Title: Close Shave
By: Brit
Rating: R more for innuendo than anything else
Tyr and Harper. Tiny bit of implied future slash
Disclaimer: I do not own Andromeda and her crew. I don’t
profit by my fanfic. It is written purely for fun and to entertain fellow
fans of the series.
"Harper if you wish to have sex you will lose those ridiculous boxers and lie still."
"It's all right for you, Tyr, you don't have to go through this ritual to get laid."
"Well it is the tradition on this planet so you will just have to accept it." Tyr's voice held no sympathy as he wielded the cut-throat razor.
"Be careful Tyr," Harper whined as the big Nietzschean reached a critical place. Harper closed his eyes and tried to think of other things. Tyr had a nerve criticising his underwear. He idly wondered what the big uber wore under those tight pants. A leopard skin thong, or maybe he went commando.
Harper laughed at the thought, then yelped as Tyr nicked him. "By the Divine, Tyr be careful."
"Do not move, boy or you will not care any more about having sex."
Harper felt himself whither. Mr Happy was in retreat. "It doesn't look like I'm gonna be capable anyway." Harper tried to sit up to look at his shrivelled manhood. Tyr pushed him back down, none too gently. The big Nietzschean picked up the offending member between finger and thumb, leaned forward and blew gently on it. Despite himself Harper’s cock twitched and stiffened. "Tyr!" The young engineer was rendered almost speechless. Who would have imagined that Tyr would ever do something like that?
"Tyr laughed. "I do not foresee any problems, roll over, boy I have almost finished."
When he was done Tyr turned to the saffron robed man who had been observing the proceedings. "I believe that he is now ready for your inspection. The man nodded and moved towards Harper. The priest was carrying a pair of gold tweezers and a magnifying glass. Harper gulped nervously.
Tyr sat and waited for the verdict. Trust the boy to find complications in something as straightforward as the act of copulation. Harper had fallen hard, in every meaning of the word, for the daughter of a local trader. There was no objection to the girl having sex with an offworlder; in fact impregnation was positively encouraged to add a little variety to the planetary gene banks. The problem was in the rituals that were needed before the act could take place. Both participants had to be totally shaved first. The shaving had to be carried out by the closest relative or friend of the same sex. Dylan was unavailable so the task had fallen to Tyr.
The Nietzschean smiled as Harper's yelps indicated that the priest had plucked some stray hairs.
Once the priest was finished Harper stood up and walked over to Tyr. "Thanks, big guy, I owe you one. Feels kinda weird, though and it's gonna itch like Hell when it grows back.
"Enjoy yourself, Harper, although why anyone would want your genetic material is a mystery." The big Nietzschean stood up to leave but was stopped by the priest's hand on his arm.
"The ritual is not yet completed."
Harper groaned. "Please don't tell me you have to paint Mr Happy blue?"
The priest smiled. "No, nothing like that. It is now the turn of the shaved one to reciprocate."
Harper looked puzzled. The priest handed him a razor. "You must now shave he who shaved you."
The engineer took the razor and advanced on Tyr. The small human had a wicked grin on his face. He hadn’t forgotten the feel of Tyr’s warm breath on his manhood. He wondered if the Nietzschean would be prepared to take things further.
However, there was one thing he would find out for sure.
Thong or commando? Either way he was going to enjoy this.