next.
"After Tyr left and Rev got killed by the new pride, you wouldn't even look at me, and it all got worse after I told you how much I cared about you. You couldn't stand to even be on the same side of the ship as me.. You would never let me love you, or show you how much I loved you. All you did was push me away after that, because you hated me. You hated me because I still loved you even then, because I loved what you had become just as much as I had loved you before, just as much as I always had....."
She grew silent, but didn't look up. Love? Trance loved me? There was no question in my mind how she had meant the word love, how she loved me, whether it was this me or the other one. Never before had I been so shocked, so confusion, so sorry that I had hurt her so badly. Sadness and regret overwhelm.
"Oh Trance..." I begin, and suddenly the spell is over. Her head shoots up, and the grief and anger were both gone from her features. It has been replaced with cold fear, regret, and something else that I can't quite identify... something that looks suspiciously like love.
"I'm so sorry, Beka, I didn't mean to do that. It was wrong."
She straightens and her features suddenly go blank. Her eyes are like small, empty glass marbles.
"Sorry?" I squeaked.
"It was the wrong time, the wrong place, the wrong way... I shouldn't have force my feelings on you like that."
I think at first she was continuing with her narrative, but something in her voice convinces me that she was talking about what had just happened.
"Trance-"I begin, not knowing exactly what I should say, or even how I felt.
A banging on the door interrupts me. Three short, but firm knocks, and the moment is over.
Damn!
Trance goes over to the door and jabbed at the half functioning keypad beside it, causing the doors to jerk open a crack. Large brown fingers thread themselves through and push the doors apart, with the assistance of Trance, and steps through quickly before they push the doors closed again and Trance punches in some numbers on the pad again.
Tyr steps into the light and I wince at the sight of the long, deep gash that ran from his cheekbone to chin, narrowly missing his eye socket. He glances over at me before turning to Trance.
"Nothing. He's cleared out every weapons storage locker on this level, and most likely the ship, "Tyr growled in frustration before looking over at Harper, his expression unreadable.
"He'll be coming out of it soon... I think it would be best if you were here when he did."
Tyr's mouth opened to object, but he closed it again, before sliding down the wall opposite Harper to rest on the balls of his feet, looking completely ready and able to both tear off someone's limbs with his bare hands or to hold and comfort a boy mourning the loss of one of his closest friends. Most likely he'd do both eventually.
Trance backed into a corner and huddled there, her knees hugged to her chest, making me regret every harsh word I had ever said to her, as well as the other me that she had loved just as well.
I want to say something, anything to her to bring her back - not the purple, harmless Trance, but the wise Orange one who had loved me even when I could love myself, or would love me when I could no longer love myself, depending on how the shape of the universe changed from this moment on.
Instead we sat in silence, each trapped in our own sadness and regret, until I grew so tired that I couldn't hold my eyes open any longer. When I slept I dreamt of the time, the events that Trance had described, but this time everything was different. This time when Dylan burned half of my body I didn't changed my hair to match the color of the fire that had consumed the parts of me that were replaced my steal and wires. Harper didn't die and Tyr didn't leave, and Sanya was a faceless guy who wasn't really important at all. Rev still lived and breathed.
And I saw myself, hands threaded through dark orange braids as slim fingers threaded through mine and I allowed myself to be loved.